Our sad little lives, your comic relief.


but why would I want a restful christmas vacation when I can stir up heartbreak and torment?
- DarkLady

>sigh< If that phone rings one more time today, I'm going to polish it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and shove it up someone's roody poo candy ass...

Sam : I will say that in general I don't have any problem with recreational drug use, as long as one avoids the really nasty, dangerous stuff. (Or to put it another way: Pot, Shrooms, and Beer are OK! Heroine, Cocaine, and PCP are not!)
Claris : there you go
Sam : They should let me teach DARE.
Claris : hee. would give a whole new twist to the acronym Drugs Are Really Exciting
Sam : See, I think my method actually would save lives, all joking aside. You'd wind up with a bunch of kids who smoke pot instead of getting addicted to heroin. Heck, maybe they'll even smoke pot instead of cigarettes, in which case I'd really save lives.

my mouth is so full of sugar taste it feels like my tongue's been candied
- Leah

they can make you come to work
but they can't make you earn your paycheck.

- eiddy

Ah, the net. It's not just for porn anymore.
- DarkLady

and as an update: I contine to be lonely and pathetic
- Mr. Whyt

We're going to see the whales on Maui. I'm hoping no Navy submarine decides to do an emergency blow under us while we are out on the ocean.
- Cosmic Bob

Claris : *laughter* Please remember ANya & I will be in the other room, & ZOey no doubt will visit you guys sometime during the night.
Godeater : Wouldn't be the first time a dog joined two girls an I in a bed...*g*
Claris : See that's so wrong.
Godeater : You're telling me!
Claris : I did know you'd had sex in tennessee
Godeater : Hey! It was West Virgina, thank you very much!

She's insane. I mean loony and not in the entertaining way we are
- DarkLady

Also, I see that many people have been getting wonderful snow. Mwhahahahaha *cough* I mean, golly, that's *rough*.
- Sarah

This is how rumors get started.
Oh, wait, that's not how rumors get started. Amish Boy is how rumors get started.

- Leather Jacket

Dao Jones : I'm gonna go out on a limb and say......I don't like it.
Claris : Heh.
Claris : I shall tell you the same defense I gave Anya today against the snow - I suggest you go outside, yell a little, shake your fist at the sky, & see what happens. *g*
Dao Jones : :-)
Claris : she said it didn't normally work for her. *shrug*
Dao Jones : well, if it won't work for anya, it's certainly not going to work for me!
Claris : What? You think the gods fear her more?
Well, yeah, probably, yes.
Dao Jones : yes. yes I do.
Claris : That's probably a good assumption, really.
Dao Jones : It's more than an assumption. It's more like......innate knowledge.

grr. it's too bad it's inappropriate to send feedback that says, "what the fuck was that?"
- DarkLady

See, I'm mostly worried about having the two of you, on your periods, in the same state.
California thought that it had troubles BEFORE.

- Robyn on Anya visiting Claris in L.A.

and if you treat people like they're disposable, eventually you run out of people. no---really.
- Dao Jones

Funnily enough, Seattle employers don't seem to employ drug tests. Guess they figure they wouldn't have many actual employees.
- Vanessa

You know what sticker I want? A bumper sticker. One that reads: If you are so close to me that you can READ this then the rocket launcher housed in the trunk of this car WILL be able to incinerate your body to ashes.
- Anya

Hey, Claris got me nekkid. She's got powers, dude.
- DarkLady

I once saw a website that had audio files that people recorded of their neighbors having sex. I didn't understand how the site could have so many files until *name deleted and*name deleted* moved in. Good times.
- Willa

haven't updated for ages, so i am rectifying that in case anyone thought i was dead. or something.
i'm not dead, by the way. i normally look this pale.

- Kenix

I know it's your world. I just play with it to torture DarkLady and you with outtakes from the edge of surreality.
- Anya

My dog plays me like a cheap violin. It's sad, really.
- moppety

How dare you not like slash? What kind of evil, homophobic, bitch...
oh wait, I'm a rational human being. Nevermind.

- Lovely Poet

Guns are so noisy. Couldn't I just bludgeon her? I've got a crow bar in my trunk.
- Leather Jacket
Her head's pretty dense. I fear for your crowbar.
- White wings

A few months ago, we were too late and he had to be rushed to College Station to get the vet school to do an emergency thong-ectomy.
- 'stina on the joys of pet Auntie-ship.

Looks like 10" is likely.
Unfortunately I am talking about snow.
I have to go to bed and beat my head against the headboard. Night all!

- newfan

I am all well rested and perky. People are scared more than usual today. It's ALL good!
- Anya

Gosh, suddenly I was ranting.
- DarkLady

Depraved? Me? Why, yes thank you.
- Anya

Electrical work is satisfying on many levels. It is often pretty simple (white wire, black wire, green wire), and the fact that most people are afraid of getting shocked usually means extra cookies for you when you finish without being killed.
- CB Bro

Well, back to another day at work where my boss is absent, my co-workers are grumpy and everyone is on cruise control.
- Mr. Willa

God help us, I hope we don't fall like Rome. If Bush takes up the violin, we're in deep shit.
- DreamLurker

Circles are more than just that funny round shape you see in Cheerios.
- Anya

And can I just say that based on what you guys were up to today, I never want to get you [Claris] and Anya mad at me for anything ever....
- DarkLady

Attempted to look at stars last night. Note to selves: figure out how to align things, and which lens to use, BEFORE the wine is consumed. Yes.
- SarahNicole

Cheesiest line ever. He luvvvvvvvs you. You should date him and break him.
- Mr. Whyt

I have some recipies which have seekrit tricks to them, or special ingredients.
The "Toll House bars" as the name suggests, are not one of them. *g*

- DarkLady

I just don't anyone getting sad about the neglected pussy is all...

He says he wants to be an artist, but we're all afraid he'd burn the house down.
- 'stina

Xanderella Isn't it a bit early for you to making jokes? Or maybe it's the fact that it is so early that makes your jokes so crap.
- Amish Boy

I am not a Keebler elf.
- DarkLady

It's all your fault. You are so mean. keep up the good work
- white wings

I really wish people would stop trying to sell me Viagra.
- Claris
It's not the Viagra that bothers me, it's them always making fun of my tiny penis.
- janni518

Well, it'd be fun to kick ass and win. If this was a torture story where we were all gonna die horribly, there'd probably be less enthusiasm.
- DarkLady

Anyway... I do appreciate the peer pressure.
  - RTBS

it's a sociology job!
fuck me, i never thought they existed.

- kenickie

My results speak for themselves. My technique is under a gag order.
- CB Bro

I refuse to give an appropriate response to that comment, because at some point I know that 'stina will scroll this entry & do the job for me. Yes indeed....
- Claris

off to warp the minds of America's youth.
- DarkLady
Their minds are already warped. You're just sending them further down the path to disassociated madness.
- Anya

I prefer my own, ultra-effective method of avoiding coitus: replusing members of the opposite sex by clearly indicating an unhealthy fascination with comic books. You should teach this in class.
"Whenever a boy or girl is speaking to you in a manner that suggests they may find you sexy, and possibly wish to copulate with you, simply interrupt them in a brusque fashion and loudly declare 'I like comic books!' This has been proven to be sufficient deterrent to 99% of the human population -- roughly the same effectiveness as most prophylactic devices, with none of the unpleasant latex aroma or chafing of a Haz-Mat suit."

- Moira

Yes. I got my ass kicked by an 8 pound cat.
- Little Sister
Don't feel too bad about it. Four of her five ends are pointy.
- Robyn

And I'd like to right the LOTR guys a letter thanking them for kissing each other on a regular basis. It makes everyone so happy.
- KitCat

I have a build-up to finish, a final battle to orchestrate, & an ending to hang your cliff off of to lead into the second book.
I feel like Prince Humperdink, only without the minions to do my bidding. Gotta work on that...

- Claris

hey. it makes me feel more like a rock star. shut up.
- kenix

November 15, 2003