We're the ones your mother warned your about...No, seriously. We are.








Yah. I can drive.

The valet service I work for is an all girl valet service that does private parties. We do a lot of work in Malibu, Hollywood Hills, Beverly Hills, etc. This means that I not only end up driving a good amount of really cool cars, but yes, even though I thought I'd evaded the celebs by quitting the Snap I worked at, I get to see them even more up close and personal. For some parties, we've even had the warning of "even if you don't know who they are, pretend". The problem being, of course, that people in the industry know who they are, but me, the girl that works for a vitamin company? I got no clue who you are if you haven't been up on the screen. Sorry.

July 4th. We're working an industry party, which means that the majority of the people passing are well, processed perfection, for lack of a better word. So when a guy walks up to me looking very normal in cargo shorts, a t-shirt and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and says, "I think I missed the shuttle," I didn't really take notice of him, and responded with my Customer Service Smile and "That's all right. If you don't mind waiting, there should be another one in about five minutes."

We introduce ourselves to one another and are having a perfectly nice conversation, and I say in passing, "So who is ::Party hosts' name:: anyway?"

He looks at me like I sprouted a second (and third) head. "You really don't know?"

"No, man. I don't work in entertainment. I'm a web designer during the week."

This guy laughs and responds, "Oh, that's classic! ::Party Host:: used to be the head of Sony Pictures. He was a producer on Batman and Ali."

"Oh. Right." I then look at the guy I'm talking to (who had simply introduced himself as Clark) and ask, "So then, what do you do?"

"I'm a producer."

"Well um, no offense Clark, but I don't work in entertainment and even I know everyone in this town is a producer." (thankfully, this did indeed get me a laugh.) "Have you done anything I'd actually, you know, have heard of?"

"Well, we just won an Oscar on Monster."

There was only one thing to do. I looked at him, totally deadpan and replied, "So you concentrate on small, independent features, then. That's cool."

Thank you gods he laughed and I didn't get fired!

It's like a really hard really fun puzzle - without the fun!