A Series of Unfortunate Automotive Events

And west some more.

::insert more west-going here::

I called the store – yes, past La Cienega, “towards the beach”.

Dude, I'd damned sure better not be driving to the beach.

Finally, finally we spot the PepBoys. Actually, in this case, “spotted” = “noticed as we drove right past it”. Oops. But hey, that's what alleys are for, & LA's got plenty of those to cut through.

Step 1 of Plan Get My Filter Changed and Be Able to Get Home Tonight - check.
Step 2 = explain things to the PepBoys guy & then get home with dog & shopping bags. Oy.

Once we've gotten the KIA off the tow truck & I've signed the paperwork for Bobby, complete with giving him directions of how to go get his mom & her car, Bobby & his chariot of Canine Defending Righteousness rumbled out of this sorry little tale, leaving me to face the next stage of the gamut in this journey to get to my apartment, which is, at present, about three miles away. ::sob:: So close to my home & the alcohol that I'd promised myself! Yet still, so far away! Yes, readers, I am indeed at this moment the literal embodiment a bad Hall & Oats' comeback attempt.

Enter Adrian, the service manager. ::insert support group chorus here:: Hi Adrian! Adrian listens to my explanation, & decides the best thing to do would be to get my car into a parking spot. Indeed, I agree. He grabs another guy, & they point to this one spot that's at roughly a total right angle from my car.

::what's going on in Claris' mind::
Okay, guys? You have to push the car. There's no way you're getting into that space without backing it up, which would mean pushing it two ways, and be way more of a pain in the ass. Two spaces down in the same direction my car is already pointed is a way easier spot to get into. Trust me I actually can say I do this professionally.

::what Claris actually said ::
"Um, maybe it would be easier to put it next to that Range Rover? Less turning, anyway."

“Hey, good call...”

Since it's by now 7pm at night, Adrian gets out his flashlight & starts looking at my car. (yes, smartass, we lifted the hood, then looked at the car. Shoosh you with the literalness) Adrian listened to my explanation, & then went, "Well, I think we need to do a NoStart Diagnostic on the car before we do anything, and that'll cost you $80 right there…'cause I have to have my guys check everything to make sure. Do you know anything about the car's recent maintenance?"

"...Well, I put the battery in about six hours ago, although the terminals for the cables need to be replaced, so I might as well just have you guys do that while it's here. The fuses are there, although the 80 amp won't come out, but the indicator looks good, so it's unlikely that it blew. The starter is good, 'cause it just came from the mechanic this morning, I have a small oil leak I'd like you guys to estimate fixing for me, the fuel pump is feeding 'cause it clicks when you turn the key, and the engine is good to go because I had the heads re-machined about eight months ago. Is there anything in there that's not covered in your diagnostic thingy?"

::silence::

"So. Replace the terminals, huh?"

"Yeah, they're all worn & kind of corroded. And that's after I put baking soda & water on it, so it's really time."

"….okay then. Sounds like you did everything right. Why don't we try putting a new fuel filter in, & then if it still doesn't work, we'll discuss the diagnostic."

"That sounds spiffy. Now, the other PepBoys told me that you guys could give me a ride home. That true?"

NO! No, no it's not true! ...oh fuck.

Yeah, hey guess what - other PepBoys have white pickup trucks that they also use to give their customers rides home, but this one...not so with the much. Great.

I would say it could only get worse, but it's me, so it can only get weirder...