Our sad little lives, your comic relief.

So... ants... How do I get rid of them?
- Jipsy Girl

you acquire an aardvark, problem solved.
- Mr. Whyt

Mr Whyt, You Canadians make me sick. You think Aardvarks are the solution for everything. Why don't you stop pushing your liberal Aardvark agenda on the rest of the world, okay, buddy?
- Bastion Ridley

Mr Whyt Ooh! I like that idea - now, do aardvarks get on with dogs?

Bastion There's an aardvark agenda? I actually think there is a hippo agenda - an advert today told me that there is a house hippo in every house. They are small, about the size of Guinea pigs and come out to swim in dog bowls! I was quite heartbroken when I found out it was actually to tell me to not believe everything I saw on the tele. Gits!
- Jipsy Girl

Jipsy Girl I don't see why they wouldn't. You should get one of each, and perform a scientific study on the problem. I suggest doing it in a large metal dome, a Thunderdome if you will, where 2 mammals will enter and 1 will leave.

Bastion if you americans spent less time spanking your monkies and more time hugging your aardvarks you'd be a happier people like us canucks. There's no agenda man, there's only the pure unadulterated love between a man and his aardvarks, man.
- Mr. Whyt

Mr Whyt Where do that leave me on the ant situation though? Ooh! I remember Seska mentioning vodka! Now... do I give the vodka to the ants or to the aardvark, and is this before or after the thunderdome?
- Jipsy Girl

MrWhyt Two fairly important things.
1.) While Canadian monkeys may be well-behaved, down here the get into trouble all the time. Corporal punishment is really the only thing they begin to understand.
2.) Your relationship with your aardvark is wholly unnatural, and you should seek some professional help.

- Terwilliger

Jipsy Girl well you can have the aardvark take care of the ant problem before Thunderdome. I would suggest not giving the vodka to the aardvark before Thunderdome it would taint the study.

Terwilliger You're just perpetuating the cycle of violence man, hate breeds hate, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, monkey see, monkey do. As for me and my aardvarks, whats unnatural about love?
- Mr. Whyt

MrWhyt: Between a man and an aardvark? Plenty.
- Terwilliger

Terwilliger but aren't we all brothers? man, aardvark, monkey, giant octupus, tiny ant? We're all the same inside.
- Mr. Whyt

MrWhyt: You think of him as your brother, too?
Truly, your Canadian depravity knows no bounds.

- Terwilliger

Jipsy_Gurlie: I am sorry for the Mother's Day skeer. Also, I cannot recommend that you provide alcohol to your ants. Remember the trial of Seska in a similar incident. It wasna pretty. I also suggest that a battle between aardvark and dog might be unwise. Why have PETA chasing after you if you don't need to?
Let them chase after Mr. Whyt before Mr. Whyt decides to share a link about man/aardvark love the way someone (I think it was Psycho Sam) did for man/dolphin love. ack!

- AdriLilith

Mr. Whyt -- I understand that aardvarks have extremely long, sticky tongues. You also have to clip their toenails to keep them from ruining the furniture.
- Dianne

MrWhyt Red and squishy? - Jipsy Girl

Terwilliger truly the American intolerance for Canadian depravity is boundless.

Jipsy Girl exactly!! We're all red and squishy. Its the brotherhood of red squishyness.
- Mr. Whyt

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and aardvarks?
Rafelea Gabriella Sasparilla
found a kangaroo that followed it home and now it is hers
but I can't say that.
Cause she found an aardvark
that fell in love with her and they're so happy..

- DarkLady

MrWhyt : Well, if monkey see monkey doo, then monkey should clean it up. I'm just sayin'!

Terwilliger : You know, I really don't get why we Americans are allowed to be depraved and the Canadians aren't. Come on, it's good to share.
- Leather Jacket

Haven't been by in a while, and this is just a drive by, but I see some of the boys are talking about monkey and aardvark love again. Boys, I think you're supposed to be lusting after Charsma Carpenter -- here's some of the pics that were NOT selected for her Playboy shoot.* Leave the animals alone.
- Narrator

Mr Whyt,
Love your pets, just don't love your pets. My Monkee is bad, he needs a regular regimen of spankings to keep him in line. Sometimes I have to 'Shock and Awe' him into obedience, with bombs, like these.thanks, Narrator
RE: We are all the same inside + aardvarks
Don't go there, man. Don't go there.
Jipsy Girl, I am betting on the aardvark. No way a pigmy hippo is going to leave Thunder Dome after the OddVaarken is through with him. Once the Odd Vaarken tastes blood, they go berserker and finish off the pigmy hippo in five seconds.

- Bastion Ridley

Leather Jacket: It's not that we disallow others to be depraved, but that we're really picky about the ways we'll allow them to be. Were it just a non-immediate relative dressed like an aardvark there'd be no trouble, regardless of gender. Incestual beastiality, however, is just wrong. See the difference?
- Terwilliger

Mr. Whyt :
1. YOU my friend, need some damn sleep. have someone wake you up for your eyedrops, but nap in between, dude. Naps are your friend!
2. very important point about pets - Us......Them. Say it with me now.....Us..... Them. There. see? Boundaries, they're good.

Seska's Vodka Ants.
In other news, it might be time for me to get new friends....naaaaaah....

- Claris

Bastion Oh I don't know - despite being tiny, the hippo looks like it could hold it's own. Powerful creatures, the hippos, even the house hippos

Claris Ah ha! Now that covers getting ants drunk with the vodka. Despite them being tiny, I'm thinking it would require a lot of vodka to accomplish this, therefore, rather than waste good vodka, I feel that a small puddle on the floor would attract rather a lot, hopefully including the queen. At which point, whilst they are all drinking merrily, I could set fire to the gits.

Adri Am I right in thinking that I could claim under provocation and therefore not be charged with ant-murder?
- Jipsy Girl

Jipsy_Girl, DeMoriel - I think you should blame Claris for the ants. She keeps documents that might frighten an antkeeper about evictions. Clearly she's in cahoots with them.
- white wings

The ants have spread. No longer content with beating a little path around the one cupboard, they have now spread along 4 other cupboard, got into the one where we keep all the tinned foods/cleaning products, etc and have been trying to get into the dishwasher (no.. I didn't get this one either).
I have sprayed liberally all over tha areas I have seen them, taking care to avoid the counters, so I'm hoping that this will start to get rid of them during the night. I'm going to spray every night until I have got rid of the little blighters. I'm just hoping they don't decide to nest in the tinned goods cupboard if any are stuck in there! Not best pleased.
Now I just have to make sure puppy dog doesn't go in the kitchen without me and doesn't step on the areas sprayed as I don't want her licking her feet and getting sick!
I'm now feeling really itchy and have even had to put my hair up in a make-shift bun. The ponytail was swinging against my neck making me think something was running along it!

- Jipsy Girl

Who will win in the match of Jipsy Girl vs. the Ants We're Not Allowed to Waste Vodka On? Will Mr. Whyt get his Aardvark o' Lurve so he can prove to Bastion & Terwilliger that we are indeed all just red & squishy inside? Will Narrator ever post in Camp again? The answers to these exciting questions & more next time on As the Camp Turns - Live from the Thunderdrome...

~ May 8 - 9, 2004

~ Madness of the Past....