|Our sad little lives, your comic relief.|
Sent Little Sister an e-mail w/ a ba dump-ching! innuendo in it....
Oh, god, I saw that before you even added the second line. I'm reaching Claris levels!!!! AArrrrgghhh!
Claris: I'm back! That was an easy fix, thank the powers...
Basically what everyone else has said, he's a gobshite motherfucking cunt who shouldn't impact on your thought processes at all. Ignore the smudge.
So I just got an e-mail at hotmail entitled "Seska! Give your woman a life-changing orgasm!!" Thanks, hotmail. I've been wanting to find out just how to do that. Ya weirdos.
I am not evil. I am misunderstood.
I'm always out of context.
You know, just last night my mother was giving me an extremely instructive lecture concerning intimate relations. Just when she was getting onto the topic of lubricants, I couldn't help thinking, "Gee, if only Claris was here now."
Either I'm on the phone, at the photocopier or murdering my darling boss.
Leather Jacket: You're the only person I know that when he sees policemen on the street says "woo hoo, I gots to get me a piece of that action." hee.
I'm forever going to be known as a goat tormentor, aren't I? *g*
Claris: What kinda love am I supposed to be giving here?
am tired. and kinda bored. I am plotting. I am sure someone can help me with this.
chiquens howdy do! it seems like just yesterday I was attempting to get your lip marks offn my breast.
I think I will have sex all weekend. Yes, I think I shall.
Tell them "Jack Lord in a Catsuit, can't you tell I'm busy?" and then they will go away confused by what you just said. Always send 'em away confused, I say.
Claris: see, the only one I dont' have is FileMaker Pro.
I would love to buy a bed frame because, well, I feel the need to tie someone to it
The ho-hos in the vending machine are calling my name. But I will prevail and insist my name is Martha.
Good solid employees are potentially lost when their skills and acumen are not recognized and utilized appropriately. It is my belief that I am best suited for the role of: God/dess. To which I strive for in the end.
RTBS : Enh, rules were made to be broken (except those written by local, state or federal authorities).
Are we bad people for gaining amusment from the downtrodden? Perhaps. But we're a cheerful bunch of bad people.:)
*stomp* First my parents don't let me have a chem set, and now YOU won't let me blow things up? You're no fun!
HEG: Gotta go back to work now...later!
Oh and traumatizing newbies? I thought we just ripped their hearts out and ate them in front of other newbies as a warning?
if you start another email with "sorry", i'm flushing every ounce of beer in my fridge and you'll have to buy your own.
Anya: Ah... I'
Last year I had a similar problem, but then they decided I wasn't a criminal - just British
And *smooch* thanks! To quote Britney (something I would normally never do) "Eye wub my Ruffy!"
and how did we get from nutritional breakfast shake to alcoholic drinks?
Claris: hey bitch. what's shakin'?
I can't wait to move back to Astoria, where they treat everyone like criminals. Or something.
Xanderella: I got what looks like a virus/worm e-mail that looks like it's from Bastion (something about his wanting me to try his "excite game"). Yay for hotmail virus screen.
Anya: Sadly, I spent $25 on a book of resumes. And I didn't even open it. Hrm. I still have the receipt.
Anya: Now, to burn artwork to CD.
Catriona - Now all you need is a pony. I'm glad things are better, or at least less murderous.
Claris: You do Trixe Beldin fic? *g*
NSync bedding is all right, but Nancy Drew lesbian scenarios is wrong? What kind of twisted morality do you have?
So, to sum . . .
All I've got to say is y'all're scary...
"I could ban you, but instead I'm going to let Allyson go."
Claris: I'm bored...whatcha doin'?
la la la. I'm losing it. I'm just hiding it well. I think.
Claris: you're talking to Anya, aren't you? I don't trust either of you, I jsut want to make that clear right now!
his business card title reads the following: "Wow-ist. Image-Maker. Corporate Kid. Cookie Lover." My god. I could puke
They almost never let you play beer pong at Wal-Mart.
Goodness. I can't come to the board for a week or so and you've all gone crazy.
Michael Vartan--whose character, CIA Agent Vaughn, found himself in peril in the season finale of ABC's Alias--revealed to SCI FI Wire spoilers about Vaughn's fate in that flooded corridor. "Let's just say I have a very powerful breaststroke," Vaughn said in an interview, without disclosing details about his character's future.
Anya: Ciao babe!
Posting while drunk. You have been warned. They are playing Ali G and I am so not interested, so. I repeat, you have been warned.
Ok. What's 'Martini Racing'?
Oh yeah, I'm a fucking princess damn it!
I'm amazed she isn't an alcoholic yet. After all, she works surrounded by men.
and now i've reached my fluffy bunny quotient for the day- what can i make fun of? hmmm....
of course, at the time it seemed a bad idea to bring up the handcuffed waiters.
Anya: My stores are amazing, god bless them...
Life sucks and I want the T-shirt!!
PDR - I read it wrong for a second and thought you were in a state of Catriona. Her parents might have a problem with that.
Ok, go ahead and tell me how culturally insensitive i am, but there reaches a point, when you have been working in a canned air building with no ventilation, that you must BEAT THE SHIT out of the team of Russians that REFUSE to bathe.
The angel on my left shoulder is telling me to tone down one little snarky comment, but the devil on my right shoulder just knocked the angel unconscious, or perhaps dead.
Nope. I have a virgin book to read. No, it's not about virgins. I know people who qualify, I don't have to read about 'em. It's a book with it's spine uncracked. *blink* Kinda like those virgins.
Note to self: The weirdly religious are weird.
OK, this place is even scarier than psychologist mothers. I'm going back to bed.
Of course, if Narrator told me to jump off a bridge, I'd probably do it. Not because she told me though... just to piss my mom off.
Oh, see, Anya? Yes. I just lay low around her....I'm like, "Respect, respect"...she can kill me, ya know.
sure, you just took a little while to respond, and I thought "oh my god. I offended Claris?!"
Narrator I don't know if I'd use the word "wuss" precisely, but you know, if the skeerdy-cat fits, buy it a litter box. Or something.
I just got a fifth at the bater. Narrator, you have experience with this, what happens now?
this is getting morbid. which means I should probably cc Claris in.
Robyn: Feast your quoting eyes on this:
*lol* Few whores act as their own pimp. You're talented
Robyn: *g* Life is filled with so many amusing possibilities when you're friends with Bronzers.
Claris: Way to pack.
Hypothetical conversation about something......from Anya's twisted mind...edited for content in one place.
"I'm not going down that road again", says Claris. "No more
I'm beginning to think that a film called "A very boring film, wherein Michael Vartan goes to the hardware store and returns a hammer, because the handle grip isn't quite right." would still drive ticket sales.
Ah, he was just really smug to Narrator. I'm going to pop some corn and watch this unfold.
I flunked the ass kissing section of orientation. Do I really need to snort in derision, or is it understood?
Hee. My imaginary boyfriend in my head is so cute sometimes.
Liking curves is good! Of course, these are prolly Hollywood curves, which means, you know, speed bumps.
Anya: BTW... I think I'm horrified.
Anyway, what's new? I'm given to understand that apparently there's a show on the air called "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"? Is this thing any good, or what?
I personally like Barry Manilow. Howver, we all have observed the fact that I am insane. So that's not really saying anything new.
..going book shopping with that man is like going clothes shopping with a gay man. Just when you think you've seen it all, he goes, "no! Wait! I know another store!"
Anya: *yawn* Okay, babe, as much as I'd *love* to stay online for hours tonight... I'm gonna finish answer stupid emails "I've never seen the word fanfic before today. What does it mean?" and then go fall into bed. I may not even bother getting changed.
Why can't I say things like, "Basically, it breaks down to this: When a legion of bright, educated people from diverse backgrounds, worldwide, all consider you to be a drooling moron, maybe it's time to rethink your argument."
Don't suppose you'll plead migraine so's you can bail early? Just cause we deserve to see your loverly face much more than that company does.
Anya: Whatcha doing?
It's sarcasm and mockery people. If you are that fragile and can't take it, go post at the 7th Heaven board.
You know what this is? It's flirtation! You're FLIRTING with him! You big slut!
chiquens : This amuses me. I have Spongebob Squarepants fruit snacks on my desk
You seem a bit confused on what constitutes a personal remark. Allow me to assist you.
What else can a good daughter do? A child SHOULD support her mother when she's expiating the guilt riddled on her soul." Ricki's on Sunday? Drive out in the morning to go buy schtuff. Okay Mum. If YOU say so!"
It's not as though I was gonna sleep anyway, I might as well help enrage fans & posters.....
One of these days my karma is going to end and I'm going to end up living next door to a serial killer, but hey. So far, so good.
And with that confirmation, can we just have it stated that the amount of useless shit I know off the top of my head frightens me?
Claris: stop multitaskign & pay attention to me dammit! Did yo ulearn nothing from the pics from Vegas last year? I'm a fucking princess!
I'm so touched that when you think of Lucifer, you think of me....
The job is nice and easy, some of the people are strange and deserving of a fatal beating. On the whole tho, good stuff.
Anya: Btw, I was reviewing your quote page, while waiting for the colour copier to finish printing. I've decided I'm not so pissy with you. You have a fewer percentage of quotations from me than say, Karen or Keri do. So, I can cut you some slack.
Oh no, that wasn't modelling the lingerie. That was for the prelude to porn.
And I am NOT in any way, shape or form suggesting you make dates with guys in the car next to you; just saying Methuselah had taste!
Hmpfh! I just get propositioned by pimps and drug dealers. You get actual job offers!
DreamLurker: yeah, keep talking, SUPERMODEL
Narrator I dont know about metaphorically speaking but I think you're trying to stir up trouble against Vanessa and I'm shocked and outraged. MrWhyt -- You WANT a dead pony? Is this some new Monty Python skit? Or do you have issues that really require counseling? Narrator The Nessa giveth and the Nessa taketh away, so I'm sure should could take it from you and render it onto me in a lively state. MrWhyt -- Brown nose. Narrator rebel scum MrWhyt -- Suck up. Mr. Whyt :How exactly does one take care of a dead pony anyway? Would you get it stuffed and hang it on your wall? Vanessa I'm sure you could revive the pony if you wanted too, otherwise just give me its head. I know someone who needs to wake up with it in bed with them *cough*narrator*cough* MrWhyt -- Toe-the-liner! I think we should all get little ponies... Then we can spank them. Narrator She who colors outside of the lines MrWhyt -- You post about getting head and a horse and you claim that I color outside the lines? Mwahahahahaha!!!! Narrator Anti-Nessaist MrWhyt: Uh, you're talking about pony heads and I'm the freak? Mr Whyt: I'm not chopping any head off any horse for you. I'm willing to do a lot for you guys, but there's just some things I won't do. Mutilating dead horses is where I draw the line. Look all i want to do is recreate a classic scene from The Godfather and you people look a tme like I'm advocating the beheading of all the ponies when really its just one and thats plan B if Vanessa cant/wont bring it back to life. Mr Whyt: Sure, that's what you say. But could you really stop at one? You know, that pony is going to start to stink, soon. Shouldn't it be sent to the glue factory? I
Narrator I dont know about metaphorically speaking but I think you're trying to stir up trouble against Vanessa and I'm shocked and outraged.
MrWhyt -- You WANT a dead pony? Is this some new Monty Python skit? Or do you have issues that really require counseling?
Narrator The Nessa giveth and the Nessa taketh away, so I'm sure should could take it from you and render it onto me in a lively state.
MrWhyt -- Brown nose.
Narrator rebel scum
MrWhyt -- Suck up.
Mr. Whyt :How exactly does one take care of a dead pony anyway? Would you get it stuffed and hang it on your wall?
Vanessa I'm sure you could revive the pony if you wanted too, otherwise just give me its head. I know someone who needs to wake up with it in bed with them *cough*narrator*cough*
MrWhyt -- Toe-the-liner!
I think we should all get little ponies... Then we can spank them.
Narrator She who colors outside of the lines
MrWhyt -- You post about getting head and a horse and you claim that I color outside the lines? Mwahahahahaha!!!!
MrWhyt: Uh, you're talking about pony heads and I'm the freak?
Mr Whyt: I'm not chopping any head off any horse for you. I'm willing to do a lot for you guys, but there's just some things I won't do. Mutilating dead horses is where I draw the line.
Look all i want to do is recreate a classic scene from The Godfather and you people look a tme like I'm advocating the beheading of all the ponies when really its just one and thats plan B if Vanessa cant/wont bring it back to life.
Mr Whyt: Sure, that's what you say. But could you really stop at one?
You know, that pony is going to start to stink, soon. Shouldn't it be sent to the glue factory?