Claris ~ I...oh god, what does one say? I read the naked quidditch game fic. It was BRILLIANT. But my god, I worry about Anya...
- Catriona

And Ron and Hermione have been making out behind the broomsticksheds since the middle of Chamber of Secrets - didn't you read the tiny footnote on page 106?;)
- Seska

I finished HP5 last Sunday. I am now re-reading it. Also, I am planning how to get to Scotland and force JK Rowling to finish the next two books right the hell NOW. Drat her!!
- Narrator

Claris I fear Anya more than you now. I tremble at the thought of what you might do to catch up.
- Mr. Whyt

If you're going to date an out of stater, pick one who's state sells liquor on Sunday. Specially when it's required for a recipe that day.
- Little Sister

Puppy was very upset that I decided to go to work today. She wanted to play outside, and in fact when she went to squat to pee, decided she'd rather just go all the way down and lay on the grass instead. It was like she just gave up and decided to be lazy.
- Closet Buffyholic

Have Birth Control, no problem. What the hell? I'm not saying go Catholic & marry the man you screw, I'm saying seize the fish
- Anya

Anya : I reserve the right to predjudice.
Claris : How is that different from any other time?

I am hungry. I am also hormonal. Things that generally end in tragedy
- Closet Buffyholic

clearly eiddy needs more actual work to do at work. she also needs to stop getting busted as often as she does. Though her boss was intrigued by the boxers and the thong. but then, who can blame him?
- eiddy

I'll have to settle for stomping around the office whispering "Ruffy smash!" just barely loud enough for people to know for certain that's what they heard.
- RTBS

Hrm. maybe we can reverse this SARS-related tourism disaster (which I still have many conspiracy theories about) by luring people up here with our new same-sex marriage rights! Woo hoo!
Come to Canada! Be gay! Get married!
- Chrissy

Fun with Nextels :
Mr. Willa : I am a hypochondriac.
Closet B : luckily your cat isn't. what's your 20?
Mr. Willa : I'm at the airport. I have to take pictures of a guy who is selling tickets to heaven.
Closet B : the actual heaven?
Mr. Willa : yep.
Closet B : you know, the Catholics used to do that.
Mr. Willa : that's what this guy figures, as well as all other religions, so he might as well see some action out of it.
Closet B : huh. does he later push the people out of his airplane to make sure they go to heaven soon?
Mr. Willa : he doesn't fly planes, he just works at the airport.
Closet B : I worry about the stability of airline industry workers. it makes you fear.
Mr. Willa : not if you bought a ticket.
Closet B : good marketing idea.

Something just clicked where it wasn't supposed to, and now the part of my body that would be my spleen except it's on the wrong side is really sore. Except it feels like two bones have clicked together or something, and dude? There aren't any bones there. Freeeeaky.
- Catriona

I was giggling away to myself during the exam, because I kept thinking of moppety dressed up in a dalmation outfit. Heeeeeeeee.
- Catriona

Of course, now Dexter's Lab. is on. Yay! No more freaking Pokemon.
(Yes, I could turn the channel. But I'm pretending that I am not watching tv.)
- SarahNicole

Fortunately, however, I wants me lots of worldly possessions. So my natural avarice overcomes my inherent slothfulness, and compels me to work. It's amazing how just the proper balance of Deadly Sins practically adds up to virtue.
- Sam

yes, that just about sums up my day.
I'll just be over here mixing alcohol with codeine if you need me.
- Divaliving

They're stealing my thoughts again. Time to go back to the tin-foil helmet.
- nails

Sam : Shut it, bitch.
Sam : Why is it when you say that, I can hear it in my head with this slightly amused and vaguely affectionate tone of voice, but when I say it, I suddenly sound like Nathan Fillion playing a mysoginistic bastard on Buffy?
Claris : It's part of my charm. Sorry.

Nah. It wasn't subconscious. I was very deliberately connecting my ass and Colin Farrell in my head...
- DarkLady

And I even left off the "you psycho hose beast" comment there at the end! You would all be so proud.
- Closet Buffyholic

Claris ~ You no longer work in Hollywood? *sigh* It's the end of a dream... (The dream of me living vicariously through your tales of appearing as a cowboy whore and giggling away to myself, true. But a dream nonetheless.)
- Catriona

Yikes, you can stop trying to one up me in the personal calamity area now. I give.
- CBBro

Just when you think you're as far away from civilization as you'll ever get, there's a sign saying "leaving wilderness protection area, entering wilderness."
- Megdalen

Someone left a body in the road. Bastards. A body! In the road! Fucking up traffic for miles! Ya know, where I'm from, that's what we've got lakes & rivers for. Jeezum.
- Claris
A body in the road? WTF? Haven't these people watched any mob movie or an episode of the Sopranos? You cut them up into easily disposable parts and then dump them randomly, or you leave them in the car and send the car off to the crushers, or you arrange a "meeting" in the desert (or any secluded area) where you whack them and dump them into a prepared hole.
Frickin amateurs.
- Mr. Whyt

pfft. I honestly don't know why I'm dragged out into these situations if I'm not allowed to force people to buy things.
- eiddy

but I didn't like the cinnabun one, it made me hungry in a creepy way, and I told the lady that no real man I knew smelled like their Real Man scent, and I think she was probably really grateful when we left.
- eiddy

I feel there should be some kind of naming ceremony. Possibly with a velvet cape, and frogs.
- Catriona
Catriona - Don't forget the tasselled hat! There must be a hat with tassels!
- Sarah
For the record - I'm good with tasselled hats.
Just so long as the boy wearing it is nekkid
- Antipodean

the fear of being arrested is a powerful motivator. at least next time i'll know that there's nothing illegal about nekkid pictures.
- Polgara

Hmm... Friday. Two days away from Monday.
...somehow it looses it's spark when you consider that.
- Cate

i don't want there to be a language barrier if i have to scream profanities 'cause someone who isn't me hits a nerve.
- Polgara

They say the mind is the first thing to go. What if I never had it to start with?
- Anya

What frightens me is the scope and scale of Geekitude implied by this test. Somewhere out there, there is a person three times Geekier than I am.
Ponder that, and know fear.
- Sam

If they'd had more big robot questions on that geek quiz, you'd have cleaned up..
- Claris
Yes. Yes I would have.
If sacrificing small childrengoats to Unicron on an altar made of solid steel is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
- Sam

:) I love working you up to the inevitable *bap*
- Golden

I sent a copy of the e-mail to the ass-chewing ass clown that clearly demonstrates who made what decisions... and he doesn't care! "It's your job to make sure the right decision gets made in these matters. And when they don't, it's your job to take the responsibility, even if you didn't make the decision." The phrase, "I fail to understand your troll logic" was quite nearly uttered aloud.
- RTBS

Anyone know how to change the fan belt on a 95 Saturn? Been struggling with it for 2 hours and still about 1 inch shy of actually getting it on.
Edited to add: Claris if totally gonna take that last sentence out of context and mock me isnt she?
- Mr. Whyt

also mooooooppety re: those bears. They can be taught to fly ya know. Plenty of koalas have been sent across the Pacific. Although, now that I think on it, I don't recall any that have made the return journey. What's up with that?
- Antipodean

I feel the need to vent about the assholes I have to deal with at work, but the flames would probably burn the place to the ground.
- paksenarrion

BWAH!
*g* You so have cooties now. Delusional bitch cooties.
- Robyn

Frankly, as long as there are giant fucking robots smashing the hell out of everything, I couldn't care less.
- Sam

And I can't believe you let the bondage go.
Wait-this is Claris' email, isn't it?
- Little Sister

gah! he's just SO FUCKING HOT.
not fair. i shouldn't be expected to produce actual work under these conditions.
- Polgara

In other news it is good to hear that I am not the only idiot in the world. Apparently many of the clever, clever people who I know online are also quite impressively stupid.
Thankyou all for that.
- PDR

ya know, my friends don't kill people. We jsut invade Canada for fun
- Claris

Okay, I"m two questions in, & I'm laughing out loud . I don't know if this is because it's actualy funny, or because now I know I can bring this up for my personal amusement later.....
- Claris

On the upside, Rochester calls its courthouse the Hall of Justice. I felt like I'd wandered into an episode of Superfriends. If they ever did an episode of Superfriends about a felony rape trial, anyway.
(Which could happen. You gotta watch Aquaman. Dude don't get no action. Unless you count the terrible, unspeakable things he does with mind controlled ocean animals...)
- Sam

Claris ~ I went to the website, and I looked around, and I found Sam's page about the really cool-looking physic chemicals, and I laughed til no oxygen got to my brain. I'm sitting here, bright blue, and plotting your death.
Just to give you a heads-up.
- Catriona

The good thing about leaving Buffy open ended is that there are all these possibilities. But the bad thing about leaving Buffy open ended is that there are all these possibilities. . . .
- MeeB

Anything for you. ;) Actually, I find the prospect of being interviewed by you exciting in an amusement park kind of way . . . if, y'know, the amusement park had nekked lesbians, lots of whiskey, and demon karaoke. :)
- Golden

The important thing to note:
I'm not bitter.
- Anya
I'm sorry...have you met you?
- Claris

are you being menaced by Cuban gangsta children with little or no supervision?
- Closet Buffyholic

Kazaa is just making me come. Sorry. But it's true. I have downloaded like 100 songs already and I don't get nay popup ads because I have a nice firewall and it's all just better than sex....
- newfan

If she doesn't watch her step I'm going to show her the quick way to the street level.
- Little Sister
(Little Sister & the possible victim were on...eh, I think it was the 23rd storey at that point.)

And the new day has me at home with my shiny new broadband connection. Downloady goodness is mine!
- Amish Boy
Amish Boy - Ooh. Broadband. Copyright fraud, TO THE MAX! *devil fingers wheedly guitars*
- clarrie
clarrie - Tsk. Is that all you can think about? I'm sure AB is going to use his new broadband for a legitimate home-based business use. Amish Boy - Psst. There are a lot of surprisingly good quality Farscape avi's out there. ;)
- Kansas

Oh, and speaking of deadlines, WOO HOO and WICKED CONGRATS to Bastion for succesfully hunting and killing two, count 'em, TWO Masters Degrees! You go!
No, really, go. You need a job now. :)
- Closet Buffyholic

She's going to be "backpacking" through greece with a roller bag. I told her to watch out for cobble stones. I think the kids are gonna make fun of her. :)
- 'stina

Someone has given me too much wine. They will learn. Yes.
- Seska

Claris: hey. are you out drinking? You shouldn't be!
I don't know why you shouldn't be.....just 'cause I'm irritable.
Auto response from Sam:
It has come to the attention of this administration that Sam's brain is harboring a number of functional brain cells. This is clearly in violation of a number of Pitt resolutions, and as such the campaign to get those brain cells bombed has begun. The campaign has been named by our alcohol experts: Shots and Awe.
Claris : Riiiight. that's what I thought.

And I was itching to say something about*name deleted*'s post, but what on earth does one say? "Dictionary.com: learn it, live it, love it." "For the love of little apples, could you please reread your post. If you can't read it, no one else can." Or, and I must say this is my favourite, "Does anyone else remember when members of this community had enough pride in their own words and respect for others to actually write something that didn't read as if it had been written by a three-year-old spider monkey? No? Just me?"
- Catriona

awww fuck me (no, really, it's okay. I'm over 21. sigh)
- Antipodean

Am at Ms. Whyt's house, where her computer has an ergonomic keyboard and a trackball. I fear it might be time to run for the hills.
- Mr. Whyt

i think i scared them into hiding by actually using punctuation.
- Catriona

Am reliably informed by previous employees of personel dept, that interviews come after job giving decision/reference checking and are merely to check that one isn't a obvious mentalist.
Still, give how obvious my mentalism occasionally is, I'll still not count my chickens...
- clarrie
It's always kind of odd when you read a sentence, a thought pops into your head, and then there it is in the very next sentence.
Oh, hi clarrie.
- nails

Stupid fortune in my fortune cookie today: Promote Literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today. That's not a fortune, it's an ad.
- St. Germain

Now, it's blatantly hypocritical of me to make any derogatory comment towards anyone's dancing, but this girl was on a solo mission to give white people dancing a bad name...
- PDR

MORMON CRICKETS INVADING WESTERN STATES!
it's not so much the deforestation or incessant chirping that's got folks worried, it's that they keep riding their little bikes around in those little coats and ties asking if people have heard the "other" gospel of Jesus Christ!
- Closet Buffyholic

heh. I'm contemplating hunting down the last web designer here & beating him to death for crappy work. If that happens, I was with you the WHOLE TIME, okies?
- Claris
Suuuuure. I'll cover for you. No problem. *scuffs shoe on floor and glances away, whistling*
- Golden

My question: Does one bring a gift to a shotgun type wedding reception? If so, what sort of gift?
- 'stina
Condoms?
- Little Sister
oh, you beat me to it.
- kenickie

clarrie : Hmpfh! After Ogre provides a link to "socks with sandals" which is actually ... socks with sandals, you think I'm gonna be following any of the links posted here for a while?
- Leather Jacket

I mean, I'll vote for whatever Dem makes it through but I want it to be one that can actually win. Because, I love Canada but I don't have a job there yet, so I don't really look forward to trying to find one, ya know?
- Amberlynne

I realized then that the one benefit of being at a state of highest possible extreme alarm for an entire flight means that there really isn't anywhere to go, freakout-wise, when your plane actually does do something scary. It's like you're already prepared.
- pinktyrant

And I must laugh the laugh of the evil as the love of America's Next Top Model take over my friends list. Oh yes, you resisted the Hos in the Snow, you resisted TAR, but you will not resist against queen Tyra.
AHAHAHHAHAHA!
- KitCat

he's just the latest in a long line of celebrity boyfriends I've used for my own purposes and then discarded...
- DarkLady

See... I was gonna say "We're not hiding. We're elitist." but I wasn't sure if that would go down as funny as it sounded in my head. And I always try to listen to the vioces. They know things.
- Moppety
moppety - The problem I find is that the voices tend to get into arguments, making it very difficult to sort out what they're saying.
- Sarah
Sarah my voices tend to agree with eachother. They're always "Kill them, Kill them all!!!" and the helpful one says "dont forget your pants".
- Mr. Whyt

Poor Strom. He never got over the defeat of the Confederacy, during which I think he was actually alive. Sheesh.
- Closet B

Have a nice day everyone. I'm off to do the bidding of the ass-clowns.
- RTBS

Claris - Nonsense.  Everyone has spent their summer vacations loading cases of shotgun shells... ... ... They haven't?
- white wings

I need a hobby. Or a life. Preferably a life.
- Anya

Back to my larger, new and improved salt mine!
- RTBS

And they all thought the same way I did! It was like being on LJ but, you know, actually in a room with the people!
- Amberlynne

Well...there were hands in clothing where they shouldn't have been in public with a boy I'd only met two hours before and who's name I so don't remember.
I loved Ireland.
- KitCat

Okay so that would hypnotized not hyponotized. I don't actually know what it means to be hyponotized but I suspect it's not good.
- Kristen

I don't fight these people. I complain about them afterwards, because they're all a part of this plot to get m...
Perhaps I've said too much.
- Xanderella

Claris ~ !!!!!!! Come to Ireland! I will gladly tour you anywhere in the North or South you want to go. God. You, me and Anya, somewhere in the middle of Belfast. And they think the Troubles were bad...
- Catriona

Evil Boss is in office today and tomorrow for audit.  If I don't post again, I didn't survive the audit.  (Although, If I don't make it, mebbe I can take her with me..... Hmmmm)
- Narrator

Join us...Join us...A commune isn't a commune without an American and toddlers.
- Clarrie

This is a ctrl-f scroll. I am busy. I hope none of you misspelled my name. There will be a test at the end.
- Seska

Still working on crafting my self-evaluation, in which I have said I suck and this is pointless anyway because no one is getting any kind of raises for at least another sixteen months, and by then I'll probably be fired for my attitude. woo! I think I may have to fine tune that a bit.
- Closet B

There was a potato salad incident, but all was well...
- 'stina

What a fuck-wit.
Hey! My spell-checker approves of "fuck-wit".
- Leather Jacket

He's more random than 10 Claris' jacked up on caffeine.
- Little Sister

Just because he got married doesn't mean he's not gay. The fact that he has no fashion sense means he's not gay!
- Leather Jacket

my boy is smart, dammnit. smart, and hung over. okay, intellectually smart. :) - Closet B

Oh lord, somebody stop me. I sound like a fuckin' Hallmark card. (Can I say 'fuckin'?) - Miller's Angel

If we had a cry-translator, I'm sure his response to me would have translated as, "Fuck you, mommy, and the horse you rode in on. You're all going down."
- Xanderella on the joys of motherhood

Anyhoodle, shit seems to happen where kids are concerned. I suspect the only solution is what a friend (and new father-to-be) suggested last evening: velcro. Industrial-strength velcro on the kid and on the floor so, for example, they can't fall down the stairs--they'll just hang there.
- Sarah, on being an auntie.

This disturbingly random message was brought to you by my ever-increasing insanity. On we go.
- Catriona

test for h. pylori came back negative, so we're back to thinking the pain is due to alien gestation.
- Dianne

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the large wooden structure hit you in the head while you're trying to open a ceremonial curtain.
- Leather Jacket

YOu could have a scrubbing and beer event and get everyone on their knees.
- OzLady

Back from the dentist
they shot me so full of novacaine that the right side of my face refuses to do what i tell it to, so i spent the entire drive home making faces in the mirror and laughing my ass off.
i'm thinking once the novacaine wears off, the funny will be gone.
- Polgara

Chrissy: hee
Claris' away msg: Showering...for the good of all.
Chrissy: your Saturday night is as cool as mine

('cause it's not like we sell anything that the FDA makes standards for & we're like, responsible for people's health & crap. Oh. No. Wait......)
- Claris

we'll see today..i'm not leaving without a job...i'm a go getter i'm pumped i'm the cho i'm NOT LEAVING WITHOUT A GODDAMN JOB WITH BENEFITS LIFE IF NOT FAIR WHERE'S MY GUN? I'M NOT LEAVING THAT OFFICE TIL THEY OFFER ME THE JOB!! i'm not crazy just driven;)
wish me luck or else give me bail money for my birthday
- Cho

You've gone and embraced that which I accused you of being all along. You've embraced your inner crack-whore, and now I am ready to embrace you.
- RTBS

Oh - I want this house. Dammit. We never should have even looked at it. I'd contemplate leaving my husband and children for this house, but since it's only about a half mile from where we now live, they'd find me, and then there'd be complaining.
- Xanderella

I despise cooked mushrooms, although I have to admit that Portabellos have begun to grow on me. But not literally.
- Closet Buffyholic

Thank you. That post almost certainly saved me a drunken bitchslapping at the hands of several middle aged ladies come NovaCon.
- clarrie

The *thrall* will soon again be well out of control. Now where did I put my drunken gay army?
- Xanderella

That is all. Move along. I'll just sit in the corner, glassy-eyed and drooling from fear-induced hysteria.
- St. Germain

Anya: Their [Karen & Queenie] birthday's are in Sept. I should take a look about that.
Claris They're both in Sept? They're not twins are they? I didn't think so.
Anya: No, it would seen their parents just happened to have seasonal sex

Translation? I'm cheating. Blatantly, unabashedly cheating.
Today's lesson in morality was brought to you by the Russian Pairs Figure Skating Association and the French League of Ice Skating Judges.
- Claris

you know, you don't wear pants ONCE, FOUR years ago...
- Kenickie

I'm proud to say that I'm the guy that quoted the Bible verse that launched the invasion. Hopefully, it won't hold it against me come judgement day.
"But Jesus! I was only trying to spread your message of love! To counter the message of hate that was being spread at the Bronze!"
"Yes, but others took your efforts as a call to invade Canada."
"Ah hell."
"Exactly."
- RTBS

all of you who can read fast enough to finish an 800+ page book in one day - i hate you all.
- Polgara

Posted: June 19 2003,07:29
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will not spend the day refreshing the FedEx.com page tracking my Harry Potter shipment.
I will not spend the day refreshing the FedEx.com page tracking my Harry Potter shipment.
I will not spend the day refreshing the FedEx.com page tracking my Harry Potter shipment.
No. Really. I won't. Stop laughing.
It left Lexington, Ky. at 8:01 a.m. Whee!
- MeeB

Posted: June 19 2003,13:20
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just, you know, FYI. . . FedEx truck driver is taking own sweet time getting from Lexington to DC area. Damnit.
If you think this is bad, just wait 'til tomorrow when I'm waiting for the actual delivery. Whee!
- MeeB

Posted: June 19 2003,14:46
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Memphis?! Memphis!?!Seven hours later, and my book is in Memphis. And it's going the wrong way!
*sob*
tell me the truth. the stress of my job is starting to show, isn't it?
- MeeB