We're the ones your mother warned your about...No, seriously. We are.

Single! Siiiingle!

Note from author :
I was cleaning the incriminating evidence of my slacker behavior off the hard drive of my work computer and I found this rant I wrote a couple of years ago. The context is now wrong (it's no longer tax season, for one thing), but some of the bitterness remains.

Hello? Revenue Canada? I'd like to know more about making deductions for a dependant. She's a minor, she's unemployed, oh, and she's got fur.... Hello...?


As usual, I've waited until practically the last minute to do my taxes. My excuses are extreme laziness and finely honed procrastination skills. So here I sit, on the weekend before my return is due, dutifully going through all the various forms, and it occurs to me that I should be able to claim my cat as a dependant: I'm responsible for her; she doesn't work; she behaves very much like a two-year old; and she's not cheap to have around. Food (low-allergen), kitty litter, toys, and vet bills -- it all adds up. And I rescued her from a shelter when she was six months old. The super cute kitten stage was over, and she was, as a result of neglect, poorly socialized. She was the equivalent of a hard-to-place foster child. She was the Anne of Green Gables of the feline world. There should be a tax exemption for providing a loving home for her and relieving society of the burden of her care.

It's unreasonable to suppose that a government that penalizes stay-at-home parents might consider expanding the definition of dependant. I hardly expect them to acknowledge the important role my cat plays in keeping me a sane and productive member of society. And the ridiculous amount I pay in taxes every year doesn't really bother me all that much. I live in a pretty damn fine country -- I'm willing to pay a little for the privilege. No, in truth, my bitterness has little to do with how much of my tax dollars goes to reprinting letterhead and redecorating offices every time there's a cabinet shuffle.

So what's got me so annoyed? I'm glad you asked. It's that doing my taxes reminds me of my crappy financial situation. I have a fairly decent job. Things shouldn't be this bleak.

Why don't I have any money?
Imprudent holidays and unwise impulse buys haven't helped my situation, but I'm not a shopaholic. No, my big economic disadvantage is being a Singleton. As if that isn't annoying enough on its own (in my opinion; I realize many people prefer to be single -- go you), as a Singleton, you get hosed on almost everything. The world is simply not set up to accommodate single people. I resent the fact that my living expenses are higher than they are for a person in a two-person, two-income household. And I don't want a roommate so don't even suggest it. Then there's that delightful thing called a single supplement. Yes, I'm going on vacation ON MY OWN. I hardly think it fair that I have to pay more because of that. The room is paid for. Does it matter how many people are sleeping in it? Why should it cost more if it's just one person? I fail to see the logic.

Our whole culture is geared toward couples and families. You can't escape it. Holidays? Depressing. Valentine's Day is evil. And if I have to attend one more Christmas function where I'm the only single person under the age of 85 I won't be responsible for the amount of alcohol that I consume. Except that I won't be consuming alcohol because I'm my own designated driver.

Now we bring in the ski lift & it's all better...