So thanks to the United States Air Force, my brother FlyBoy will be joining me out here in sunny California as of July 20th. (I moved three thousand miles, so my family decided to follow me. Can't anyone be original? *grin*) He's going to crash on my couch probably for the first month, month & a half until he figures out where he wants to live & with who (if anyone) he wants to live with. Personally, I have no problem with this - one more dogwalker!

Towards that end, I was talking to my mother last Sunday & had a conversation wherein I was informed it's my job to "establish rules" for my brother while he's here in my place, because "he's not in the townhouses at Daniel Webster anymore". Right. I didn't know this, but it would seem that FlyBoy & I are like, 12, & if left to our own devices will create a two person society based around that of "Lord of the Flies".
Trust me, I will not be Piggy.

In response to this, Amaranth had the following idea:

I think you should come up with a list of "rules" for him and send them to Mom. Type it up, both of you sign it and send it to her. *evil grin*
You know like:

"No Prostitutes in the house unless the proper arrangements have been made."

"Kegs are only allowed on premises between the hours of 12am-12pm on days that end in "Y".

Robyn was then kind enough to help to expand it a little...

"Any animals brought on premises for sexual purposes must have proof of up-to-date rabies vaccinations."

"Alcohol intake is limited to 1/3 of your body weight."
("per day!" according to Closet Buffyholic)

"Laundry will be done on the first day of every seventh month."

Which brought about this Group Activity - The Rules of the Abode What would YOU add to this list to aid the children of my family in properly horrifying my mom? Piercings? Tattoos? Ritual sacrifice of one of the many aspiring celebrities in LA? Let's hear it. You've got until midnight Pacific Time on July 14th to contribute to the utter, shambling chaos that my brother & I shall live in while he stays with me. Just mail stuff over to claris@nodignity.com with your name so you can have proper credit to add to my mom's horror, and we'll see you at the next update!

~ Claris
July 1, 2004