|
| Our sad little lives, your comic relief. |
 |
|||||
|  |  |  | |  |
          
|
|
Once there was a Design major named Claris with seven weeks until graduation and a take home Physics test that involved essays, and making up your own problems. Because, the professor said, "It'll be fun!" (*grumble *grumble*) And thus, our story begins...
MrWhyt: awww, well i try my best to please my seven week wife Then, the next night, the planning began in a four-way AIM that made this poor little Claris decide that the next time she gets married, we're making use of the chatroom option in AIM....
Claris: lookit all the people on! Neat! Robyn TSH: I'm talking to OzLadyand we came up with a truly EVIL idea! *g* Claris: And what have you two concocted? Robyn TSH: *g* It's a crowded night tonight. Robyn TSH: X-Files parody. Claris: I know! I've got seven out of 34 on! Robyn TSH: OzLady is Woxa Sculder. (she's both Mulder & Scully). You, me, and Nancy are the Lone Bronzerpersons. I'm Frohike (OzLady says it's because of the glasses. should I be paranoid?) You're Langley, and Little Sister is Byers. Claris: *laughter* And I haven't even told you about my seven week marriage yet! Robyn TSH: Ooh, who's getting a greencard off you? *g* Claris: Mr. Whyt. Claris: I asked him if he would marry me for the last seven weeks until I graduated since he helped me with my Physics homework last night. Robyn TSH: *g* ooh, lucky you. So now he's your biatch? Robyn TSH: *cackle* Aww... it's nice to know engineers. Especially cute Canadian ones. Claris: no, he's just my Physics cheat Robyn TSH: Ooh, and I hear there's a bitter divorce in the future? *g* ( I love talking to many people at once) Claris: yes! That's part of the fun! An explosive blow-up! I was joking that we coul dhave the longest WITT ever! Robyn TSH: Coool! :-) I get to be in the bridal party, right? Claris: YES! Sure! Robyn TSH: Cool! *g* Can I make a toast at the reception, disavowing this marriage and predicting only doom? (Doom I tell you! DOOOOOM!) Claris: Yeah. Mr. Whyt just nominated Bastion Ridley to be the flower girl. We gotta start making a list. Robyn TSH: BWAH! *cackle* This should be fuuuun. Robyn TSH: *g* I'm maid of honor, right? Claris: Sorry, OzLady beat you to that - ìI want to be the Matron of Honor who flirts with the priest! ;-)î Robyn TSH: :-) Matron and maid are different. Claris: but she'll be busy trying to shag the priest, so you'll have plenty of oppportunity to make your toast. Robyn TSH: The matron shags the priest, and the maid tries to shag the best man. Robyn TSH: *cackle* Claris: Mr. Whyt says to ask for the press release. Robyn TSH: he he he... ask him to tell you about the butter, first. Claris: I can't believe you used anthropomorphic! Robyn TSH: Okay, can I be the head bridesmaid, then? *g* Though for the first time, a bridesmaid will be trying to shag the flower girl. Robyn TSH: *lol* Reading the email? Claris: Yah Robyn TSH: heh. Claris: Okay, he just 'fessed up to the butter. Claris: your turn - go! Robyn TSH: ìIt is a sad day today in the Bronze. Last night, Mr. Claris (previously known as Mr. Whyt) was discovered dead. A strangely happy grin was frozen onto his face, so we may at least take the comfort that he went out happy.... police are still investigating, and ask that anyone who has information about butter contact them immediately." Claris: do you know what I'm doing right now? I'm making alist of the part everyone is playing in the wedding party. Claris: that went in under your name Robyn TSH: *cackle* This should be fun. Robyn TSH: Huh? Robyn TSH: Claris! Get Chris Goldento be the priest! Claris: I know! Claris: Yes! Claris: I don't know, OzLady's got the mission of trying to shag the priest. Robyn TSH: *g* How much do you love me for that? Robyn TSH: Good point... drat. He'll have to walk you down the aisle. *g* Um.... who's shaggable? Claris: yeah, he is "Dad". Robyn TSH: Ah. 'kay. Claris: I just nominated Blade Robyn TSH: *cackle* I noticed. Passed the idea along to OzLady. Robyn TSH: *eg* Yeah, she's definitely in. Robyn TSH: Have you responded to any of the latest scorn letters? Claris: so, Blade for the priest? Claris: Not yet. I've been planning my weddding. Robyn TSH: Sounds good. *g* I think it would be fun. Robyn TSH: Heh. *lol* True. Claris: I'm LMFAO at it. Robyn TSH: :-) Claris: So Mr. Whyt's just supposed to not draw attention away from me? Robyn TSH: *g* Exactly. Robyn TSH: Oh, did you hear that a goat is your ring-bearer? Claris: sinc ewhen? Robyn TSH: Pitched the idea to Mr. Whyt. Assumed it had been filtered. Like it, or should that part be canned? Claris: Is this a random goat, or The Goat the poster? Because I don't know them Robyn TSH: Oh, random goat. The kind Fury was sacrificing. We could put it in a little tuxedo. Claris: Okay - OR, we could have it wearing Fury pants! Robyn TSH: Yes! Claris: Okay, I need all of these AIMs C&P-ed to me in e so that I can format them. Robyn TSH: *g* Go bug your fiance about it. Claris: Come on! you're the only other one talking to OzLady too! Robyn TSH: Will do, will do... Claris: Okay, I'm gonna sign off for a bit and go to my sister's apt. she's not there, and I won't disturb anyone with my seeemingly random laughter Robyn TSH: Gotcha. Plus, I have to scamper. Will be back in half an hour. Claris: cool@ Auto response from Robyn TSH: At 11:30, I shall return! Fear not, sweet peons!
Claris: Hey! Mr. Whyt : robyn!! Robyn TSH : Mr. Whyt !!! Mr. Whyt : me!! Robyn TSH : *lol* you! Mr. Whyt : you!! Mr. Whyt : so whats up? Robyn TSH : It's snowing! Mr. Whyt : oooh poor you Robyn TSH : *g* Damn Canadian. It's one thing for you to get snow, but down here in lower New England, we don't *get* snow past the middle of March! Mr. Whyt : i dont have any snow right now Robyn TSH : Damn you. *g* Mr. Whyt : O:-) Robyn TSH : *g* Mr. Whyt , I hear that you're marrying Claris for a greencard? Mr. Whyt : that and for the privlege of posting as Mr. Claris Robyn TSH : Bwah! *lol* Mr. Whyt : :-) Mr. Whyt : did she tell you about the bitter divorce? Robyn TSH : *gasp* no! But what about the children! *sob* Mr. Whyt : lol, we're goin to have a 3 week honeymoon and then the butter divorce at the start of the 4th week Robyn TSH : *lol* A butter divorce? Can I bring the bread? Mr. Whyt : lol oops butter=bitter Mr. Whyt : the butter is for the honeymoon ;-) Robyn TSH : Heh. *g* The longest witt ever? Robyn TSH : Whoa! *lol* Claris is a lucky 7-week bride. Mr. Whyt : no its only going to be a 7 week marriage, just until she graduates Mr. Whyt : no i'm a lucky seven week husband Robyn TSH : *g* True. You get butter on the honeymoon. Robyn TSH : Heh, cool. Your fiance just made me part of the bridal party. :-) Mr. Whyt : oh? are you the best woman? Robyn TSH : *g* Aren't I already? Mr. Whyt : lol Robyn TSH : *g* You walked right into that one. Mr. Whyt : definately Robyn TSH : *g* And you expect to survive a seven-week marriage with Claris ? She who taught me this evil? Mr. Whyt : well at least i'll go out happy Robyn TSH : "It is a sad day today in the Bronze. Last night, Mr. Claris (previously known as Mr. Whyt) was discovered dead. A strangely happy grin was frozen onto his face, so we may at least take the comfort that he went out happy.... police are still investigating, and ask that anyone who has information about butter contact them immediately." Mr. Whyt : LMAO Robyn TSH : :-) Mr. Whyt : so you have the press release ready already Robyn TSH : Of course. *g* With Ozlady as the Matron of Honor, someone has to be prepared for every eventuality. Mr. Whyt : lol i asked Claris if Bastion Ridley could be the flower boy Robyn TSH : *g* I heard that he was filling the post of the flower girl. Mr. Whyt : with Bastion Ridley its the same diff Robyn TSH : *lol* He'd be so cute... we could braid little flowers into his hair... and I'm sure we could find a truly darling dress... Robyn TSH : *g* Though for the first time in history, the bridesmaids would be trying to shag the flower girl. Mr. Whyt : lol we need to find a positon for Dao Jones Robyn TSH : *g* We really do. Robyn TSH : Plus, you guys need a priest. *g* Mr. Whyt : hmmmm Robyn TSH : *gasp* Robyn TSH : It has to be Chris Golden ! Mr. Whyt : ok, but what about ~mere~? Robyn TSH : Hmm.... Robyn TSH : Head usher/bouncer? Robyn TSH : Oh, and who is your best man going to be? Mr. Whyt : sounds good Robyn TSH : Cool. Mr. Whyt : dunno yet Robyn TSH : *g* Claris is making up the wedding list as we speak. Mr. Whyt : yes she just suggest Dao Jones could be the best woman Robyn TSH : You could recruit a goat. Put a little bow-tie on it. Robyn TSH : *g* Much better idea. Robyn TSH : The goat could be the ring-bearer. Mr. Whyt : sounds good Robyn TSH : *g* Mr. Whyt : so what are we missing? Robyn TSH : Hmm..... Mr. Whyt : i just asked Claris who willw alk her down the aisle Robyn TSH : That's Chris Golden . He got bumped from the priest spot. Mr. Whyt : whos the priest now then? Robyn TSH : *shrug* Donno.... you might have to recruit one from tv. Mr. Whyt : ok then how abouit we bump ~mere~ up into teh priest position Robyn TSH : *g* Don't think so. Ozlady wants to spend the wedding trying to shag the priest. Mr. Whyt : oh who does she reccomend? Robyn TSH : *lol* Mr. Whyt , are you and Claris also going to WITT your respective last nights of freedom -- the bachelor party/bachelorette party? Mr. Whyt : dunno yet Mr. Whyt : Blade the Prez for priest? Robyn TSH : HAH! Robyn TSH : Pass the idea to Claris - I'll ask Ozlady . *g* Mr. Whyt : she suggested it Mr. Whyt : Claris did Robyn TSH : Heh. :-) Robyn TSH : *cackle* Yeah, Ozlady likes that idea. Mr. Whyt : yay Robyn TSH : *g* Cool. One wedding, coming up. Mr. Whyt : lol Mr. Whyt : that bride's family pays right? Robyn TSH : *lol* Yes. All you have to do is stand there and try not to take attention away from the bride. Mr. Whyt : i can do that Robyn TSH : *lol* Is Sita going to have to run from the chapel sobbing at the sight of her biatch getting hitched Robyn TSH : ? Mr. Whyt : no i rhink her and Lady Wolfsbane are going to have to fight Claris before the ceremony can proceed Robyn TSH : As a bridesmaid, am I required to do battle on behalf of the bride? Is that why we're here, as a mini-army? Mr. Whyt : noo, its must be one on one Mr. Whyt : or one on 2 as the case may be Robyn TSH : This should be interesting, to say the least. Mr. Whyt : yup Robyn TSH : A catfight to really get everyone in a celebratory mood. Mr. Whyt : specially since i just offered to strip to distrac the crowd form noticing that Claris cant walk in heels Mr. Whyt : Claris jsut said you can fight with her Robyn TSH : HAH! I'm sure that would work. Mr. Whyt : lol Robyn TSH : Claris would kick my ass. *g* I'm a non-aggressive little bunny. Mr. Whyt : I meant fight with her as in by her side Robyn TSH : Oh, thank goodness. *g* This would be interesting... Bridal Party vs. Bronzettes Scorned. Mr. Whyt : lol Mr. Whyt : I put $5 on you and Claris Robyn TSH : :-) That's it? Robyn TSH : Jeez, Claris could mop the floor with anyone else! I'm just there to make sure no stains get on her dress! *g* Mr. Whyt : well ok $10 but thats cause i need to save for the lawyers Robyn TSH : *g* You can get ëstina . Mr. Whyt : Claris has claimed Blade to represent her Robyn TSH : Clash of titans. *g* This will be so damn cool. Mr. Whyt : yup Robyn TSH : Have to scamper -- will be back in half an hour Mr. Whyt : k, by Mr. Whyt : or bye
Robyn TSH : *g* Hi again, Mr. Whyt . OzLady & Robyn TSH did have an AIM going then as well, but the parts re : the wedding were all reiterated in the above AIMs. Therefore, this AIM was cut because, well, by now, Iím sure some of you are on the verge of going blind. And laterÖ.. Robyn TSH: Mr. Whyt! :-) Mr. Whyt: Robyn!! Robyn TSH: Mr. Whyt!!! Mr. Whyt: you!! Robyn TSH: me!!! Mr. Whyt: so what is up? Robyn TSH: Writing two politics papers tonight. You? Mr. Whyt: umm sitting on ym ass watching TV Robyn TSH: *g* Want to switch places? Mr. Whyt: you dont want me wrting your papers Robyn TSH: Drat. Robyn TSH: Good point. Robyn TSH: But you'll help me out during my future requisite math classes, right? *g* Mr. Whyt: yeah sure Mr. Whyt: anytime Mr. Whyt: as long as it doens tlead into another short marriage foloowed by bitter divroce Robyn TSH: *lol* Aw, there go my big plans. Robyn TSH: *g* You don't want two failed bronze marriages under your belt? Mr. Whyt: well i dpnt mind them failing just not up for nother big divorce Mr. Whyt: how about we just live in sin for awhile and then drift apart Robyn TSH: *lol* I can go for that. Mr. Whyt: coolness Mr. Whyt: I'll start moving my stuff in as soon as me and Claris go bad Robyn TSH: *g* The living in sin would only last until Sita and lady wolfsbane found out, then I'd have to go into hiding. Robyn TSH: HAH! *g* I'm sure she'll get a kick out of that. Mr. Whyt: she'll use it agains tme in the divorce Robyn TSH: Along with everything else. *g* What's one more thing? I could pin a little red 'A' to my shirt. :-) Mr. Whyt: LOL Robyn TSH: *g* It'll add drama. After the divorce, you guys could hit Jerry Springer. Mr. Whyt: with you and Sita and Lady Wolfsbane Mr. Whyt: guys who cant stay with one internet hotty Robyn TSH: Catfights. Good lord. *lol* Robyn TSH: BWAH! You know, I'm going to have to send this idea to Claris. :-) She'll get a huge kick out of it. Mr. Whyt: i'd buy that for a dollar Robyn TSH: *lol* Yes, that's what Blade and Crew should do to raise money next year. "Bronzer Catfights Caught On Tape!" Mr. Whyt: LOL Mr. Whyt: that'll make some good money for charity Robyn TSH: 'After the guys of the bronze got their wishes granted, they then gave the money to the foundation so that *all* internet guys could get their wishes granted.' *g* Mr. Whyt: LMAO Mr. Whyt: you know us internet guys, we're a bunch of geeks Mr. Whyt: and pale friendless vrigins Robyn TSH: *lol* And the internet girls are so utterly different? Mr. Whyt: yup Robyn TSH: *lol* Thanks for that vote of confidence. Mr. Whyt: you're welcome Robyn TSH: :-) No wonder everyone wants you as their biatch. Mr. Whyt: oh i'm a popular biatch I am Robyn TSH: *lol* Yep. Second only to the cuddle-slut himself. Mr. Whyt: well I'll have to assasinate him to move up in the list Mr. Whyt: or just work harder Robyn TSH: *LOL* Competitive biatchness. The new competitive sport. Mr. Whyt: and its interactive with the spectators Robyn TSH: I vote for the assassination. Makes for more interesting theater. :-) Robyn TSH: *g* Yep. Leading to "Biatch Island." Mr. Whyt: the assaination I'll hold until it looks like I'm losing Robyn TSH: *g* Yea. Robyn TSH: This would make for such a cool final vote. :-) Mr. Whyt: lol Mr. Whyt: vote for me or Bastion gets it Robyn TSH: Heh! Robyn TSH: It would be funny to see how many people voted against you just to see Bastion's horrid end. :-) Mr. Whyt: LMAO he'd win and lose Robyn TSH: *g* The true winners would be the audience. Mr. Whyt: and me Mr. Whyt: cause as first runner up I'd ahve to step ina dn take over his duties Robyn TSH: *lol* How good of you to take up his place as the cuddle-slut. Mr. Whyt: its my duty Mr. Whyt: we've expanded the wedding? Robyn TSH: *LOL* So next PBP, there will be pictures of you in the middle of a horde of bronzer girls? Mr. Whyt: yup Mr. Whyt: there already are some from this PBP Robyn TSH: No, tell her about the new thing for the divorce court. *g* Robyn TSH: *g* True. You were such a cute Canadian biatch that everyone wanted a picture with you. Mr. Whyt: aww Mr. Whyt: I should've charged cash money Robyn TSH: *lol* I'm not sure if that makes you an entreaupanuer (mispelled horribly) or a whore. It's a fine line. Mr. Whyt: I've fine with whore Robyn TSH: *cackle* Mr. Whyt: as lonhg ad i'm, making money you can call me anything Robyn TSH: *lol* Oh my. That could be your new slogan. Mr. Whyt: Hmmmm Robyn TSH: *lol* Uh oh. Mr. Whyt: Mr. Whyt: Man for rent, give em teh money and you can call me your Biatch Robyn TSH: *LOL* Nice. A siggy to be proud of. Mr. Whyt: yup Mr. Whyt: its not only a siggy its an advertisement Robyn TSH: Ooh, aren't you the multi-tasking fiend. Mr. Whyt: hey with my biatch schedule I ahve to be Robyn TSH: Busy little biatch? *g* Mr. Whyt: thats me Robyn TSH: :-) Mr. Whyt: O:-) Robyn TSH: ;-) Mr. Whyt: :-[ Robyn TSH: :' Mr. Whyt: :-* Robyn TSH: :-! Mr. Whyt: :-X Robyn TSH: :-$ Mr. Whyt: =-O Robyn TSH: :-\ Mr. Whyt: :-D Robyn TSH: :-P Side note from (the) Claris: That last part was kinda pointless, but I canít believe they kept it going that long. Mr. Whyt: ok run put of face Mr. Whyt: s Robyn TSH: Drat. *g* Now we actually have to converse. Mr. Whyt: damm Robyn TSH: *LOL* Robyn TSH: So much for my conversational charms. :-) Mr. Whyt: and mine Robyn TSH: *g* Hey, *I* didn't curse at the prospect of actually speaking to you. Mr. Whyt: oh yeah so as usaul its the guys fault Robyn TSH: *g* You ever doubted this? Mr. Whyt: not really Robyn TSH: *g* Proof that you are a clever and delightful male. Mr. Whyt: yay me Robyn TSH: 's why all the bronzer ladies want a pieces of your ass comments. Mr. Whyt: and thats how i'm going to make my millions Robyn TSH: *lol* Go you. High-priced call-biatch. Mr. Whyt: but only after the divorce Mr. Whyt: dont want the Claris to get my money Robyn TSH: And after the end of our shack-up, right? *g* Robyn TSH: Heh! *g* You're already going to be paying out the nose in alimony. Mr. Whyt: damm Robyn TSH: Better get 'stina to represent you. On the other hand, then you'll be paying out the nose in legal fees. *g* Mr. Whyt: I'd better just fake my death Robyn TSH: *cackle* Also a good option. Robyn TSH: Then, of course, when we exhume the coffin... "Oh my god... it's empty..." Mr. Whyt: oooh exhumations are cool Mr. Whyt: I have my fake name all picked out Robyn TSH: *lol* Robyn TSH: Will it be an acronym for Canadian Biatch? *g* 'Cause that would be good drama. Mr. Whyt: nope Mr. Whyt: its Steven Miller Robyn TSH: *g* Drat. Mr. Whyt: lol Robyn TSH: Tsk, tsk. Bad drama, Mr. Whyt. :-) Mr. Whyt: ? Robyn TSH: It's not an acronym! *g* You'd never get by in a spy thriller. Mr. Whyt: sorry Robyn TSH: Well, since I'll still hold fond memories from our brief shack-up, I guess I'll have to forgive you after you surface after your faked death... *g* Mr. Whyt: oh i'm not surfacing, I'll leave my life insurance to my secret love Julio (me in wig with tan) and run off to Mexico Robyn TSH: HAH! Robyn TSH: *g* Better go a bit further south if you hope to outrun Claris, Sita, and Lady Wolfsbane. Beware of Lady Bronzers scorned. :-) Mr. Whyt: I'll move to one of those islands in the south pacific Mr. Whyt: k i have to go get eats see you later Robyn TSH: *g* Better, better.... though I hear that Antartica is beautiful this time of year. Robyn TSH: :-) Bye. until we decided, forget charity, letís make some money for usÖ.
Claris: : I hear we've expanded the wedding? but hey, while weíre at itÖ letís hit the TV tooÖ
Robyn TSH: : Dude! Robyn TSH: : BWAH! "My Wife Is My Pimp!" Claris: : YOu know, we could. THat's the sad part. Claris: Yah. I'm formatting the wedding additions now. The part where we rent his ass out is goin' in there. Robyn TSH: *LOL* Yes, "Rent-a-Biatch" And thus endeth the tale. May, 2001
|
 |
| ~ Madness of the Past.... | |