A Series of Unfortunate Automotive Events

Time to try to start calling cab companies to find one that would allow me to take the dog in the cab. ('cause remember the dog? Yeah, she's in the car that's now parked in the spot next to the Range Rover) I'm about to start dialing,& this odd little Indian man next to me offers me a ride home because “that is what I would want someone to do for my daughter”.

Okay, on the one hand…stranger.
Cons – Stranger.
In my favor – I can totally take this guy. He's like four inches shorter than me, & I'd have Zoey in the car.

On the other hand – cab.
Cons – Have to PAY the stranger, and it would be at least half an hour before the cab even showed up.between us.
Pros – Still a stranger, but a stranger with a plexiglass divider between us.

Yeah, I decided to take a risk with Kabir, after I warned him that I a) had a dog, & b) had like, five bags from Wal Mart & 30 lbs of dog food with me. Kabir was surprisingly okay with this. Fine, dude – and although I didn't say it out loud, while I appreciate the generosity - if you touch me, I kick your ass. That's the rule, even if you don't know about it.

Within the 15 minutes of the ride home (yes it takes 15 minutes to go 4 miles in Los Angeles), I learned that Kabir used to work at UCLA & had worked with “two top scientists in America” and was now running a consulting company doing Oracle training seminars. He informed me that I should consider moving to Westwood because “it is a little more money yes, but much nicer and you are a decent lady, you should not be in Hollywood, this is not a nice place.” Note : I'm in West Hollywood. It's about a stone's throw from Beverly Hills. There's big difference, trust me. It seems there's a great Indian restaurant in Marina Del Ray that I should go to, because “there are many men there who would very much like the company of a pretty lady like yourself”…oh my god…why is my life so weird…. Also, did you know that Kabir was taught by his grandmother in India to read palms before he came out to the United States for his education many years ago? According to Kabir, palm reading actually comes from India and China, “not from that gypsy rabble you see nowadays.” Personally, I don't hang out with a lot of “gypsy rabble” on a regular basis, so I'm just going to go with his word on that.

I directed Kabir to the corner of where I live, & had him park in front of the former mortuary across from the Jewish temple. (Oh, until you've seen it, you wouldn't believe what's around my house – we haven't even gotten to the firehouse, the gay porn theatre, or the strip club.) Now, the entrances to my building & the building next door are right next to one another, & from the side, you can't really see where the person is going into. I was counting on this.

I go to shake Kabir's hand and thank him for the ride, and he flips my palm over and says, “I will do quick quick reading for you, since you are such a nice girl – you come to the restaurant, where there is better light, I shall do more…but yes, quick one for you now.”

I don't know what it is about me, but I get this a lot – maybe I somehow look wholesome & gullible, I don't know, but whenever I do one of those $5 to get your palm read for fun things or whatever, it's always kinda weird. I once had the psychic person at a party OzLady was giving walk up to me, grab my wrist & say, “He misses you, and you should tell him the truth. Also, beware of a dark haired woman who is horribly jealous of you.” Okay yeah, that's…great, and in no way freaking me out.

Anyway, Kabir informed me that my lifeline is long and deep, with no major health complications. He predicted my life span as reaching into the 90s, so I'll be around to bother you all for a very long time. My education is very strong up through my Bachelor's degree, and then I continue a little more softly for a while, but I will continue my education, despite the break in my education line. My career line is very strong, although I am not there 100% now, and I shall end up rather well off, although “not like Bill Gates fortune, for who would want all of his responsibility and worry, hahahahaa…” And my love line indicates that I'm to soon be with the love of my life, although he will not be in California, and we shall be together for 40 years. Oh, and supposedly there is a man out there that loves me very much but is afraid. Dear psychics - stop telling me that. That's um, that's very helpful. Thanks. Can I have my hand back, Kabir?

Luckily for me, my neighbor Dave walked out to the sidewalk to smoke & waved at me. “I'm so sorry,” I said quickly, “but that's my brother. Here, let me get everything so that you don't have to wait any longer. Yes, please, write down the name of the restaurant, I'll try to get out there….” ::throw dog & several bags in the apt, come back to get 20 lbs of dog food & toss that up on my shoulder & take name of restaurant:: “…thank you so much for the ride!”

Then I stood on the sidewalk with Dave until Kabir drove away before I went into my apartment & found…my messages.

eventually, myself & my bed will have a joyful reunion...