I’m ready for my close up now….
9:00 am.
Welcome to Melody Ranch. Oddly enough, I was early. The two hours I was told it would take to get here was actually about an hour & 5. The feeling of driving in LA & watching all the other traffic going in the other direction as you whiz by is downright disconcerting. Novel and slightly exhilarating as this new experience is, I’m still more than a wee scoche early, so I sit and wait from someone to direct me where to go. Note to self : Leave later tomorrow.

I’d also like to take a minute & thank Central Casting for forgetting the fact that you have to hit # after punching in the gate code. I know there are a couple of other extras that would join me in extending the sentiment. Luckily, someone on the crew drove up behind me & let me in. < sarcasm > *thumbs up* way to go, guys! < /sarcasm >

After finding the tent for “background”, an Assistant Director (A.D.) named Valerie greeted us. Valerie was also the same crew member that got to ask questions a & b at the costume fitting. She gets all the fun jobs, it would seem, ‘cause she’s in charge of us for the day.

12:10 am.
Well. I’ve been here for about three hours now. I’m corseted, my hair is up and appropriately disheveled, complete with stern instructions from Rudy the Hair Guy that I’m to do it in pincurls tonight so that it’ll be perfect tomorrow. I swung by the makeup booth & dutifully allowed myself to be layered in “dirt”. (Seabreeze & tanning lotion.) Hours actually spent shooting?

Zero. But hey - I’ve been told I’m a lovely whore.

1:00 pm.
Pictures. They seem to be all about the pictures. The digital camera must have been a godsend for hair and makeup people in Hollywood. We’re probably starting after lunch.

1:45 pm. Had lunch.
Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting some more….

Did I mention the part where I’m doing a whole lot of waiting?

Waiting.

I’m so bringing my knitting tomorrow.

2:30
Okay then. Valerie appears to let us know that they’re ready for us on the set, and we troop over. After being warned to be as quiet as possible, we’re shepherded inside. You know how a movie set looks on those “Behind the Scenes” thingys, where it’s this building that gets taken apart and put back together again like the ultimate 3-D jigsaw puzzle? It’s exactly like that. When I walked in, one entire wall of the “bar” was gone. The cameras were there instead. In fact, this particular set was so new that the wood was still fragrant from the sap which also made it a bit sticky to the touch.

We were distributed out across the room by another A.D. named Kenny. I was paired up with another extra named Tony. Our job was to drunkenly stumble around a corner, fall onto a bench, do a shot, then stumble up the stairs. Shooting started, and we went through our paces.

Again.

And again.

Again with the again.

Hey! One more time!

The rather nice thing about this is that once we got past the first landing on the staircase, we were no longer in the shot & could therefore just hang out on the balcony to watch the process - and the tech who was napping in the shadows behind the lights that I’m guessing he was in charge of.

Actors are patient people. I watched the three principals in the scene go at it between ten and fifteen takes and hit each line with almost exactly the same pitch and cadence in each run through. As someone who gets jumpy waiting at red lights, I was ready to move on by the sixth time I did a shot. However, my boredom tends to breed questions, and here’s what I learned.

When that scene was declared done, my partner Tony made a much-desired break for the bathroom. That left me footloose and fancy-free. Being an independent kind of whore, I plotzed myself down at one of the tables, and began playing blackjack for the next scene. Hoo boy. Let me share a secret with you. People playing cards in Westerns aren’t peering at their cards because they’re acting stupid. That’s what happens when you give a group of people from the 21st century a deck with no numbers. We sat there counting, “Eight, nine…yeah, blackjack. At least, I’m pretty sure I’ve got 21.”

Since card-playing doesn’t require all that much in continuity (or, at least, it didn’t in my case), the three of us just phased out and played endless rounds. For those of you wondering, yes. I won a bunch. Pity there wasn’t actual money involved.

The scene wrapped, and background was herded outside while they….did…..stuff. (I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what they did while I was gone. Don’t ask.) It was then that I learned a valuable lesson - if you throw out your trash, & craft service sees you doing it, craft service will love you. A bunch. This was proven by Randy, who showed himself to truly be a might amongst men when he brought three of us hot cheese quesadillas when we were freezing our butts off standing outside in the desert at night. Randy rocks, I tell you. Beyond the telling of it.

The red light for shooting finally went off, so I scurried back in and hid with a couple of the others in the back where we were warm and out of the way. Not to mention near craft service.

After hanging out for another forty-five minutes, Valerie came over and let us know we were done for the night. Time to de-corset, drive home, and shower off the dirt while fighting the urge to shave.

Hours worked : nine
Hours actually on set : maybe three?
Paycheck : $63.53 - post taxes

Tip of the day : If you’re going to be an extra, wait until after the first day to wear a white shirt. You never know what your make up will be. I stopped at a convenience store on the way home, & the combination of my hair & Hollywood “dirt” caused the cashier to ask me if I’d been doing mechanic work.