Our sad little lives, your comic relief.










updated.... 7/5/02

Hi Claris,
Noticed you updated your quotes page just now (yes, it's bookmarked!) and for the record, I have *not* stolen quotes off your page for my personal benefit.
At least not yet.
I know Keri has though.
Heh.

- Karen
GODDAMNIT!
- Anya

It has come to my attention that I am tragically under-represented on Claris' quote page. Must endeavour to be wittier.

*panics*
- Chrissy

oh sure, amberlynne had speed, but I brought the slash in. Remember that, people.
- Xanderella

God, I hate the bar exam.

That is all.

- Closet Buffaholic
For those of you that don't know CB, this is the definitive quote for her for the Summer of 2002.

Wow, first Xanderella says that I'm right (at the Bater) and now Vanessa does. Is there an apocalypse scheduled that I don't know about?
- Narrator

Vanessa maybe we just haven't had enough porn around lately? The natives are getting restless or something? They're standing around saying, "There could be more porn. This could be pornier." someone needs to fix this obviously.
Where's 'stina and the Goat when we need them?
- DarkLady

I think I might have an attitude problem. Or maybe my persona does. Hold me.
- Allyson

as to the quotes...
make up something cool. credit it to me (me me)

- Antipodean

Oh, and I just saw that Claris put the entire Sam's Ass debacle from Camp on her quote page. My ass is now a STAR! You all want my ass now! But my ass has let fame go to its head, and will no longer return any of your phone calls. (There's some scary anatomy thoughts in that last sentence, but I'm not going there.)
- Psycho Sam

and I have whisker burn on my chin. so far no one seems to have made the connection between the red chin and slightly pink cheeks and the member of the walking dead look of my body.
- Little Sister
*snicker* Can I put that in the quote page as an anonymous entry? PLEASE?
- Claris
Just so you guys know, she told me to ahead & put her name on it. I just didn't think that part was really funny. *grin*

*pat, pat* Don't worry. Soon you'll again have your music of rage.
- Robyn TSH
Yeah yeah yeah......shut it. I've got Alanis for that. Fiona is despondency. get it right.
- Claris

I also resist the urge to suggest that AnnoyingDaddy insert certain parts of his anatomy into other parts of his anatomy, because I'm not really mad, I'm just married.
- Xanderella

Joss should be required to write and direct every frickin' episode. Except the all nekkid one, I'll handle that one.
- Cosmic Bob

*sniffle* I love you right now. Just so you know. If you didn't live so far away, I'd suggest we hug.
- Claris to DarkLady

Grapefruit.....

Tastes horrible AFTER you've brushed your teeth with minty toothpaste.

- Anya

i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
i will not go to lj until break
- Little Sister....to borrow from chiquens.... sucked IN, baby!

well, we saw 2 snapping turtles on our walk!!
- Betsy
I read that quick, & for a minute, thought your thing said that you'd snapped two turtles. *whew!* I was really worried about you there for a sec, Betsy, lemme tell ya.
- Claris

I suspect that you Canadians are behind this.
- Narrator
Narrator - Mwahahahaha *cough* I mean, us? Never! We're all things innocent.
- LOTL Sarah
Sarah -- Oh, "innocent" is the last word that accurately describes you Canadians. "Sneaky" and "weather-controlling" are more accurate. - Narrator
Narrator - We prefer the terms "complicated" and "climate-manipulators"
- LOTL Sarah
Sarah well I prefer the terms "cunning" and "all powerful" meself.
- Mr. Whyt
Mr. Whyt : you just keep telling yourself that, dearie....*pet*pet*
- Claris
Mr. Whyt - Ooh yes. Those are even better.
- LOTL Sarah
Sarah, MrWhyt -- I see your delusions are in full flower.
- Narrator

Yes, it is time to go home, thank you very much. Well, time to leave work anyway. Being in roughly the same part of the world as Amish Boy, the same two words are springing to my mind.
(just to clarisfy, that's "beer" and "garden". Not "hair" and "cut")
- nails

well, lets see, he did get a car out of the deal, and the mob is keeping track of what they owe him, so his thinking is that this "co" is going to get Lots of $ at some point, so if he is "loyal" it will "pay off"
- Betsy
You've got to be KIDDING! *laughter* Dude, that's wicked funny! Usually, YOU owe the MOB money, not the other way around!
- Claris

All right. Lunchtime! I need some sushi & zen, dammit!
- Chrissy

In my continuing effort to eat healthier, I attempted to convince my body that the cheetos were actually carrot sticks.
- Eiddy

You're smiling too much...they will become suspicious if you keep it up... :)
- coworker
It's Dave's fault. He's totally egging me on. So far, I'm learning new lingo, he's coming dressed up as Mamie from Gone with the Wind for next Halloween, and oh yeah. Jason got hit with the feather talking stick thingy, which, incidentally, clashed with the shirt he was wearing.......
And that's the short version.

- Claris

One of us is pining for her midget, the other is freakin' out about finally reporting her work colleague's shocking behaviour to her bosses. So. Wednesday was fun.
- ramorphie

I did a search for a gif animator one time, and came up with a shareware site that carried gif animators. So one click later I'm looking at hardcore pornography.
*sigh* Happy days.

- Amish Boy

*laughter* She is irritatingly good at the sweet & innocent facade, isn't she? You'd never know what evil lurks in the heart of Anya......except us. We're like the Shadow. We know.
(ooh. I think I need to go quote myself!)

- Claris to Karen

banana : Mr Whyt + Physics, yes. Mr Whyt + marriage? NO.
- Catriona

OK so to sum up, Allyson's bringing the pastry porn, Kansas is punning, Mr. Whyt isn't getting either pastry, porn or punning and Claris is easy?

Did I miss anything?

- DarkLady

I get hour break, and the internet goes down. Doesn't that just figure.
- Little Sister
Bastard internet!
But hey, didn't your sister invent that? I say you take it up with her!

- Claris

It's all about being the goth Martha Stewart.
- Allyson

Oh my. It's really good that you don't have my job. You'd just snap & start killing.
Like, even more than you do now.

- Claris to Anya

I just glanced at N's office and thought "If I take the letter opener, I can slit laterally three inches up from hip bone, kick him forward and watch his intestines spill out".
*blink* I wonder if that would actually work, or would I have to reach in and pull them out?

- Anya
Cruise Director, Hell on Earth

She's from NH? What part? I just want to know so I can avoid the town if possible. (Or, you know, give you ammunition for deurogatory comments.)
- Claris

And if you want to give yourself a stroke, check out their website.
- DarkLady

Silly girl, you need to learn never to challenge Bronzers. You of all people really should know that by now. Cause we thrive on challenges. And making friends look funny. :)
- Little Sister

We got a late start, so we ended up just doing dinner, then renting Black Hawk Down.
- Little Sister
How was dinner? LOL
- Golden
Probably tired after being done, don't you think? In fact, I'll bet Dinner's really tired but feeling very relaxed.
- Claris
OOh, and it's Claris into the end zone with the euphemisms!
- Golden
*Claris takes a bow*
I'm not getting action. At least let me have the euphamisms....*grin*

- Claris

Oh, my... even picturing the entire scenario makes me laugh now. I'd have shit entire walls, much less bricks!
- Anya

So, in the interest of reclaiming my somewhat tattered zen (this week courtesy of work, hormones, smog and the letter Q. Well, ok, I made up that last part. But now that I think about it, it's a pretty fucking annoying letter), I am taking myself out for lunch.
- Chrissy

Hold the applause....

But, I'm back.
- Anya
*chorus of angels singing*

*angels realize who they're singing for*

*chorus of angels screaming in fear*

- Claris

Ha. Ha.

You are SO very droll.

- Anya

Hot am I? Come over to the swamp, see my Special Edition, you should.
- Yoda doing a guest appearance at Camp.

*point* *mock* *laugh* I was on the TV last night. I am so cool.
- chiquens

If I'm in a chatty mood, I just start talking to them. About stuff that has nothing to do with anything. The weather, the Leafs/Jays/Raptors, current events. I don't wait for their answers, I just keep talking and ranting about bullshit. Eventually they cut me off and start their speel about whatever their selling. I just tell them nah, I ain't got time to talk. Wife's chained to the bed and has to go to the little girls room. I then laugh like a freak and hang up.

Strangely enough, they never call back.*g*

- Godeater vs. telemarketers

It's fine and dandy if others are subjected to the disorganized horror that is my hair, but it stops being funny when I get hurt.
- Eiddy

There was always something interesting going on. And, if all else failed, I could go find me some sex.
- Godeater

I killed my first spider last night. Well, not really, but it was my first experiment in premeditated arachnicide.
- Dunlin

What, this isn't the rant about how I don't care about soccer? Oops. Sorry.
- Megdalen

I don't remember. It's all a blur. Sadly, it's not an alcohol induced one.
- RTBS

All I did was go to switch around the laundry.....sheesh....
Anya: Yo! Power to the People!
Anya: So, I'm watching a Spanish movie with French subtitles. How sad is that?
Anya: And you're ELSEWHERE again! Quelle Surprise! Blah!
Anya: You know, this is kinda getting up there with the pet peeve I had about W's fly-by IM's. You know the ones of which I speak... last summer and fall held their predominance. W pops in. W IM's, W disappears before you can say "Oh, hi W!"
Anya: Well, we nipped the W-poofs in the bud, now we have to deal with the "Claris logs on. Claris buggers off. " issue.
Anya: AAARGH.
Anya: At the rate this is going, it's only a matter of time before I start writing in Eminem lyrics.
Claris: oh. Hi.
Anya: Bitch.

And, that I'm being Switzerland and utterly neutral, but your humiliation has always been near and dear to my heart. *smirk*
- Anya

I had a phone call! From a friend! That lasted exactly a half hour!
I am so going to get fired one day.
Lunchies!
- DreamLurker

I think I can go out in public in this without scaring small children.
- 'stina

Okay, I'm going to do some work now. No, really. I am! Shut it, bitch.
- DreamLurker

Yuh-huh. I don't want one of THOSE. Just some sexy male for a one day stand would be nice. I'm not asking for committment, devotion, loyalty or anything. Just great sex. I'm shallow.
- Anya, on finding a husband

Yeah. *happy sigh* Ben. I want a Ben for my birthday, pease. *grin*
- Claris
Get. In. Line. Just thinking of him, his cute little smirk, his wonderful shoulders, trim hips and the scrub on his jawline... ooh. It does naughty things for me. If only he were here to do naughty things WITH me.
I have a wall.
A nice, firm, solid wall.
*sigh*
- Anya

On a bright note, one of my co workers just told me how to circumvent the AIM block.
- Claris
Oh. FUCK.
- Anya

In other news.... mmmm... sushi. Am taking myself out for sushi today for lunch. I'm becoming my own favourite lunch date. I should probably be worried about this.
- Chrissy

prances around the camp in a jaunty fashion
You got a problem with a guy being jaunty?
Maybe I like being jaunty. My jaunty-ness doens't stop me from being a manly man, I changed a flat in a jaunty fashion just the other day.

- Mr. Whyt

hee! The jaunty thing is going down at the bottom....so it's completely out of context....*snicker*
- Claris
Great.
- Mr. Whyt

Important Lesson #1 Pee before you leave the pub. A 15 minute walk seems an eternity when you have to pee. An eternity seems double when you finally get to the house and the bathroom is occupied. Words to live by. I promise.
- Dao Jones

May 13, 2002