We're the ones your mother warned your about...No, seriously. We are.

The Nine-Dollar Lamp...

"You need a nine dollar IKEA lamp," DarkLady declared. "Your apartment is too dark."

"Meh," sayeth I. "I'll put brighter bulbs in. shoosh."

And so I did. And it was brighter.

Yet, still, I heard the story of the nine dollar IKEA lamp, not only from DarkLady, but from others as well. It is, it would seem, a staple in most households within driving distance of an IKEA. A wonder of wonders. The best nine dollars that could be spent. A grand percentage of apartments in LA have this lamp. I tell you, it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen - like...furniture thrall or something.

It's even in movies. According to DarkLady, there's a point in Sum of All Fears when Ben Affleck is on the phone, and right behind him is...the nine dollar IKEA lamp. That not only tells you that the set designer shops at the IKEA in Burbank, but that the plot of Sum of All Fears was weak enough that DarkLady was paying attention to the furniture instead of the dialogue.

Yet, despite several trips to IKEA for other items...I managed to resist the siren song of the nine dollar lamp. In truth, much to Anya & DarkLady's dismay, there was no other lamps in my household than the ones in the celing fans. This (and my couch) were a subject that reared its ugly head every so often, and I dutifully listened to the lectures.

Last weekend, I travelled to Oh!-Canada-land, and visited Anya's domicile for the first time since she'd moved into it in October. I helped erase Lucifer's obedience training, and stole the covers from Anya when we went to bed. (I am also told that I fought epic battles in my sleep, but she says that every time one of us visits the other)

The next morning, DarkLady arrived, and upon being shown to the guest room, remarked on the fact that Anya had, in there....you guessed it. That bloody, fucking nine dollar IKEA lamp.

Once again, they agreed that I needed to invest in the lamp. Privately, I decided that at this point, there was no way I was going to pay the nine bucks for this lamp. Not because there was anything wrong with the product. Oh no. Now it was just for spite. No. Way. Not. Happening.

Tonight, I got to my apartment after work, & Steph, a neighbor that's moving back east, said she had some stuff that at this point, she was just giving away & since my brother was coming to LA in July, maybe he could use it, or I could take it.

There were practical things - a drainboard, etc. Then, Steph remarks, "and because that apartment of yours has always been dark, I figured you might be able to use this."

Oh yah.

You guessed it.

The fucking nine dollar lamp! Right after I decided I'm never buying it, the IKEA gods gave me one. For free.

Guess I'm not the only one in this case that does shit for spite.

~ Claris
June 10, 2004

~ Claris' Archive