Now retail is not always a living hell. After all, I get to see the general public en masse for hours on end. That right there is always entertaining.

Some customers, for instance, are the bright part of my day. I had one family where the little girl just started crying & wouldn't stop. Nothing wrong with her, she was just tired, & being a kid - the way kids are. The father was desperately trying to calm his three month old down with this look of utter panic on his face. He looked at me and went, "You know, I always said I wouldn't be one of the parents who had 'that kid' in a store. I wasn't going to do this!"
I couldn't help it - I laughed at him. Thankfully, he took it well. His wife came & took the little girl into a corner, and as he got to the register, he was saying to his sister-in-law, "Geez, you know, someone should really take care of that noisy kid. How obnoxious is that?" The wife ended up taking the child outside (to every parent that takes the kid outside - thank you!) and the father just kept going - "Boy, I'm really glad that loud kid left, aren't you? Jeez, you know, when I was growing up, we never would have been able to get away with that...."

*laughter*

I’ve also had the fun of helping two guys who had just found out they were going to be fathers pick out the first of the clothing for the wee laddie - it was a bit of a rush, you see, since they found out the day before the baby was to be born. They just walked in and were like, "We need everything....."

Besides, as you go along, one learns that there are certain tools of the trade to make your life a little easier, especially in the childrens’ department. For instance?

Ribbon! We have ribbons for gift wrapping purposes. One day, a little girl was crying because we didn’t have the shoes she wanted in her size. I mean, this child was physically upset because we didn’t have her shoes! Snap customer today, buyer for Bloomingdale’s tomorrow. So I walked over & tied a ribbon around her wrist.

But alas, it's not, and so I venture into the hazardous world of retail like the intrepid explorer that I am. (Trans. - I'm po', & I need the paycheck every two weeks.) Which is why I offered up that handy-dandy list for you, the shoppers that we deal with help every day. Be good, be spendy, & pay my salary! Thanks!

Oh, one more thing - to Snap Corporate. While I appreciate the job, can I make a small query?

You are a multi-million dollar corporation. So could someone explain to me why the in-store music track isn't a loop longer than an hour? I mean, jeez, guys - could we have a three or four hour playlist? A couple of us are trying to pool our resources to see if we can bomb that freakin' Train everyone heard so much about in the commercials. Not only that, but listening to how JLo is keeping it real with her new rocks ‘cause she’s still Jenny from the block - yeah. That’s a song you probably don’t want to play in your store when you’re paying your employees eight bucks an hour and change if you’re trying to perpetuate a positive corporate culture. Just a tip.