Our sad little lives, your comic relief.










Maybe I'm born with it....Maybe it's Maybelline....

Or maybe the guy in the car next to me is insane....

Now, I have seen some odd shit in the last 7 months on my commute. I mean, really. Things that truly top the list. And then, there's today.

So I'm driving along 95 N - there was traffic, & I'm doin' 25, 30 mph.....this guy pulls up alongside me - mid-40s, I'm guessing Indian (dots, not feathers), but just has this slight sheen of "smarmy" about him. He's waving at me, and the first thing I think is, "Shit. Something's wrong with my car."

Roll down the window : "Yes?"
Him : "Can you tell me how to get to Boston?"
My mental dialogue - Oh, man. I am the wrong person to ask for directions...
"Um, what part are you aiming for?"

Reminder - we're still moving at 30 mph, shouting at each other over my passenger side......

Him : "I'm looking for 93 S."
"Oh! Sure, I know that one - go to exit 37A, that'll put you right on 93 S."
I roll up my window, thinkin' "Odd, but okay..." and he's still waving at me.

Roll down the window......
"Can I help you?"

Him : I just wanted to let you know - you're gorgeous!

Let's stop a minute for a mental picture here - I had summer hours today. I rolled out of bed at 5:15 so I could leave my house by 6. I had showered at the gym the night before, so my effort for haircare pretty much consisted of me grabbing an elastic & making a ponytail. I had my leetle blue sunglasses that amuse Robyn to no end on, and to top it all off, some black fly with a sadistic sense of humor had bitten me right between the eyes earlier in the week, so I had a red mark right between my eyebrows that actually makes it look like an inadvertent bhendi on my frickin' forehead. Needless to say, "Gorgeous" is not the search engine keyword that would summon up a link to my picture at that moment. Meanwhile, my brain is going, "You say that now - but you haven't seen my mac truck "child bearin' "' hips, now have you?"

Me : Um, thanks?

Him : Are you a model?

"No...sorry?"

"You should be! I know, I recruit models! You really are gorgeous! If you give me your phone number, I'd love to have you come in for a shoot sometime!"

IMPORTANT FACT TO REMEMBER : We're still moving at 35 mph here, people!

"Thanks, but no thanks!"

And he kept going.....I finally just rolled my window up & changed lanes to get away from him.....the last words I heard :

"No, really! I'm serious! I find models!"

I'll just bet you do.....

And, of course, I'm LMFAO in my car....Picked up the cell phone & said out loud, "Okay. I have to call everyone I have ever met right now..."

So I bothered Little Sister & Anya @ work, 'cause they've got 800 #s, & I didn't have SarahNicole's cell # with me so I could tell her that I'd met Massage Guy's brother......

Anya's last msg on AIM as I was writing this :
Tah Tah... don't let Cindy Crawford threaten you!

~ August, 2002