Our sad little lives, your comic relief.










updated....6/13/02

*sigh* I knew I should have started charging royalty's for the use of my infamous statements.
- Anya

So I just stumbled upon your quotes page Claris. Highly amusing.
Anya..you've got some good stuff there.
oh no no. I am only half done with the page. This stuff if killing me.

HEY!!!!!!!!

I AM IN SOME OF THESE QUOTES!!!

- Amaranth
Anya - is it just me, or did that site suddenly get way funner for you too?
- Claris
Suddenly, my pain is so much lighter... yes...
- Anya

YOU! YOU! Goddamnit! Karen and Keri took me-quotes from your page!
- Anya
HA HA!

I mean, wow. That's wrong.
- Claris
I'm gonna get you
- Anya
Ruh huh. That's nice dear.
- Claris

nothing we say to you is protected. anything we say can and will be held againstus in court of public opinion and mockery
- Mr. Whyt

No LJ for me and no me joining any sort of boy in any sort of ring (cept maybe those sparkyl *Nsync boys they're dreamy)
- Mr. Whyt

Six hours to freedom! Deduct 2 hours for lunch! Four hours to freedom!
YEAH! Now that's the stuff we're talking bout!

(Dedication, that's SO my middle name.)

- Anya

that sounds like a good idea. youre right, Anya's right! :o)
- Betsy
Shhh! Don't tell her. I'll never hear the end of it!
- Claris

CB must take the Illinois bar because we care naught about what Indiana folks know. I mean, here, our cows do not prevent Daylight Savings Time from being adopted.
- Narrator
Narrator never mock the power of the cows.
- Closet Buffaholic

Yes, I am five and impatient.
- KitCat

Sol Spiderman, first Semetic Super Hero, at your service. (oh shit, I have to go do something else. I just typed "at your cervix")
- Xanderella

Tiggz, Evalie and Slavey y'all been addded to my list, the LJ list not the revenge list in case you were wondering, Claris on the other hand gets the friends list and the revenge list.
- Mr. Whyt

Yup, he's going to be more difficult than dealing with a child awaiting the results of the bar exam. *eg*
- white wings

well, fetish, specially considering your other friends, may be a little strong of a word.
- Betsy

Evalie : *grin* Ha! First we taught you about fisting, now you're a LiveJournal whore! Your corruption continues!
- Claris
claris: What exactly is the correlation between fisting and LiveJournal? Are you like the Anais Nin of the internet?
- Ogre
I'm associated with fisting and a whore too?? Good grief, I have been corrupted by the Camp!
- Evalie

I really hope this is your voicemail, and if it's not, well hi!
- Betsy

You assume I'm going to just jump his bones at the first sight of him. Please! I have more class than that.
- Anya
Fine then.
The second sight of him? *grin*

- Claris
Well, yes. The second sighting, most likely will involve a jump or two.
- Anya
Ha! thank you!
I win.

- Claris

I am now having a drink to my testicle.... even thought he is a RIGHT BOLLOX I would have missed him*g*
- Prince of Lunacy

Well thank you for caring....

wait you're caring? That aint right, you must be plotting something. Well you're always plotting something but you must be plotting something against me!!! I'm on to you missy.
- Mr. Whyt
Maybe I am planning. You never know.

Or, maybe I'm not plotting, but I let you think I'm plotting so that I can laugh at you while you get all nervous trying to figure out what I'm plotting.....

Or, perhaps I am plotting, but I wanted you to think I was just pretending to be plotting so that you would feel all safe in your "She's just trying to make me more paranoid" place so that when the plotting comes to fruition, BAM!

You never saw it coming.

Feel safe yet?

Oh, and by the way - your cat's trying to kill you. Just so you know.
- Claris

Or maybe my cat just wants me to think that he's trying to kill me, and how do oyu know he;s trying to kill me? are you two incahoots? As for your plotting I think I'll remain paranoid and assume that the answer is d:all of the above.
- Mr. Whyt

Fucking celebs better get out of my hood. I can't afford a rent increase.
- Allyson

I would walk, but industrial complexes just aren't as condusive to sight seeing as the brochure makes it seem.....
- Claris

Amaranth's having trouble catching on to the gayness, huh? :)
- Chris Golden
I DID NOT HAVE TROUBLE CATCHING THE GAYNESS!!!
- Amaranth

Well, it's all fun and games until the rat gets dizzy and throws up...
- Narrator

endorphins are fun, reminds of when I used to have sex.
- Allyson

Have you ever had to explain to your boss about one of your friends' testicles? I have!
- Claris

That's okay. I'll take the blame. I'm everyone else's whipping boy. As Jack Burton would say, "Give me you best shot pal, 'cause I can take it." Seriously. No I mean it. I'm responsible for the black text, the price of oil, Reganomics, I was on the Grassy Knoll, and I'M the reason Buffy sucks so much this year. I made a secret deal with Satan for Buffy to suck these last two years just so I'd have something to bitch about. No really. Ask Narrator. She knows I'm to blame for EVERYTHING. Well, I don't take credit for Britney Spears... but just about everything else is my fault.
- RTBS

Am currently drinking Calamansi juice. It's... citrus-y. And good. Also, it's a product of the Philipines. Other than Vince, I don't know if I've ever had a product of the Philippines before ;)
- Chrissy

At a press conference the other day, Im pretty sure I heard the Governor say Where are we going? And whats with this handbasket? Could have been my imagination. Still
- RTBS

and have you been to the Camp? of course all the women are on the same cycles *g*
- Seska

Fascinating things these live journals, I learn all kinds of stuff that I really dont want to know.
- Mr. Whyt

But with evil, shouldn't there be fear? I mean, it's not like Darth Vadar was both evil and cuddly, right?
- Monique

I think we should all write letters to UPN. Because that worked so well the last time we did.
- Allyson
Allyson exactly, like that time when we wrote letters and they listened and heard and promptly fixed their website.
- Mr. Whyt
Why are we writing to UPN again? Is there some thing we want to do to ourselves that banging our heads against a wall wouldn't accomplish just as well?
- Narrator
Oh! It could be exactly like that time we asked our fairy godmothers to make us carriages out of pumpkins! That was so cool.
- Vanessa

Ok, let's keep all the sharp objects away from the "Alias" fans.

And also Allyson.

- Narrator
Narrator isn't "keep sharp objects away from Allyson" sort of a standing order around here?
- Mr. Whyt

*snicker* Go Little Sister! Go!

(Just me, being all Jiminy Cricket antithesis-like)

- Claris

Never underestimate the ability of the WB to be really, really, stupid.
- Closet Buffaholic

Oh, we're going to talk about me again, are we? Goody!
- KitCat

Well, right now the plan is to basically lie.
- Claris

I gotta go to work.

FUCK

- Anya

I'm already AT work.

For fuck's sake.

- Claris

Because that's a conversation you want to have Dad. Oh, my daughter? She writes for whips and chains weekly.
- Lovely Poet

Note to self:

Get less morbid friends.

Y'all are weird.

- Monique

Glad to drive a few governement employees one step closer to the edge :)
- Adina

If I hadn't been so involved, I would have become an alcoholic in order to have something to do, and that is expensive :o)
- Betsy

the opinons I'm about to express are probably uninformed, ignorant and possibly misguided.

I'm nothing if not upfront about my own possible ignorance.*g*

- Godeater

I'm only here because I heard God was posting in a rational manner.
- DarkLady

Hey, ever since I got that gov't tracking bracelet off, the remnants of the electro shock therapy have had me in fairly even ground, dammit. Don't you challenge my emotional state!
*breaks down in a corner & cries*

- Claris

His logic is not our earth logic. Nor is it more advanced.
- Leather Jacket

Actually, there'd be many opertunitys for fun with nametags at an orgy.
You could have nametags with the crocodile clamp type attachments, and clip them to peoples nipples
Or then theres the tags with the safety-pin style attachment but ewww makes me squirm just thinking about where you'd attach that one

- TMorel
Er...perhaps I should be in chrage of the name tags.....you just relax and bring the inflatables
- Prince of Lunacy

She is on crack.
Don't know where that came from, just a random thought that seems to be at the foundation of a universe in understanding.
- Anya

What's the what here?

Link me up. If I go over & talk, I'll lose the slightly anti-social edge I've worked so hard to establish.

- Claris

.... glad to hear Cosmic Baby is doing well though. Maybe some day he'll meet Alexander T. Salamander. AND RULE THE WORLD WITH IRON FISTS!
- RTBS

I dare you! I can say this because I am currently drunk off my ass and FEEL NO FEAR!
- Psycho Sam

Cosmic Bob kidnapping and torture? thats foreplay to Faith, so I think she really likes Wesley.
edited cause i don't know a Cosmic Bobo
- Mr. Whyt
must...not...make...joke...related...to...Cosmic...Bobo....
- Closet Buffaholic

OK, We need a Petition.

Dear Mutant Enemy:
We miss [insert name of any one of a number of dead characters -- Jenny, Joyce, Big Gay Larry, etc.] Sunnydale isn't the same without them. We worry about the characters. We worry about how the other characters miss these characters.
BRING [insert character name] BACK!!

Also, we want a pony!

s/ The Fans

- Narrator

I'm on it. First, can we get the Musical on CD petition going? And the one that makes me Queen of the Whole Damn World? We can send it directly to God.
- Allyson

Allyson You are sick and twisted and I'm going to have to put some serious thought into it - and maybe a babysitter cam - next time I need you to watch my baby.
- Polgara

No no no! He is not Dead!Vaughn! I refuse to believe that! He is Currently Without Source of Oxygen Being Shmoosed Up Against A Door Vaughn! There is no dead!
- Sarah
Sarah shouldn't that be Currently Without Source of Oxygen Swept Away After Being Shmoosed Up Against A Door Vaughn!?
- Mr. Whyt

You're working. Like, work "working" aren't you?

Wow. You handling the shock okay? Needing any therapy?

- Anya

They renewed Touched by an Angel. Haven't they saved everyone's soul by now? What's up with that?
- Closet Buffaholic

well, I would say you are NOT in need of a dictionary, I think it could only be dangerous if you got your hands on a few more words!!!
- Betsy

It's good for her, builds character and if it sends her banging her head on the cubicle desk... all the better.
- Anya

If nothing else, we can go somewhere and pretend my life isn't chaos.
- Little Sister

Thanks, but you know I think that's its best cause you know with our rule of naming the baby after where it was conceived, I just don't think Grand Am Parked in the Driveway Wook would have sounded very nice...
- Texas Wook

Narrator if you ever want to use the internet again, I'd stay away from making death threats against the inventor. Just a suggestion.
- DarkLady

*FIGHT* *FIGHT

The Brits are dissing each other's schools!!

This could be amusing if this wasn't going to get settled over tea and scones.

- Narrator

Brits never settle arguments over scones. Scones are in fact the cause of many arguments.
- elusio

*will NOT ask about the diaper. Will NOT ask about the diaper. Will NOTask about . . . *
- Christopher Golden

Oh my god! I just rememberd! You sew! I'll have another sewing geek to bond with in LA! Whee!
(Just because it's fun....I accidentally typed "bong with" originally. I don't know why!)
- Claris

How's the photocopier Anya? You bury it next to the other bodies?
- Amaranth

When have Buffy writers ever let that which is implausible stop them? LOL
- Jipsy Girl

Anyway, now that I've not-done work, maybe I'll do a few minutes OF work.
Just to amuse myself until noon.

- Anya

Just so you know, my initial response to that e-mail was to flip off the screen.
- Claris to Golden

Soon, you will have rice cereal everywhere! And some may actually go in his mouth!
- Cosmic Bob, on feeding babies......

Brian asked if he could borrow the pants the other day... :O)
- Betsy
I hope you told him that if he rented the pants, he'd have to give you a deposit of two balls that would be returned upon the safe receipt of said pants.....*grin*
- Claris
um, I don't think he has full custody of the balls either.... :O) hehehe.
- Betsy

Are you okay? I'm worried about you. Need to swing a sledge hammer? I can accomodate that.
- Little Sister

I have a whole new appreciation of (name edited to protectthe innocent Claris' chances of survival). I think it's called lust.
- Little Sister
Ooo, it's the lusty Little Sister. :) How fun!
- Golden

I think I'll stick to my own crappy universe rather than upgrading to yours...
- Anya

Essentially, I guilt-tripped her. More for the sake of doing something fun than anything else.
- Anya

It's nice to see students have time on their hands to investigate the important things in life. Fraud, Hacking, etc. The little things that make the world more enjoyable for the poor folks in it. Like, oh, me.
- Anya

She needs to just take a page from Robyn & find an elevator.
- Claris

I just wish I was soberer so I could absorb some of this
- Chrissy

Joss should be required to write and direct every frickin' episode. Except the all nekkid one, I'll handle that one.
- Cosmic Bob

Actual e-mail sent to my boss after the two of us played phone tag all day.... too bad the job sucks, because my boss is pretty cool....
I'm just establishing this now....but I totally own you in th morning. I don't care if Chris & Steve's sites are on fire & there are babies trapped inside...*grin*

P.S. The "owning" thing? I meant that in a completely non prison movie sense. Just so we're clear. *grin*

- Claris

May 13, 2002