Our sad little lives, your comic relief.










Okay. Welcome to the Hall of Scorn. This particular Temple of Intellectual Tempest & Mayhem began after February 2001, and in that time, Robyn & I often discussed posting the scorn for all to see. And point. And mock. And laugh. The initial posts of each line are done in their entirety, but after that, I just put replies inside them, or we'd all be in repetition hell, and my ability for coding patience really only goes so far. So, yah. there you have it.

Font Key :
Claris
Robyn
Bastion
others did participate, but there are only so many combinations I'm willing to keep track of.

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There is scorn for the House of Conrad! (except for the Lady Dao Jones of Conrad, who kicks ass)

Ever more shall they of the snowshoe hare banner look upon the House of Conrad (except for said Lady Dao Jones) with scorn, for their liegeman is truly a foolish, foolish man!
Let the town criers carry this news across the length and breadth of the land!
Let all ears hear tell of this scorn, and all shake their heads at these grave tidings.

There is scorn for the House of Conrad! (except for the Lady Dao Jones of Conrad, who kicks ass)
um, yeah. Hi. Um, Robyn? There's also two other siblings besides the ones that you met. Wanna make with the actual, you know, names?
...you know, you're ruining a perfectly good scorning with your accursed use of logic.

Ever more shall they of the snowshoe hare banner look upon the House of Conrad (except for said Lady Dao Jones) with scorn, for their liegeman is truly a foolish, foolish man! Let the town criers carry this news across the length and breadth of the land! Let all ears hear tell of this scorn, and all shake their heads at these grave tidings.
Yeah. Hi. Me again. So, obviously, we're talkin' male here. But once again, there's two that I know of. Twin brother, remember? Are we turning the scorn on Bastion's real name here Bastion, or the twin? And if the second - hey! When did you meet him? How come I wasn't involved!
Had I met a brother of Bastion's real name here Bastion, I'm pretty sure that such an event would have been forever branded upon my memory. In fact, the whole twin business was never brought up. (though my sympathies to the Matron Conrad...)
Okay.... the newer scorning rules and bylaws have been passed on to the heralds..

1) None of the ladies of the House of Conrad shall be scorned. (I'm sure that the sister of Lady Dao Jones likewise kicks ass.)
2) The twin of Lord Bastion shall not be scorned, unless he too proves himself to be a foolish, foolish man.

Keep on messing up my lovely scorning, and I'm about to invoke a witchcraft charge, Dame Claris!

I'm sick as hell, with no access to email... . COUGH COUGH.... There! You're all infected with my virus...... I haven't even been able to visit my lab till today....... I spit on your snowshoe banner, little hare!

______________________________

Alrighty, since I am STILL stuck in my lab, waiting for a fellow TA to help me clean up the Genetics Lab of Evil, I thought I might give a more lngthy response to you two scullions. Ahem!
Hark, Ye who criticize, being lowly beings of the Political Sciences(science? har har..) and the Arts, I be a Molecular Biologist, and have yea been brought low by some virus of my own concoction. Mock not, ye of the liberal arts houses, because as I arise from the depths of my flu-like illnes, my brethren and I will chain your scorn to weights of hotpockets and microwaveable chicken breasts and have dominion til the end of days over your liberal arts asses. Oh yes..... The House of Ridley has Spoken!

......ps, my twin's name is "Kayak Tom".

Alrighty, since I am STILL stuck in my lab, waiting for a fellow TA to help me clean up the Genetics Lab of Evil, I thought I might give a more lngthy response to you two scullions. Ahem!
And you took time away from feeding the misbegoten creatures born of test-tubes and science twisted and perverted to chastize us? Awww... that just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

Hark, Ye who criticize, being lowly beings of the Political Sciences(science? har har..)
You know, when I'm a political puppet-master, pulling the strings of those in elected positions of power, you'll be regretting that remark right about the time that your funding comes up for renewel... *g*
Oooh. She's got you by the balls there, boy. ( I meant figuratively Robyn. No, no, figuratively as in hypothetical! you're such a perv...)

and the Arts, I be a Molecular Biologist, and have yea been brought low by some virus of my own concoction.
sorry about your cold, though I'm flashing back to The Stand right about now...

Mock not, ye of the liberal arts houses, because as I arise from the depths of my flu-like illnes, my brethren and I will chain your scorn to weights of hotpockets and microwaveable chicken breasts and have dominion til the end of days over your liberal arts asses.
This reign of terror and microwavable-food-induced slavery shall only last until we of the House of Arts have completed grad school and grow restless in our positions as burger-flippers... then a Glorious Revolution shall take place, toppling your Oligarchy of Biology and bringing forth sweet democracy and freedom once more!

Oh yes..... The House of Ridley has Spoken!
A curse on both your houses!

......ps, my twin's name is "Kayak Tom".
Since you're being scorned right now and must number among the ranks of the untouchables, do you think that this 'Tom' would be adverse to being stalked? *g*

(This one was a multiple reply, hence the jumping around. Sorry!)

I'm sick as hell, with no access to email... .
*g* Did we say that's why she's scorning you? Nope, that we didn't. And we're not gonna tell you why, right now, either. Tell ya the next time we see ya.
The reasons for the scorning are priveledged information, available only to a few. Well, more like 'two' than 'few'.
(Psst... Claris... do you remember why I started the scorning?)

of course! It was that whole thing. You know, that thing with that guy, the one that did that thing, only you can't do that thing with a lightpost while the schoolbuses are out, because then the kids find out what that thing is, and they're not allowed to know until they've completed those standardized tests that we all know were *really* made up because the teachers didn't have a lesson plan for those days & they wanted to go sit in the lounge, drink coffee, and talk about what little cretins we are, and the sad state of parenting nowadays.
you know....the thing.

since I am STILL stuck in my lab, waiting for a fellow TA to help me clean up the Genetics Lab of Evil
Whoa!Whoa!Whoa! You mean to tell me that you're doing your e-mail while doing research involving with DNA? Am I the only one not feeling a sense of security re : genetic developments all of a sudden? *grin*
But those two-headed ferrets are just so cute...
Says you! do you know the kind of ostrascizing those poor creatures have to undergo from the other ferrets? The therapy to follow for years trying to re-build their postive self-image? Don't encourage the Scorned One. I refuse to be party to another's trauma. (Unless I thought it up, it amuses me, that other has pissed me off, or, well. Wait. I've really got no moral high ground here. Never mind. Go ahead with the trauma.)

Oh, and by the way - scullions? There's gonna be retribution for that, boy, don't you worry...

We're already scorning him.... can we egg him next? *g*
SURE!

And you took time away from feeding the misbegoten creatures born of test-tubes and science twisted and perverted to chastize us? Awww... that just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...
You sure that's our boy Bastion here, or just the fact that you had real food on Friday night instead of eating at school and your body's still adjusting to the shock?
Hmmm... that's actually a good point, and it's now up for debate whether fuzziness is coming as a result from Bastion or actual nutrician.
I vote nutrition. No back rub is that good.
and, um, did you see Alien 3? The part with all the failed clones? eew.

Well, if he wants to clone Sigorney Weaver, I say more power to him. An army of Sigorneys (or would it be Sigornies or Sigorni? Points to ponder..) would be unstoppable.
As long as he doesn't clone Winona Rhyder. *insert whiny voice* Hi, I'm waif-esh and starved, and in an effort to save my flagging film career, I'm going to take up the cause of the rebellion of youth, even though I'm just barely shy of thirty. And after that, I'm going to try for sweeping romance with Richard Gere, because he can make me look younger!
I hereby vote that we don't cheer him on in goofing off in the lab. Joss only knows what kind of things might happen to the evolutionary process.....(actually, Joss would know, wouldn't he? He wrote Alien 3. Look! I made a funny! - yah, I know. Looks don't count....)

Claris - but aren't we supposed to cheer on evil in all its many incarnations, save for teenybopper manifestations?
Hey, even I've got a heart. (It's tiny, black, and shriveled, yes....and sadly, that's the only part of me that can be classified as tiny. Whee, off to the gym again! (j/k) )
teenyboppers gotta go, there's no question of that. The rest will have to pass the Board of Us (consisting of you & me, being the almighty powers we are) for approval based on usefulness and whether or not we can gain some measure of amusement out of it.

Hark, Ye who criticize, being lowly beings of the Political Sciences(science? har har..) and the Arts, I be a Molecular Biologist, and have yea been brought low by some virus of my own concoction.
*dubious look* This from the guy that's been sick for the last three weeks? You sure you didn't accidentally infect yourself when you thought you were infecting us?
Heh, that'll teach you to toy with the forces of the flu. Silly Molecular Biologist.
Biology, Schmiology. Who needs it?

Wait, wait, I read that wrong. So you admit to infecting yourself? That doesn't bode well for your later testimony in years to come after you almost bring about the destruction of the human race with one of your f*cked up concoctions and have to defend yourself when they finally manage to catch you & make you answer for your crimes against humanity. You should really start working on the plausible denial now, so that you'll have it all worked out by the time you have to stand in front of that international panel at the U.N.
And since I'll be chairwoman of that international panel, you'll be sorry for mocking the validity of Political Science! *g*
Ooh, good point. Can I do the website for the trial? I think I could have some fun twisting Bastion's testimony to suit our purposes.
WOW! Methinks I see a Time Magazine cover here......Robyn? You in? Oh my Noxon, I just remembered - I have a photo of a certain Scorned One doing the Sock Puppet of Love. If that ain't a cover photo, I don't know what is.

Mock not, ye of the liberal arts houses, because as I arise from the depths of my flu-like illnes,
Once again, that I think you either gave to yourself accidentally or did to avoid answering e-mail.
It's possible that he accidentally infected himself with it (flashbacks to The Hot Zone), and then used that as a convienient excuse to avoid answering e-mail.

Any has anyone ever congratulated you on your spelling? I sure hope not. ;-p
*g* I can't really comment on that area, situated as I am within my glass house.
And we don't expect you to. However, you guys need to read more carefully. I purposely made a spelling mistake in that sentence. Not a one of ya picked up on it.

my brethren and I will chain your scorn to weights of hotpockets and microwaveable chicken breasts and have dominion til the end of days over your liberal arts asses.
You've got brethren? Does that mean I should keep an eye out for a bunch of geeks with pocket protectors (Aw, come on, we all know you've got a small collection of your own!) waving vials of Bastion-created virus at me? Because I will. Not out of fear, just because I always enjoy a good laugh.
I also will laugh in the face of this danger... Then I'll hide until it goes away.
And then I'll tell you to come out, it's safe, and we can point & mock some more. And hey! You can't run! You're supposed to help me defend myself against Sita & Lady Wolfsbane on my wedding day!
Once more into the breach!

You know, when I'm a political puppet-master, pulling the strings of those in elected positions of power, you'll be regretting that remark right about the time that your funding comes up for renewel... *g*
Hey, she's got a point there. But you're off to work for like, a big ol' company after graduation anyway, since, as we both agreed, you can only be a poor student for so long. What do you care about gov't funding, right?
Ah, but what about those nice government contracts? *g* Every big ol' company likes to have a few of those.
And Robyn, got a question : As a political puppet-master, will your soon-to-begin harem be public, or would that be your token dirty little secret?
Oh, the soon-to-be harem will be public. I figure it might appeal to the female vote, so I have 51% of the vote right out of the gate. (The money-laundering and kickbacks will be my token dirty little secret)
*understanding nod* Ah yes, now I understand. All good. Yeah, I'd vote for a woman with men at her disposal. Sure.

This reign of terror and microwavable-food-induced slavery shall only last until we of the House of Arts have completed grad school and grow restless in our positions as burger-flippers... then a Glorious Revolution shall take place, toppling your Oligarchy of Biology and bringing forth sweet democracy and freedom once more!
You have fun with your burger-flippin', girlie. I didn't get my BFA in three years just to spend time there.
The burger-flippin' is just until the world realizes that my books are meant to be best-sellers, and people fall at my feet in abject adoration. So I should be able to make a really good hamburger by the time my potential is realized.
Maybe you could somehow work that into your advertising. OOH! You could do a cooking segment on Regis! Or Rosie!

Other than that, yeah, what she said. And points for the use of "Oligarchy".
*g* No day is complete without mention of an oligarchy.

Oh yes..... The House of Ridley has Spoken!
Hmm. Note to self : cc these to Lady Dao Jones. Of course, she won't respond for a few days, but she's got an excuse. You were just sick. (Physically, this time. The mental illness will never go away.)
*cackle*
Hey, the Lady Dao wholly approved. She said we brightened her day. Which is good. She needs and deserves brightening.

A curse on both your houses!
Isn't there only the one in this case? I completely understand the reference, it's just....well, there's only the one, that's all.
Technically, Bastion belongs to both the House of Conrad and the House of Ridley, so I'm just covering all our bases with the scorning.
Oh, okay, I can understand being thorough. Nothing wrong with thorough. There are time when you just need thorough.

This goes back to that undermining thing, doesn't it?

Makes me glad that you're on my side. I'd hate to see you mad at me. *g*
As you should be. It's not good.

......ps, my twin's name is "Kayak Tom".
Yeah, Lady Dao was trying to get me to go to Lake George with her & meet Kayak Tom. Maybe I'll take her up on that.....*grin*
Take pictures! *g*
Hmm. Only if you're a good girl. (Ah, never mind. I know you. That's just too much to ask.)

Since you're being scorned right now and must number among the ranks of the untouchables, do you think that this 'Tom' would be adverse to being stalked? *g*
Robyn knows what I mean when I point and say, "Poor girl! Poor girl!"
Yes, once again, we're not going to tell you what this means right now, Scorned One. I'll explain that also the next time we see you. Which leads me to an actual question of :
Are you going to Montreal Toronto? Or do we have to wait until Las Vegas in the fall to harass you in person be in the wonder that is your presence again, oh shiny special one?

You know, that just gave me the hysterical mental picture of Bastion pulling a Ben/Glory on us and morphing into Dao. But, then, we've seen them both in the same room, so it probably isn't all that likely. my personal mental psychosis aside, though, I'm hoping that he can get his ass comments to Toronto.
*wiping the laughter tears from her eyes.* Oh my, that's a good one! The red dress, all I can see is the red dress! And : SPOILER supposedly, Ben & Glory will separate forms by the end of the season. So maybe you're not that far off...END SPOILER
Speaking of ass comments, my intended will not be able to attend TO. The cat of death strikes again. So now the Scorned One has to come, just so that Robyn & I have someone to play with.
verbally.

...you know, you're ruining a perfectly good scorning with your accursed use of logic.
So then you're probably not going to like it when I mention that this whole thing would have looked way more fear-instilling if you had activated your html tags so that I didn't get around everything you say. Right?
The House of Snowshoe Hare chooses not to acknowledge this imput from Dame Claris. We are not amused. *g*
Ah, you can get back at me at the wedding. You still have the toast of DOOOOM! to compose, remember?
Side note for the Scorned One : Mr. Whyt & I have decided to get married for seven (Okay, six now) weeks. In setting up the ceremony, we decided that Dao is going to be the best person for Mr. Whyt, and you get to be the flower girl. Not to worry, we'll find you a pretty dress to show off your perpetual five o'clock shadow

Had I met a brother of Bastion, I'm pretty sure that such an event >would have been forever branded upon my memory. In fact, the whole twin business was never brought up. (though my sympathies to the Matron Conrad...)
Wow. I hadn't considered that part.

*stops to ponder some of the antics of herself and her siblings, then tries to imagine if any of them had been twins and turns to the Scorned One*
For the love of Joss - your poor mother!

Exactly. While shame is emparted onto this scion of the House of Conrad, all honors, courtesies, and tokens are emparted onto Matron Conrad.
Yah, what you said. And somebody should give that woman a prize.
*Claris ducks the flying objects hurled at her cranium by the House of Snowshoe for mockage*

Okay.... the newer scorning rules and bylaws have been passed on to the heralds..
I'll bet they're happy to know that......
I'm sensing sarcasm, Dame Claris.... in fact, your sarcasm is so obvious that it's assumed anthromorphonic personification and is sitting next to my desk and drinking my hot cocoa.
Cool! that's kinda like Bastion's clones - my wrath is so forceful it's taking physical proportions! I'm spawning! Hey, the sarcasm isn't tall too, is it?Just because I know what a pain in the ass it can be to find jeans long enough, and I sympathize.

1) None of the ladies of the House of Conrad shall be scorned. (I'm sure that the sister of Lady Dao likewise kicks ass.)
From what I can see, she's not at all evil like a certain person who shall remain nameless *cough*scornedone*cough* proported to me. Although he *did* say the same thing about Lady Dao, and I don't find her a bit evil either.....
Are we sure that there aren't any more Conrads? Yeesh... and they call me the bunny...
None that I know of - *turns to Scorned One* you guys got cousins?

2) The twin of Lord Bastionshall not be scorned, unless he too proves himself to be a foolish, foolish man.
Give him time. He is a man,after all.
Halfway there, granted....
And for that, combined with his Conrad genes, (based on the example of scion Bastion) the poor guy's doomed, isn't he?

Keep on messing up my lovely scorning, and I'm about to invoke a witchcraft charge, Dame Claris!
What? You think that would scare me?
1) like I'd bother denying it.

Your guilt doth shine forth like a beacon of biatchiness. Denial is pointless, and would do nothing but take up valuable space. Of course you would forebare to deny.
Sure. cool! That's actually a pretty good sum-up.

2) that's nicer than I usually get. Most of the time, there's a "b" in for the "w".
The charges of witchcraft are hereby shelved. However, I do plan to bring you up on charges of bitchcraft. Henceforth even the Scorned One shall know your true nature... Not like he doesn't already, but still....
Yah, I think if he had remembered the part where I scared the shit out of him in the middle of the night, Scorned One would be right there supporting your aspersions on my true nature. However, in my defense, I did not work alone, OR without justification.

3) What's your point?
No point. Just making polite conversation during a shunning.
Oh. *shrug* Neat.

And yet, no response from the scorned corner. Either he's managed to finally recover from the flu. (which I would hope for anyone, even the scorned), he's ignoring our tomfoolery, or, well, he is what is it, two hours behind for CO? Probably hasn't gotten up yet. Some people aren't like us, you know. They actually sleep instead of harassing Canadian engineering majors.....
Well, our questions were answered with today's email, but why on earth would anyone want to sleep rather than harass Canadian engineering majors?
I've heard of this thing they call sleep - might give it a try one day. Or, six weeks from now! Wooo!

Claris, these tags are an utter pain to put in... must we all be distinguished by a seperate font? *g*
Yes. I'm slow and usually sleep deprived. And Bastion never got to celebrate St. Paddy's day, so we never know when he'll decide to make up for it, so it's kind to him too. Plus, it's good practce for the Bronze.

---------------------------------

Tertiary Mail :

From: Claris
To: Bastion
Subject: Non-scorny mail
Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001

Okay, I do have actual e for you later on today, but for now.....

You're the flower girl, your sister's the best man, OzLady's gonna hit on the priest, and we haven't told her yet that Anya is the priest. Which makes this SO interesting. Oh, and I wouldn't reccommend rooming with Mr. Whyt next year. He's gonna kill you to gain the cuddle-slut title. *grin*

why no, we're in no way procrastinating from doing work.
Not.
At.
All.

From: Bastion
To: Claris
Subject: Re: Non-scorny mail
Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001

Mr. Whyt gonna kill em huh? Well, tell that little Canadian creep that I'm ready for him.... I'm practicintg my flying through the air Matrix moves and dodging bullets and stuff..... who the hell is getting married?

---------------------------------

Thus ends that line of scorn. Scorn was abandoned for a bit, due to graduations, transferring of educational institutions, & other crap that just was more important than the ongoing derision & scorn of Bastion. However, a bit later, following the opening night of "The Mummy Returns", Scorn was reborn when we derived a means by which the Scorned One could extract himself from this sorry social state. And it all began again.

Scorn.
Naught but scorn directed towards thouÖÖnot only didst thou take actions warranting the effort of heinous scorn, but, in adding insult to injury, thou hast failed to properly defend said actions, and in doing thus, hath exponentially perpetuated the level of scorn heaped upon thy name & person. These scandalous actions taken on your part speak of an immoral nature, the proportions of which are staggering enough to have possibly besmirched the good name of Lady Dao of the thine House. This alone speaks of your utter disregard for the wrath rained down by the combination of the powers of the snowshoe hare & the evil apprentice.
However, we have ascertained a method by which it is possible for thee to achieve partial, if not complete redemption. A personal Shanshu in Colorado, if one will.
What, one might inquire, would be this solution?
Well, we simply request that thou utilize the skills at thine disposal to make reparations for thine scorn-worthy actions. How? We are seizing this opportunity to gain a modicum of satisfaction in this sordid state of affairs.
Therefore, we shall remove this mark of scorn, this mark of the beast that is a blight upon thy familyís name, if thou canst produce either of two options.

a) Rick OíConnell clone. Twice done.
b) Suitable Rick OíConnell substitute. Twice done.
(in both cases, cool leather wristband that suits no actual purpose required.)

Should either of these prove to be beyond the capabilities thou hast so often boasted of and made claim to, thine salvation can only be attained in attendance of thy person at that holy place of eternal forgiveness, as well as a ready source of ever-flowing alcohol & karaoke bars, not to mention the presence of many people of dubious morality (plus Claris).

Where, pray tell, is this Mecca?

Toronto.

Of course, at this point, any response that indicates thou are still alive and have not been eaten by your mutant ferrets, or sickened and died from experimental Hot Pocket technology would be welcome, and might reduce the degree of scorn to which thou art held.
(Maybe)

Regards,
Lady Robyn of Snowshoe
Lady Claris of Bitchonia

Lady Dao the Way Cool, Dame Claris the Bitch, and Scorned One:
I have been accepted into Carnegie Mellon University, where I hope to continue my mission to take over the world through political chains of command -- solely for the purpose of becoming world dictator before a certain Scorned individual who will still be sitting around in his lab with no company save for that of six-legged ferrets.
I have no doubt that his outraged response to this accusation will come in its usual timely manner -- just as I have been crowned Empress. I base this allegation entirely on his eloquent and *prompt* responses that I have recieved in previous personal attempts to relieve him of this title of Scorn that he hath so greviously earned. (this is just me thinkin' of you.)
Perhaps indeed this is why He Who Is Known As Scorned has sought to learn the ways of genetic manipulation, for truly it would almost seem that the gene that makes a response time possible is entirely missing from Scorned One's genetic make-up. Alas, perhaps a trip to Oz is necessary to make up for this most cruel loss --- "If I Only Had A Response Time."
Lady Dao the Way Cool, Dame Claris the Bitch have expressed a desire to make a pilgrimage to Toronto, and there they may both express their congratulations for my great achievement. I would quite hope, then, Scorned One, that you would join this procession and possibly redeem yourself of this weighty and terrible burdon that lies upon thee and thy family name. Else truly will Lady Dao Jones be forced to perform the Dance of Shame.

~Lady Robyn (future Empress) of Snowshoe

Try that again...with tags, & the right e for Dao.... ROBYN! first Vanessa's coffee, now this!

Else truly will Lady Dao be forced to perform the Dance of Shame.
Wow. If I were Dao, I'd kick you ass if I ended up having to do the Dance of Shame because of you.....But maybe that's just me & my violent tendencies talking. All Dao would really have to do for revenge is scan in that pic of you in a dress & release the link on the Bronze.....
You want me to keep going, Dao? I could give ya lots of ideas. *evil grin*
But on a brighter note - hey! Buffy's dead! Whee!
Actually, I have to share this one. because I know the Scorned One is one of those dirty B/A 'shippers. Last night, Golden was making fun of the fact that Cordy said she loved the Gruselaag dude based on the fact that she'd only known him two days. My response : "Yah, because B/A is soooo reality based."

(In his defense, Bastion put this great file up which was a game wherein you could decide how to best do bad things to him. However, he has since taken it down & I can't link to it. He got partial redemption for the self-deprecation.)

Claris, think he redeemed himself with that? *g*
Okay, Robyn - you're forgetting the key part here -
1. He's not going to TO.
2. I don't know about you, but I still am not in posession of a Rick O'Connell clone.
3. If we allow him to redeem himself completely, we don't get to make up all that fun scorn anymore.
*grin* However, I am willing to grant him partial redemption. He's not free of the scorn title yet, but at least now he won't have to worry about the villagers rioting his place with pitchforks & torches. (Or at least, he won't have to worry about such attacks coming from us. We have no idea what the Scorned One does to others in his day to day meanderings.)

Redemption! Pah! As if.....

Who the bloody hell is Rick Connell anyway? And why should I clone him? He'll be unhappy, have all sorts of identity crises and it'll give him a lifelong insecurity complex if his Creator (me) should just pass him along to two (evil) women who want to use him for his body and not his mind. Convince me..... Yes, the Evil Scientist is having moral issues with the fate of his creations.....
-Bastion
PS. Naw, just kidding. Get me some of this Rick Connell's cells and I'll whip up to of him in a jiff and send them off first class mail to you.....

(After which, we recieved this :)

You are going to regret this Rick O'Connell Clone Business, trust me. But in the meantime, something to hold you over.....
RICK DEES, from the Weekly Top 40!!!!!!!!!!

-Bastion
I like to call him "Big Rickie". He's a real stud with the ladies.....

(I'm sorry to say that there was a picture attached. It was just....wrong. Don't ask. In fact, it was so bad that Dao & several other female Bronzers entered the Scorn Ring.)
Dao Jones :
My dear, sweet brother....you are an intensely sick man.

That is all. :-)
-Dao

Better watch it, or I'm sending new and improved versions of Casey Casem and Dick Clark to your house..... :)
"A plague...upon....[all] your houses....." -Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet

Bastion, since I just clawed out my eyes at that hideous, hideous sight, I expect you to replace them for me.
Also --- you would inflict that upon your own sister? Clearly this is no-holds-barred evil science.

(As a consequnce of his evil stupidity, Bastion was costumed according to his role in my wedding.)

*sigh* See, this is why you get scorn, Bastion m'boy. We ask for Rick O'Connell, we get....*shudder* that, which was just wrong on so many levels.
You know, Robyn & I tried. We really did. We give you this great opportunity to escape further scorn, and hell, it even would have taken care of your Christmas present for Dao. But no. You have to make your life difficult. Therefore, you kinda brought this on yourself.
I realize that this particular scorn-o-gram has more CCs than usual...however, I wanted to let the disappointed female Bronzers that were waiting for their clones know that their loss wasn't going unavenged....also, I thought Mr. Whyt might like to see the pic of the flower girl from our wedding. (It was an amicable divorce between Mr. Whyt & I, after all.)
Therefore, I present this scorn - in order to let you know that such nefarious deeds shall not go unpunished.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman doling out scorned".

You are all sooooooo gooing to regret putting me in a dress. 'Sides, I look much better in green. Think Rick Dees was a bad clone present? Well, I'm going to make good on putting a Casey Casem clone in all your stockings this year. He's immortal and he'll never go away. I'll even send along his music request list so you can listen to the best of Voyager, Jefferson Starship, Journey, and probably even some Brian Adams. How do you like them apples, hmmm?
Most Evilly Yours, Bastion

You are all sooooooo gooing to regret putting me in a dress.
No regret in this corner, actually....wanna see some of the dresses we looked at for you? There was this one that looked really Amish....but Anya said it was too cruel to do to a real girl, so we figured you wouldn't be man enough to handle it. *snicker*
As someone who witnessed the dress selection first-hand, trust me, it could've been a lot worse. *shudder* The ribbons, dear god, the ribbons!

'Sides, I look much better in green.
I'll take the into consideration next time we name you Flower Girl. I think it's Robyn's turn to get married next.
Hah, yeah right. I prefer to break up marriages rather than participate with them. Well, apart from the occational Toast of Doooom! Let's marry off Bastion next. I'm sure we could locate a stunning green wedding gown for him.

Well, I'm going to make good on putting a Casey Casem clone in all your stockings this year.
See, that's just cheating. He's already freeze-dried. Where's the scientific challenge there?
Ooh, can you send us all cloned copies of the cryogenically preserved head of Walt Disney? That would be a great stocking-stuffer.

....and probably even some Brian Adams.
So, would this be a bad time to tell you that I *like* Bryan Adams? At least, his old stuff. Now he's just...odd.
I'm a fan of Jefferson Airplane. Was he trying to threaten us or something? *g*

Still Evil, Fearless & Loving it,
Claris

Still Evil's Sidekick, Slightly Fearful, But Enjoying The Ride,
Robyn

---------------------------------

OzLady :
Okay, now I am really frightened. No, not because you can't spell Kasey Kasem, Bastion, but because I actually *like* all of those artists you mentioned. Maybe I am the one deserving of scorn...nah!
;-)

Mr. Whyt :
wow Bastion you're one sexy flower girl/she-male

---------------------------------

Note to self - do not send e & play fetch with the dog at the same time.
(sorry folks. I was born blonde, and sometimes I just can't hide that fact)

Ozlady : It's not just Kasey Kasem's name that Bastion can't spell ...*grin*

Robyn : I cannot believe that you managed to work in the crygenically preserved head of Walt Disney. Although, wouldn't it be wicked fun to play the alphabet game in e-mail? Oh dear. Then we wouldn't have to worry about getting stared at by everybody else waiting for the delayed plane - complete freedom of speech!
On second thought....maybe that wasn't the best idea I've ever had.

Mr. Whyt :
wow Bastion you're one sexy flower girl/she-male
See, now aren't you glad we picked him? Excellent choice on our parts, I think.
Okay, time for an off-topic question. Now, for those of you that don't know, I've recently....acquired a one year old Weimerater from the people I'm renting from this summer. (Why? because some people just shouldn't be allowed to have animals, that's why. Speaking of which - who wants a kitten? We've got seven!) Now, when I get her spayed (Nope, she's not spayed or trained. hence the reason she was confiscated by me.) - can I have them install a set of brakes when they remove the hormones? Because I don't think she came equipped with them.

(And the last entry I have for scorn would be the one wherein Bastion threatens my life - I just wanted to have this recorded in case I show up dead somewhere......)

I am the Evil Scweppe of Essence, the kind they can't get John Clease to promote on TV. Just wait, and picture this insidious torture, my little Claris...... you will be tied to the boathouse, just a few feet from the water, covered in tabasaco sauce... and at night, the water raccoons come.......... [fill in more torture here]

Don't worry - I'm sure he'll do something to warrant more scorn - we'll keep you updated....

September, 2001
~ Madness of the Past....