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Yah. I can drive.
After a while, it really is true. You stop thinking about it. You become jaded about the whole thing. I realized this the day I replied, "Nah, I've got it. It's just a Jag." Oddly enough, I meant it. I have now driven everything from a GMC Jimmy from 1983 that only had 3 gears and the owner thought it was "so fuckin' killer" that I could drive it because normally he's the only person that can get it started, (which to me is an indicator it might be time for a new ride, but hey - what do I know) to the new clutchless Maserati that's worth more than some real estate purchases in New Hampshire, and I can drive any model of Honda Civic ever. I know that a Porsche clutch is looser than a Ferrari clutch, that Land Rover has copied Saab on their new models and the ignition is in the center. Hummers are the biggest waste of pseudo metal ever, but they're all so automatic they practically drive themselves. The Mini will forever be my favorite, since you can fit 'em in any space, and I have an ongoing hatred of Cadillac and Lincoln town cars because I feel like I'm steering the QE2. There's a new feature on the BMW x5 SUV where when you go into reverse, the little TV screen that normally shows the GPS system will switch over to give you a view from the camera that they have rigged in the trunk hatch. Now that sounds really neat, but trust me when I say that messes you up the first few times. I'm seriously waiting for the day that I go to put the car in gear and a voice says, "I'm sorry, I can't do that Claris."
It's been about three and half months at this gig, and I've learned more about cars than I ever thought I'd know. And yet, there are still days when I cannot park my own Kia in a space the size of a Mac truck. How is that? I don't know. For the most part, however, I'm all good. I can drive. I can park. I can do these things with people in the car, and I've learned to live by Mapquest. These things no longer bother me, because I now know I can drive anything.
Three issues down, couple hundred others to go. Meantime, don't forget - tip the valet well, 'cause you never know. She just might be me.
Note : I've since moved to a different valet company because I was tired of having to drive all over West LA and Malibu, and now work at a hotel where I am the only female valet. That, my friends, is another story for another day...
~ Claris
June 10, 2004
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