|Our sad little lives, your comic relief.|
Those ants that were bothering me?
Vodka? So, Seksa is going to get the ants drunk and then kill them? How? By getting them behind the wheels of their
leetle ant cars and then letting them crash into each other on the road?
Narrator: But then could Seska be held liable for any damage caused because she served alcohol to ants to the
point where they became inebriated and allowed them to drive from (or in) her home? and what about underaged ants?
Um, excuse me. My house has been infested. I am the victim here. Getting the ants drunk and then killing them is
a matter of self-defence. Plus, they're eating my sugar. They must die.
Adri -- Oh absolutely. Seska has major dram shop liability exposure. Plus, if any of the ants, well, take advantage of
the other, more inebriated ants ....
*Adri re-enters Camp in a suit with high heels and a brief case* *ahem*
Adri -- Tut, tut. That argument does not work -- homeowners/renters cannot set up electric-shock devises or shotguns to automatically shoot intruders. Neither can Seska indiscriminately get a whole mess of ants drunk on vodka. At a minimum, she's going to need to start checking IDs. - Narrator
Adri, NarrAtor, Seskiea: Now probably isn't a great time to mention the Tony Martin case in the UK, whereupon a man was jailed for shooting
dead a youth that broke into his farmhouse then?
Narrator: Your allegation that my client "indiscriminately [got] a whole mess of ants drunk on vodka" is incorrect. The vodka was purchased by my client with the intent that my client be the consumer of said vodka. Of course, my client's consumption would have been in a responsible, law abiding manner. If any of my client's vodka was consumed by the ants, then the ants stole said vodka and consumed it without the consent of my client. Further, it is entirely possible, given the pattern of behavior of these ants, that they stole and consumed alcohol from other places and that their drunken state was not the result of their illicit consumption of my client's alcohol but in fact some one else's alcohol. My client categorically denies setting up any device to automatically shoot ants with alcohol.
Rachie: Shhhh! *bap*
Rachie Oh for goodness sake. These are ants.
Adri - -So, you are claiming that a bunch of ants somehow lifted up a whole bottle of vodka, tipped it over, unscrewed the top, and then
poured it out? Pshaw!!
Narrator: My client has no knowledge of how the ants managed to consume the vodka. This is consistent with my client's statement that
the ants illegally entered her home and that if the ants did consume my client's vodka then the ants stole said vodka. My client did not serve
the subject vodka to the ants nor did she shoot the ants with an automatic device nor did she in any way force the ants to consume vodka.
Adri This is my house. Sometimes vodka is left around in... all sorts of places.
bapbapbapbapbapbapbapbaps Seska *ahem* Seska, no offering more info than absolutely necessary and NEVER without checking with your law
AHA Adri - Your client undercuts your
Narrator, Adri -
Well, this morning the majority of the ants appear to be dead. Dead dead dead dead dead. Woo. Ha, lawgeeks - you're too late. :-P
And then, by some wacky event, it all was my fault? I'm still not sure how...
I have read the latest quote list at nodignity.com and am so outraged I may begin boycotting the site!! (Also, I am spending too much time
there, but that's another story.) Sure Seska's comment about feeding vodka to her ants was included, but where are the witty follow-up
comments from me, Adri, et al? Nowhere to be seen! I was funny dammit!
Narrator Looks like I'm just funnier than you.
Cosmic Bob -- O-o-o-o good idea: Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. (Punitive damages, ahoy!!!) But, I don't think
Claris has any money to speak of. And it's all about the Benjamins, you know.
Narrator : Funny you should ask (shoulda known it'd be you lawyer-types causin' trouble.)
Narrator : No, sadly, no monies to speak of. But I have a dog that's worth about $1200 (for some ungodly reason - I sure as
hell didn't pay that much for her) She's a little hyper, but I'll let you keep her for a bit in trade, if you like - you can have Coco
over & she & Zoey could have playdates in your house! It'd be great!
Claris -- So, you actually refused to wait for my witty comments before you uploaded the update? Goober.
Narrator : Ya know, it's a good thing you don't actually exist, of I'd be forced to make a comment about how you're being difficult.
Claris -- Well, at least I'm not in here claiming that "my
Narrator : *snort* Hey, my upload wasn't premature - you just took too long to be witty. Not my fault.....Robyn used to have a song that described Bastion's e-mail turnaround which I think would be applicable here - "If I only had a response time..."**Which leads us to one of my favorite Robyn statments ever (or a paraphrase of it) - "I'm sure that Bastion's response will come in its usual timely manner - right after I have been crowned Empress of the World...."
Claris -- I'm sticking by my story. You prematurely .... uploaded. Maybe there's some medicine for that. If so, Bob Dole is likely
Narrator : I don't think so. My upload has a considerable ability to endure as long as needed for my purposes...just 'cause you were
lolly-gaggin' around with the witticisms isn't my fault - but speaking of medicine, as the webmaster at my company, I get all sorts of
interesting offers for free prescription drugs that might help your issue - perhaps you'd like me to pass them on?
Claris -- Seska posted on August 11 at 13:55. I posted 15:40. That's only like, 105 minutes later. If you can't keep your uploading ... up that
long, your upload isn't giving you the endurance you seem to need. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Whoa. Claris needs Viagra.
Narrator : My upload was up for a while before that - Seska's post was a quick add on at the culmination of the party. Just because you,
erm, arrived late - well, hey, that's no my fault, now is it? Next time, show earlier, and you might enjoy the fun longer!
Claris -- I arrived right on time. Also, if Xanderella took Photo Xander, he's probably unlatched the back door of her house computer and
is running around the neighborhood internet by now.
Narrator : Nah, he's not running away. Xanderella's got the big pleading eyes & the cop-convincing cleavage, remember?
Claris -- Gee, I cannot image who was late to upload, since I was on time. Of course, you were early, so your avatar would have Xander
in grade school. perv.
Narrator : psh. please. If anything, I was merely prepared for the challenge when it arose, unlike you, who couldn't think of any fun
diversions until I had already completed the task.
From there it just went to a bad place involving a vat of mud & Jell-O wrestling, so I'm stopping now...
~ August 11- 13, 2003
|~ Madness of the Past....|