|We're the ones your mother warned your about...No, seriously. We are.|
Helpful Holiday Content
Now, before we go any further, I should preface this by saying that Anya honestly does like the Holidays. It's freaky and disturbing (much like her), but still - True Story. However, since it's Anya, there's always a twist. Therefore, when I got these two Holiday Greetings within a week of each other - the first through the post, the second over e-mail - it just seemed fitting to share them with you, our readers, on the off chance that you were still looking for a the perfect turn of phrase to fill your holiday cards.
Anya's Holiday Card Message -
*Except for those individuals on the "To Be Killed" List.
Anya's Holiday Memorandum -
Please be advised, my last nerve is currently the only one remaining, and it is fraying on the edges. If you push me beyond the point of my endurance, I fear it will snap.
Once this occurs, those fears many of you have regarding me will be validated. I will go postal all over your asses, and laugh maniacally as blood spatters all over the place. I will not have regrets later about this homicidal spree, either. Once you're dead, I will look back on the memory with fondness and affection for the slaying since it represents future PEACE for me.
This memo is to encourage you to shut the hell up and stay out of my way.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter, and Merry Fucking Christmas!