|
| Our sad little lives, your comic relief. |
 |
|||||
|  |  |  | |  |
          
|
|
updated 04/15/03 I want to see the new quotes! Work on nodignity! where is my damn spinster card! i sent in that application months ago! If the Beta ate itself due to Meteor, then it's bound to be sick sooner or later. Loward help us if it barfs it back up again. *g* If he's going to insult me, he could at least call me a bitch or something and be accurate. Aw, isn't it so adorable to see incompetent people in managorial positions? Just daaaaaaaaaarling. (she should be eaten by wild dogs.) So Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon can emperil the U.S. Armed Forces by flashing peace signs? Wow. They've got more power in their fingers than Mork from Ork Wow. That Connor kid sure is going to need therapy. Or they could just kill him. Plus, you are an asshole. Also? You are wrong. Man, is it election time yet? Fuck. thats for me to know and you to cower in terror waiting for the day the ninja princess comes for you!!! She's been sitting next to me since 9:30 this morning. Chomping on gum. And sniffling loudly. I just want to throw a box of tissues at her head. But I'm afraid she wouldn't feel it, and it would just bounce off. I mean, even American Samoa doesn't observe daylight savings time! A couple hundred thousand American Samoans can't be wrong! You're going to be an aunt. Opening Night Part II went very well ... Except for that part where I fell off the piano ... Which, hey, the audience enjoyed. Again, I say, we don't save no stinkin' daylight here! Huh, that sounded funnier in my head but then the acoustics are better in there. How the hell do you teach a cat self defense? I wonder if I would die of malnutrition of I lived on string cheese and diet sprite. What the hell did he think being a marine was? Games on the beach? Like a big huge capture the flag game? Buffy's ending with no new series spin-off in the works. Mr. Rogers is dead. Scrolling. 13 pages to go and am I actually writing them? no I'm prattling on about my ninja princess ex-wife and my Jennifer Garner. I guess I'll just fail, but at least I'll have my Jenny G to console me and terwilliger will have nothing!!! People in my field can become the biggest pretentious pieces of crap and I think all this is a reflection of that. But I'm not bitter! Not me! I've sent you enough drunken babble to fill a whole column? Wow. I totally don't remember doing that. But then, I guess that's sort of the point. Allyson needs to piss off other boards more often. Allyson I see you too have been accused of spewing vitriol! Welcome to the club! Now if only people would actually look up the definition and stopped tossing the word around indiscriminately. DarkLady - Welcome to this den of troublemakers, eggers-on and provocateurs! Have a cruller. Academia was created to drive me, specifically, insane. You broke the company? Other people just break boards... Also, what's up with this forum? It's a bit fucked, innit? it's a new day Alright, back to being myself and my coworker. Which is oddly exhilerating - I am basically THE publications department now. Will try no to go mad, mad with my moderate amount of power. I've said it before, I'll say it again. The best slash pairing was, is, and always will be: Okay, can someone explain to me why this whole debaucle in the Middle East seems a lot more dignified when I hear the British press conferences? Is it the accent? Or maybe the fact that they have no once used "Axis of Evil" or "weapons of mass destruction" in their briefings? I dunno. Actual Post : whee! I love quoting cases that are older than dirt. It makes my little historygeeker heart happy. In other news, "Shots and Awe" is the best name for a party ever. The way the new office is going to be set up, I can do puppet shows over the wall of the cubical. EXCELLENT. The military is using trained monkeys. Oh, I don't think my brain can stop long enough for me to write all the snark down. And, for myself, I'm stapling two pieces of paper together, fifty times. Ooh, the challenging fun. For this, I'm paid $20/hr (based on a 40hr/wk breakdown). Go and figure. Uh huh. Because my goal is to earn $25/hr. So, obviously I need to cut back on my work-week to achieve that end. ack. i'm rambling. can't help it. i think i need less caffeine. or more caffeine. or more sex. (well, definitely more sex.) oh, i know! chocolate! vending machine, here i come. If you watch TV long enough, you'll learn everything.... Yes. Not only do we promote adult skin-mags, we're pushing drugs now. After further reading the fall out from the latest "state of the beta" address, it seems to me that the whole thing could have been avoided if someone had picked up my gun and continued to shoot offenders. 1st post.... i spent some time up against the wall at recess as a child. i have no regrets. See? If you would just come and be my TA/RA, things like this wouldn't happen. *smooch* ;-) yet another reason I shouldn't be allowed to wander in public unfettered.... I want to work with someone not so incompetant. Is that so wrong? Wow. This wasn't meant to be a Boys! Boys! Boys! (which is slightly different from Live! Nude! Boys! *snicker*) post, but lookee there, it is. boromir Iíll tell you the same thing I tell my users who complain about their keyboards clicking. Come in early. Try out all the other keyboards in the office. Find one you like. Take it. Tell no one. Yes. But people LIKE you. Only freaks like me. *pause* Never mind. And I just realized something from my last e - I warned you ahead of time re : the fact that there's going to be a big snake in my apt. the weekend of the PBP, right? 'cause I was just gonna leave it in the bathroom & let you, ya know, find it, but Anya said that's not allowed. Anyway, there's life the universe and everything. I need to go buy a tongue ring in 3 minutes. Blah. Oh and my film professor wants us to bring snacks to class to share. One part of my brain thinks "What is this, 5th grade?" One part thinks I'm going to fucking OWN these people if I just make a couple batches of brownies. Damn straight I'm a needy wench. I work with idjits, remember? I need adult conversation just to get through the day without snapping and going homicidal. Besides, how else can I abuse company time? WEEP HOT TEARS OF JOY Tah. Going home now! And have fun with your biblical purity. (Pure. By only the FAINTEST of definitions of it.) She corrected her files to it, and suggests I smack you upside the head. I am a mail merge GOD! You know, I was tired when I started today. Now I'm just irritable. I hope I'm not having a nervous breakdown or something. That would suck. Plus, I don't have time for it. You know, sometimes I don't like being in a relationship because it means I meet less guys. I was sitting on the floor because Godeater wanted me to try a few different things. But that was on a bed, so I don't think that counts. Do that! They're really funny when they're annoyed and have an erection! I'm not even having sex with you and it irked ME! Long and short: I shouldn't be responsible for others. Eventually they will fuck up and I'll kill them in response. That's a waste of a perfectly good (renewable) resource and should not be encouraged. And yeah, I'd send you a gift card, cept-you know how that works for me. I send a gift card, UPS "loses it", which really means some driver decorated his bathroom last week on MY credit. Dick. Whoever he is. I came to work to relax, it's not working. So, I'm meeting with Chrissy at 6:30 and having a beer. That should relax me. That and scheming to make her world a better place. I always like sticking things to The Man. Allyson : Becker, do you have to leave? Although in retrospect, mom might've been putting something in the hot chocolate. In Alias news, there are spoilers. But I figure I'll just make you watch the show. I've got a freaky rash across my face and neck. Dammit, swf is out today, or she would have had flesh eating virus by 5pm. I've decided that "Gangs of New York" is just like "Newsies". But on crack.
Anya: Wow. I think I just scared myself. I self-commented with a "Gosh" What the fuck is that? "Gosh". It's so... hillbilly. I feel the need to go check myself into the hospital now. Tomorrow is work. Or another day. I must remember to ask Scarlett which one. I feel somewhat deprived that no one ever comes up to ME in public and asks me if I'm a dominant or a submissive. (Oh sure, there was that one time I dressed up as a dominatrix for halloween for that party in Vegas and they wouldn't let me in the hotel because they thought I was with the sex fetishists convention in the next ballroom. But that doesn't really count, does it?) I'm not sure I want to live in a world where "Kangaroo Jack" is the number one movie in the country. I'd like to apologize to the entire nation of Australia... And my day goes from zero to shitty in sixty seconds! A new track record! Insomnia's a bitch.
I'm not shocked.
my brother is trying to convince me to send him my visa number so he can order me a new computer. the question is: how do I know he's not some kind of elaborate con artist? I mean, he's always SAID he was my brother, but I wasn't there when he was born. I know, I know. I'm sick. I need help. Also, if we can't say "earworm" over and over or suggest Arvin Sloane have nekkid fun with (non-Syd) people, how are we supposed to have any fun? Mr Whyt missed the PBP this year.... Okay. It SOUNDS like a good temp job, but they might be drug dealers. You never know. The gift of cleavage. It keeps on giving, ya know ;) Yes, that was all very boring, but now I think I have it straight in my head. Gangs of New York made me want to run into the street with a club and kill everything. I mean that in a good way. Your radiance and joy fills me brightly. I feel the peace descending on the world, and the ecstasy of your contented happiness bringing fulfillment and hope into my own world. Or, y'know, glad its you feeling bitchier than me And I'd say uncontrollable laser-vision would be a "vision problem". i try so hard to be long and rambly, and the best i can accomplish is two and a half screens. i wonder if godeater offers lessons. (Heeee... I'm a golf freak! ME!) I have a habbit of getting drunk and agreeing to rather rash New Years resolutions... as seen by the fact that by the end of the first week of Januarys throughout the years, I've ended up in Germany, Beruit, Lebanon, and came very close to going to Australia one year.... To be on the safe side, I've hidden my passport Ya know, some of us just got to work. Feigned stupidity doesn't work this early. Homey don't play that. i think i'm going blind. plus my mouse finger hurts. plus i'm sure everyone in my vicinity knows by now that i've been playing a game for the past 30 minutes, based solely on the sound of my rapidly clicking mouse. I don't want to go to work. ::whine:: I want to be a princess! And have people wait on me! And and bring me breakfast in bed! And clean my apartment! And play with my doggies so they don't eat my breakfast! And I could just hibernate until spring. whee! No idea when I'm going back to OH. I miss my bed a great deal, but all the food is here. It's a quandary. The boss is gone! yo, I'm gonna join the cult of Vanessa and yea, verily we will picket Victoria Secret and tell them they're snooty and mean. Also that they're gonna be out of business, because bras are on the way out, I tell you! oooout! I have nearly perfected the simple yet classic snow removal technique I like to call "one shovelful at a time." only another hour's worth to go! I keep getting hungry and have to come in for snacks. I have no protein in the house, just fruits and vegetables and Lindt balls. It's not a weird diet, I just haven't been shopping. If I can't stop you all, at least I can oversee things to keep it tame. am I a bad person if I hope my boss is still out sick? Howcome all gay men are wittier than I am? i'm wearing a tom jones t-shirt. am pretty sure being unemployed is making me a crazy. I know how much the internet and everyone on it have missed my free-associative babble and occasional intoxicated tomfoolery. well lord knows that if i was going to bust a cap in someone's ass, hizzah, i'd make sure it was untraceable. That's right, folks, the sadistic evil dentist actually moonlights as the daytime bartender at senor froggys. Let's give his overachieving, sadistic ass a hand! I'm toodling off to bed. Stay out of trouble, sunshine! (Or, you know, find some trouble. Real trouble, not the cat.)
Sam: Yeah. The space program is pretty much the one issue that me and Bush are sympatico on, so... In other news, I will never, ever, ever have any money, ever again. Diplomatic response : ok, it's just creepy that I can't tell if my gold fish is dead or not *laughter* on the other hand, new developments have made me decide I love Polgara to no end at the moment. If she were a man, I'd have to fuck her senseless to show my gratitude
KitCat: AHAHAHH Whoo!! Even the dead horses don't stay dead on this show! Whoo! Claris is a whore? See thats what LA does to nice, sweet, innocent young girls. Which is why I must move there immediately. Gosh, I just adore writing essays on the comparative coherence and cohesion of company memos. I wish that I had enough to occupy me until the sun kissed the morning sky. preemptive Up Yours Mr. Whyt Man, I wish I had a good excuse for still being awake, like you guys. Don't, though. Stupid piece of the brain that controls the sleep wake cycle that I forget the name of because I am always fried because I never sleep because [begin infinite regress]. edited because my typing doesn't resemble our earth language.
Sam: Hey. You're a professional web designer. Did you think Cassienewton.com was as hideously ugly as I did? Headache gone. I would like to formally thank "Caramilk", "Advil" and "Poland Springs" for their assistance in alleviating my pain.
Claris : and did the fact that you might be asked to write things a lot occur to you when you chose Comminications as your major? I'm just asking. This stream of consciousness is brought to you by several doughnuts and the resulting sugar high. I'm sure I'll be cranky as fuck by lunchtime :)
Claris: BTW - I was also wondering if you'd like to contrib with a "Weird-ass site of the week" column.
I'd forgotten all about the flying butt monkeys until I got to that part of the story. I cannot concentrate to save my LIFE. Fortunately, so far, my life has been in relatively little peril, so we're okay Okay, now I have to bitch about something: What the hell is UP with the licensing of motor vehicles in Illinois? I want to see Whedon and Abrams collaborate on a series. They could really just lay down all pretenses and title it "We're Going To Fuck With You, The Viewer" "Also, remember, he's a guy. We're not really sure what goes on in their heads. Research is being done, but it's slow going." So, essentially, go find God. He misses you terribly. still, it was pretty funny, especially as we didn't die. Because it certainly never would have crossed their minds before that they might lose their loved one in a tragic C4 saran wrap incident.
Claris:: OH NO! I SAW DATA TODAY! FROM STAR TREK! But come on, Vaughn. You have a counter, USE IT. Oh, and for some reason, I keep getting greeted with extreme joy when I show up at either job. Today, at the office, I was told I'm a godsend two times, & last night at Snap, I heard, "Oh you're here! Thank god!" from three different people. I finally said to my manager S., "S., I'm a Snap employee, not the Messiah." I'm doing homework! Not bondage!
Claris:: I'm going to KMart.com right now... |
 |