|Our sad little lives, your comic relief.|
Oh, come on - I can't be the only one here who isn't bitter and who isn't evil.
So, in other words, if my sisters chance to read this - instant brood awaits you, just add sperm! :)
If I weren't so full of myself for making the quote list, I just might throw fit perfect fit about this!
figured I'd continue Jipsy's streak...
Okey Dokey matey blokey, all gloves are now so far off they're whirling about in space somewhere.
Yes. I do realize that "this is a show for the lifeless" comment is the height of irony, when it comes from the woman
who just said she was following along at home. But I never claimed to have a life, did I?
Sign me up for the CRACK! :)
the world is not ready for the unedited version o'me.
ooh and I got an e-mail from my tutor about bits of my dissertation that I sent in. The e-mail was good although
one part said "The last two sentences don't make sense". So I checked, and you know what? He was right! I might do something about
it or I might not. I can see if the external markers smoke pot.
You've all gone demented. Just so's you know.
clarrie Yes, you are indeed a nice person. You tell anyone off this thread that I said that, you die horribly.
I fully expect to have dreams tonight where I get to heaven and there's God quoting passages from Genesis 1 at me in a
booming voice and sending me down to hell where giant craneflies eat me alive or, you know, dead for all eternity.
Tell him you need to learn asp asap.
Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the Police Academy movies were documentaries?
Godeater : Hey, smart cute girls....what a novel concept.
have you seen the size of his head in relation to his body?
Dude. I think I broke Karen & Queenie with the David Anders post.
But, while I was sitting in traffic behind the same car for epochs, I noticed that the hatchback part was
stuffed full of boxes, all with the address label and shipping instructions "Cole Taylor Bank." First I thought, what the heck
kind of a bank name is Cole Taylor? It sounds like a shoe store. Then I thought, what the heck is this guy doing with all of the
Cole Taylor Bank's boxes? Then I thought, it looks like a residential address, though, so maybe his name is Cole Taylor Bank.
And then I thought, if he had a bank, it would be called the Cole Taylor Bank Bank. It was at this point that I realized that I
am easily amused.
...and then I'll be mounting all freakin' weekend.
if I haven't dropped ten thousand tags in this post, I'll be surprised.
its all cool, fool (thats an ok, its how all the happening people talk, when they're not talking like
pirates that is)
Sheeesh. It's not like I'm advocating leaving pets behind in hurricanes or shooting rare animals.
For once, dear readers, I have absolutely NOTHING to rant about. Enjoy that experience, it'll fade soon enough I'm sure.
Pickin' on you at the camp, they are. Smack them down you must. :)
Looks like I wasn't funny enough last month. Didn't get one entry in the quotes list. Well fuck you, fuck you all, see if
Sure, I'm paranoid, but in a perfectly reasonable way.
Shopping at any time does not frighten me. I am my mother's child, trained in the warzone gutters of shopping malls, stores
and retail outtings. I can shop for ours in 3" heels. I am a Queen of the Shoppers, an Empress in Commercial Enterprises.
See now you're just trying to get me in trouble. However I hold an ace card ...
That Bill Maher quote is either the funniest mean quote, or the meanest funny quote, I've heard since... well, since I looked
at Claris's quote page (sorry Amish Boy, maybe next time).
So this is how normal people feel in the AM!
Oh, just say something about a chimp's cock again, and you'll be a shoo-in.
Driving people nuts is rather fun. It makes up for those times that they make me homicidal.
Ogre: I'm pretty certain that the posion resistant mutant rats that "frequently attack people" do not exist.
See that? BITTER! And not sorry about it either.
There is a good deal of egotism in thinking that people are still talking shit about you long after you ceased to
Do we HAVE to boycot ForbiddenPlanet? They have really slutty shop assistants there and I was just starting to
recognise who was who just by what thong was being shoved in my face.
But i have enough problems without my self-righteous venom undoing years of expensive therapy.
However, no matter how bad I feel, I can take comfort in the fact that I will never be as stupid as Jessica Simpson. She has in fact topped her stupidity in not knowing why tuna is called "the chicken of the sea" and the fact that it is called that doesn't mean it is in fact chicken, by confessing she thought buffalo wings were from actual buffalo.
I am like a walking oddball entertainment plague.
Anya is a small, bit of a girl. I have no doubt she's fiesty as all get out, but keeping up with me in drinking takes...training. And more then one liver.
Boo! To appointments for life. If I don't get job security, neither should they!
Well, I had a feeling it was going to be an odd day when I saw Superman standing at valet parking.
Who am I? Why am I here? If I murder my clients, will I still be able to collect my fee? Why is it that hot dogs come eight to a pack but hot dog buns come six to a pack? Why does "inflammable" and "flammable" mean the same thing?
This is a bitch session, so everyone take two steps back for your own protection.
Thank you. I apprecate being corrected on my spelling. Specially after 8 cans of Guinness and 4 shots of Jameson.
Researchers have at last supported my opinion that goldfish do not have a 3-second memory, as previosly believed, but have the mental capacity of a small mammal and a memory of at least 3 months, if not longer. On the basis of this research, I am sending all mine out to find work to supplement my meagre income
I liked that Sark laughed at Syd. He's just the best. morally ambiguous. spy. ever! If he were a D&D character, he'd be chaotic neutral. Possibly a chaotic neutral elven acrobat-thief.
If a waiter comes up to you and asks "isn't it everything you would want a Chocolate Eruption to be?" it's probably a good idea to go ahead and say yes, instead of blushing, pausing, and saying "well, under these particular circumstances, I couldn't ask for anything better.
So no miming or horse erotica . What are we supposed to do to pass the time ?
So in one of those tree-in-a-forest type questions, if I get drunk when I'm nowhere near a computer, does it still count?
my California friends, today's the day. Do it the Chicago way: Vote early and often, and possibly in the name of people who are actually dead!
There are times I feel like I should just go smash Tokyo, I tell you.
At no time did I predict that today would be better -- I merely demanded that it be so. If it's not better than yesterday, then I say we take it out back and shoot it.
Look! I'm in e-mail! You can't control me! lala alalalalalalaaaaa!
My confidence in the Cubs remains strong. Just a feeling I've got. Of course, I'm rather heavily medicated at the moment.
see,that's what I said Time Travel. However apparently some people considerit too 'expenisve', 'unrealistic' and 'entirely based in fantasy'. I tell you!
Claris : All right, well why don't you finish that, and I'll finish my work...
I want to vent about the fact that Chrissy gave me SARS! (the disease, not the girl at tomatonation.com, thanks)
That and...IT WAS A FRICKIN' CLOWN!!! What did you want me to do - Let it follow us home and murder us in our sleep? 'cause that's what they can do, you know. Clowns. Oh, sure - no doubt moooooost of them are
safe. Mooooost of the time, juggling hand-grenades is probably safe enough, too. But merrily waving at strange clown weaving in traffic in a terrifyingly decrepit clown-car is just asking for trouble. And let me tell you this
my friends - this was no jet-setting clown - this was an embittered, seedy, alcoholic, pill-popping, serial-killer clown, if I ever saw one. Frankly, I think all that were present at that...incident...owe me a debt of gratitude.
Yessir, gratitude. I look after my own, I do.
In the dictionary, next to "loquacity" it has a picture of -- well, of Oscar Wilde. But if it wasn't for Wilde, it'd be me.
I've sat through Scientology infomercials that left me with a better respect for the intellegence for the human race.
ya know, I love my dog a bunch. In fact, I love her so much that I know it's wrong to put her in a halloween costume beyond maybe putting a red
bandanna on her neck & saying she's a cowgirl. Why don't other people know this as well?
I was writing a new Worst Case Scenario Handbook of my very own life.
The fact that I don't own any condiments has no bearing on my ability to cook a pie for Thanksgiving. I have a good mind to go out and buy some
salt and pepper just to spite you all. My fridge also has beer.
...there's still a part of me that's a wee bit wary.
allow me to impersonate a giddy fangurl...
There are people talking about betrayal of fudge secrets and debating the location of one's timbers.
this is weird. it's like there's a time loop, and stuff i was saying three hours ago now you're saying
I have never heard the word minging. Since I learned it here, I suspect I'd better not use it in ordinary life. There are probably obscene connotations, and I'm very repressed.
DarkLady:: i'm starting to see why you're always working
FlyBoy: I'm never calling home drunk anymore
If people waited to post until they knew what was going on, no one would say anything in here.
But, but if I turn off my computer, what will happen to all my little friends that live in it?