Our sad little lives, your comic relief.

Once there was a Design major named Claris with seven weeks until graduation and a take home Physics test that involved essays, and making up your own problems. Because, the professor said, "It'll be fun!" (*grumble *grumble*)
But lo, out of the depts of the wilds of Canada rode Mr. Whyt into the land of AIM. And thus, through valiant looking up of sample questions and convenient answers in old physics textbooks of his own which Claris' professor didn't have copies of did the "cool Canadian engineer guy" ~Bastion Ridley, PBP 2001 save the ever-grateful behind of Claris.
In her thanks and more than slight interest in her Physics grade, Claris proposed that they get married for seven weeks until she recieved her degree. Mr. Whyt, in search of a green card, agreed.

And thus, our story begins...

MrWhyt: awww, well i try my best to please my seven week wife
Claris: If I had more time on my hands, I'd have some real fun with this. We could play WITT for seven weeks jsut to piss off the Bronze.
MrWhyt: LMAO, go through a honeymoon period and then at about the 4 week mark the beginnings of a bitter divorce?
Claris: yes! We could have a bitter custody battle over...well, what would we duke it out over?
MrWhyt: ummm your homewrok?
MrWhyt: homework
Claris: sure - you can hold my final grade in Physics hostage for a green card.
MrWhyt: sound slike a plan
Claris: and if we were to declare war on each other, RTBS knows a passage in Leviticus where the Bible advocates the stealing of slaves from each other's countries. That's what started the whole Britney thing you know.
MrWhyt: and there's lost of lawyers on the board to represent us
Claris: I know. i call Blade! He's hot.

Then, the next night, the planning began in a four-way AIM that made this poor little Claris decide that the next time she gets married, we're making use of the chatroom option in AIM....

Claris: lookit all the people on! Neat!
Claris: So Robyn 's just been initiated into the wedding party for me & Mr. Whyt. You wanna be in too?
OzLady: Sure! I want to be the Matron of Honor who flirts with the priest! ;-)
Claris: I'm compiling the list of everyone's responsibilities....
Claris: Look!
OzLady: Flirt. with. priest. Drink sacramental wine.
Claris: MrWhyt: Robyn jsut suggested Chris Golden for our priest
Claris: OKAY, no more wine for you!
Claris: Actually, we were thinking that "Dad" should walk me down the aisle.
OzLady: WINE!?>! We're doing bacardi and Diet, dear. And there will be more.
Claris: Mr. Whyt 's gonna strip as part of the ceremony. He says he can't tap-dance.
OzLady: Believe me, the Goddess will smile on this...

Robyn TSH: Claris!
Robyn TSH: I'm talking to OzLadyand we came up with a truly EVIL idea! *g*
Claris: And what have you two concocted?
Robyn TSH: *g* It's a crowded night tonight.
Robyn TSH: X-Files parody.
Claris: I know! I've got seven out of 34 on!
Robyn TSH: OzLady is Woxa Sculder. (she's both Mulder & Scully). You, me, and Nancy are the Lone Bronzerpersons. I'm Frohike (OzLady says it's because of the glasses. should I be paranoid?) You're Langley, and Little Sister is Byers.
Claris: *laughter* And I haven't even told you about my seven week marriage yet!
Robyn TSH: Ooh, who's getting a greencard off you? *g*
Claris: Mr. Whyt.
Claris: I asked him if he would marry me for the last seven weeks until I graduated since he helped me with my Physics homework last night.
Robyn TSH: *g* ooh, lucky you. So now he's your biatch?
Robyn TSH: *cackle* Aww... it's nice to know engineers. Especially cute Canadian ones.
Claris: no, he's just my Physics cheat
Robyn TSH: Ooh, and I hear there's a bitter divorce in the future? *g* ( I love talking to many people at once)
Claris: yes! That's part of the fun! An explosive blow-up! I was joking that we coul dhave the longest WITT ever!
Robyn TSH: Coool! :-) I get to be in the bridal party, right?
Claris: YES! Sure!
Robyn TSH: Cool! *g* Can I make a toast at the reception, disavowing this marriage and predicting only doom? (Doom I tell you! DOOOOOM!)
Claris: Yeah. Mr. Whyt just nominated Bastion Ridley to be the flower girl. We gotta start making a list.
Robyn TSH: BWAH! *cackle* This should be fuuuun.
Robyn TSH: *g* I'm maid of honor, right?
Claris: Sorry, OzLady beat you to that - I want to be the Matron of Honor who flirts with the priest! ;-)
Robyn TSH: :-) Matron and maid are different.
Claris: but she'll be busy trying to shag the priest, so you'll have plenty of oppportunity to make your toast.
Robyn TSH: The matron shags the priest, and the maid tries to shag the best man.
Robyn TSH: *cackle*
Claris: Mr. Whyt says to ask for the press release.
Robyn TSH: he he he... ask him to tell you about the butter, first.
Claris: I can't believe you used anthropomorphic!
Robyn TSH: Okay, can I be the head bridesmaid, then? *g* Though for the first time, a bridesmaid will be trying to shag the flower girl.
Robyn TSH: *lol* Reading the email?
Claris: Yah
Robyn TSH: heh.
Claris: Okay, he just 'fessed up to the butter.
Claris: your turn - go!
Robyn TSH: It is a sad day today in the Bronze. Last night, Mr. Claris (previously known as Mr. Whyt) was discovered dead. A strangely happy grin was frozen onto his face, so we may at least take the comfort that he went out happy.... police are still investigating, and ask that anyone who has information about butter contact them immediately."
Claris: do you know what I'm doing right now? I'm making alist of the part everyone is playing in the wedding party.
Claris: that went in under your name
Robyn TSH: *cackle* This should be fun.
Robyn TSH: Huh?
Robyn TSH: Claris! Get Chris Goldento be the priest!
Claris: I know!
Claris: Yes!
Claris: I don't know, OzLady's got the mission of trying to shag the priest.
Robyn TSH: *g* How much do you love me for that?
Robyn TSH: Good point... drat. He'll have to walk you down the aisle. *g* Um.... who's shaggable?
Claris: yeah, he is "Dad".
Robyn TSH: Ah. 'kay.
Claris: I just nominated Blade
Robyn TSH: *cackle* I noticed. Passed the idea along to OzLady.
Robyn TSH: *eg* Yeah, she's definitely in.
Robyn TSH: Have you responded to any of the latest scorn letters?
Claris: so, Blade for the priest?
Claris: Not yet. I've been planning my weddding.
Robyn TSH: Sounds good. *g* I think it would be fun.
Robyn TSH: Heh. *lol* True.
Claris: I'm LMFAO at it.
Robyn TSH: :-)
Claris: So Mr. Whyt's just supposed to not draw attention away from me?
Robyn TSH: *g* Exactly.
Robyn TSH: Oh, did you hear that a goat is your ring-bearer?
Claris: sinc ewhen?
Robyn TSH: Pitched the idea to Mr. Whyt. Assumed it had been filtered. Like it, or should that part be canned?
Claris: Is this a random goat, or The Goat the poster? Because I don't know them
Robyn TSH: Oh, random goat. The kind Fury was sacrificing. We could put it in a little tuxedo.
Claris: Okay - OR, we could have it wearing Fury pants!
Robyn TSH: Yes!
Claris: Okay, I need all of these AIMs C&P-ed to me in e so that I can format them.
Robyn TSH: *g* Go bug your fiance about it.
Claris: Come on! you're the only other one talking to OzLady too!
Robyn TSH: Will do, will do...
Claris: Okay, I'm gonna sign off for a bit and go to my sister's apt. she's not there, and I won't disturb anyone with my seeemingly random laughter
Robyn TSH: Gotcha. Plus, I have to scamper. Will be back in half an hour.
Claris: cool@
Auto response from Robyn TSH: At 11:30, I shall return! Fear not, sweet peons!

Claris: Hey!
MrWhyt: me!!
MrWhyt: umm tht was for Robyn
MrWhyt: howdy
Claris: *laughter* I'm talking to her too.
Claris: On a hppy note, the Physics test from hell has been turned in. Now I get to start on the definitions for the next chapter. *sigh* However, I wasn't the only one that had problems with it. I was relieved to hear that. It was like, "I'm NOT Stupid! Woo hoo!"
MrWhyt: woo hoo
Claris: I thought so. And as a bonus, neither roomie is her.
Claris: here, that is.
MrWhyt: thats good too
Claris: I thought so. YOu know, i was thinking about getting you a stuffed kitty so that you would have one that ISN'T going to endanger you.
MrWhyt: awww
MrWhyt: but make sure I cant choke on it
Claris: Where do you think I'm gonna get it, from a Burger King Kid's meal?
MrWhyt: lol
Claris: Have you ever noticed the recall rates on those bad boys?
MrWhyt: no, i havent
Claris: Sorry, part of being a Design major is that you start to pay *WAY* too much attention to ads. I'm the kind of goober that will walk past the windows in the mall, stop to look at the window posters, and go, "WOw, that's a really good shot".
MrWhyt: you already picking out the bridal party?
Claris: I think Robyn picked herself out.
MrWhyt: I want to pick the man of honour
*side note* even though I didnt notice it while the AIM was going on - *point & giggle at the odd spelling!*

Claris: And since Robyn 's ALSO talking to OzLady (I'm telling you - next development for AIM should be Conference AIMs), OzLady just volunteered, "I want to be the Matron of Honor who flirts with the priest! ;-)"
Claris: Hey, you go right ahead. as long as it's not Meteor.
MrWhyt: k, how bout Bastion Ridley ? he can be the flower boy
Claris: You know, it's not even a real wedding, and we've completely lost any semblance of control. No wonder these couples have nervous breakdowns!
Claris: Yes! That's perfect....although, we gotta find somthing for Dao Jones .(What about Dao Jones? *snerk*)
MrWhyt: LMAO
Claris: I've been on for like, what, 15 minutes now? I haven't even been able to stop & check my e. *g*
MrWhyt: lol
MrWhyt: have they picked out your gown and the church yet?
Claris: not yet, but here's what I got from Robyn:
Claris: Robyn TSH: Cool! *g* Can I make a toast at the reception, disavowing this marriage and predicting only doom? (Doom I tell you! DOOOOOM!)
MrWhyt: lol ask her for the press release she just gave me
Claris: Okay...
Claris: I'm supposed to ask you about the *butter* first?
Claris: What is this? I go to the gym, you guys all take a big batch of drugs?
MrWhyt: I told her about the bitter divorce but i misplet it as butter
MrWhyt: she asked about that and i siad the butter was for the honeymoon
Claris: *roaring laughter!*
MrWhyt: ;-)
Claris: Oh dear joss. I just got your obituary. You people have such high expectations in my abilities. (Thanks!)
MrWhyt: lol
Claris: So we're sure Bastion Ridley 's going to be the flower girl? I'm making our master list
MrWhyt: yup
MrWhyt: Robyn jsut suggested Chris Goldenfor our priest
Claris: YES! Hell yeah!
MrWhyt: lol
MrWhyt: so what could Dao Jones do?
Claris: Um, we could have her be the best man - you know, get the real balls in the family up there.
MrWhyt: lol
MrWhyt: whos going to walk you down the aisle?
Claris: we were just discussing whether Golden should be the priest or walk me down the aisle. A while ago he made a rather lascivious comment to me, which I responded to by tellin him he was old enough to be my dad, and the nickname stuck just because we know it bugs the shit out of him (He's only 33)
MrWhyt: lol
MrWhyt: we ned to find a priest that OzLady can try to shag Robyn tells me
Claris: yes, yes we do - BLADE!
MrWhyt: good choice
MrWhyt: not only a preist,hes athe president
MrWhyt: Robyn: says OzLady approves of Blade for the priest
Claris: I think we've pretty much decided on Blade for a priest. S'okay? We can have Grifter run security.
MrWhyt: sounds good, Robyn ssays all i have to is stand there and not draw attention away from you
Claris: Dammit, I was hoping you'd start tap-dancing so that people wouldn't notice the fact that I can't walk in heels for shit.
MrWhyt: lol, I cant tap dance, how bout I strip?
Claris: SURE! Then you won't have to worry about finding a date after the divorce!
MrWhyt: yay!! Robyn was just asking if she has to stnad by your side when you fight off Sita and Lady Wolfsbane
Claris: yeah, she can. I'll have white boxing wraps ordered esp for the occasion
MrWhyt: lol
Claris: The goat's gonna be wearing Fury pants.
MrWhyt: but will they fit?
Claris: Um, if we hem them, it should be all good.
MrWhyt: ok but i cant sew
Claris: I can. It's all good. Now we're just going to have to lock Allyson up so that we can get our hands on them
MrWhyt: well I'll leave tha tup to you, I think ym responsivliitiies should be limited to stripping and being a good biatch
MrWhyt: and learning how to type
Claris: Yeah, I'll go with that. I'll let you know if we decided on the purple tails, or the baby bue zoot suit for your tux. *grin*
MrWhyt: oooh zoot suit please
Claris: Okay, we'll go with that
MrWhyt: yay
Claris: ttyl, dear hubbie.
MrWhyt: hey if Blade is the priest and your lawyer for the divorce aint that a conflict of interest or something?
Claris: uh......*innocent look* No?
Claris: we could make Lynch the priest.
Claris: or Anya . that's even better. Or, maybe *she* should be my lawyer
MrWhyt: ok now i scared
Claris: Okay, must switch locations so that I can Bronze all night while I do my physics homework. ttyl or whatever....
MrWhyt: ok bye

Robyn TSH : Mr. Whyt ! :-)
Mr. Whyt : robyn!!
Robyn TSH : Mr. Whyt !!!
Mr. Whyt : me!!
Robyn TSH : *lol* you!
Mr. Whyt : you!!
Mr. Whyt : so whats up?
Robyn TSH : It's snowing!
Mr. Whyt : oooh poor you
Robyn TSH : *g* Damn Canadian. It's one thing for you to get snow, but down here in lower New England, we don't *get* snow past the middle of March!
Mr. Whyt : i dont have any snow right now
Robyn TSH : Damn you. *g*
Mr. Whyt : O:-)
Robyn TSH : *g* Mr. Whyt , I hear that you're marrying Claris for a greencard?
Mr. Whyt : that and for the privlege of posting as Mr. Claris
Robyn TSH : Bwah! *lol*
Mr. Whyt : :-)
Mr. Whyt : did she tell you about the bitter divorce?
Robyn TSH : *gasp* no! But what about the children! *sob*
Mr. Whyt : lol, we're goin to have a 3 week honeymoon and then the butter divorce at the start of the 4th week
Robyn TSH : *lol* A butter divorce? Can I bring the bread?
Mr. Whyt : lol oops butter=bitter
Mr. Whyt : the butter is for the honeymoon ;-)
Robyn TSH : Heh. *g* The longest witt ever?
Robyn TSH : Whoa! *lol* Claris is a lucky 7-week bride.
Mr. Whyt : no its only going to be a 7 week marriage, just until she graduates
Mr. Whyt : no i'm a lucky seven week husband
Robyn TSH : *g* True. You get butter on the honeymoon.
Robyn TSH : Heh, cool. Your fiance just made me part of the bridal party. :-)
Mr. Whyt : oh? are you the best woman?
Robyn TSH : *g* Aren't I already?
Mr. Whyt : lol
Robyn TSH : *g* You walked right into that one.
Mr. Whyt : definately
Robyn TSH : *g* And you expect to survive a seven-week marriage with Claris ? She who taught me this evil?
Mr. Whyt : well at least i'll go out happy
Robyn TSH : "It is a sad day today in the Bronze.
Last night, Mr. Claris (previously known as Mr. Whyt) was discovered dead. A strangely happy grin was frozen onto his face, so we may at least take the comfort that he went out happy.... police are still investigating, and ask that anyone who has information about butter contact them immediately."

Mr. Whyt : LMAO
Robyn TSH : :-)
Mr. Whyt : so you have the press release ready already
Robyn TSH : Of course. *g* With Ozlady as the Matron of Honor, someone has to be prepared for every eventuality.
Mr. Whyt : lol i asked Claris if Bastion Ridley could be the flower boy
Robyn TSH : *g* I heard that he was filling the post of the flower girl.
Mr. Whyt : with Bastion Ridley its the same diff
Robyn TSH : *lol* He'd be so cute... we could braid little flowers into his hair... and I'm sure we could find a truly darling dress...
Robyn TSH : *g* Though for the first time in history, the bridesmaids would be trying to shag the flower girl.
Mr. Whyt : lol we need to find a positon for Dao Jones
Robyn TSH : *g* We really do.
Robyn TSH : Plus, you guys need a priest. *g*
Mr. Whyt : hmmmm
Robyn TSH : *gasp*
Robyn TSH : It has to be Chris Golden !
Mr. Whyt : ok, but what about ~mere~?
Robyn TSH : Hmm....
Robyn TSH : Head usher/bouncer?
Robyn TSH : Oh, and who is your best man going to be?
Mr. Whyt : sounds good
Robyn TSH : Cool.
Mr. Whyt : dunno yet
Robyn TSH : *g* Claris is making up the wedding list as we speak.
Mr. Whyt : yes she just suggest Dao Jones could be the best woman
Robyn TSH : You could recruit a goat. Put a little bow-tie on it.
Robyn TSH : *g* Much better idea.
Robyn TSH : The goat could be the ring-bearer.
Mr. Whyt : sounds good
Robyn TSH : *g*
Mr. Whyt : so what are we missing?
Robyn TSH : Hmm.....
Mr. Whyt : i just asked Claris who willw alk her down the aisle
Robyn TSH : That's Chris Golden . He got bumped from the priest spot.
Mr. Whyt : whos the priest now then?
Robyn TSH : *shrug* Donno.... you might have to recruit one from tv.
Mr. Whyt : ok then how abouit we bump ~mere~ up into teh priest position
Robyn TSH : *g* Don't think so. Ozlady wants to spend the wedding trying to shag the priest.
Mr. Whyt : oh who does she reccomend?
Robyn TSH : *lol* Mr. Whyt , are you and Claris also going to WITT your respective last nights of freedom -- the bachelor party/bachelorette party?
Mr. Whyt : dunno yet
Mr. Whyt : Blade the Prez for priest?
Robyn TSH : HAH!
Robyn TSH : Pass the idea to Claris - I'll ask Ozlady . *g*
Mr. Whyt : she suggested it
Mr. Whyt : Claris did
Robyn TSH : Heh. :-)
Robyn TSH : *cackle* Yeah, Ozlady likes that idea.
Mr. Whyt : yay
Robyn TSH : *g* Cool. One wedding, coming up.
Mr. Whyt : lol
Mr. Whyt : that bride's family pays right?
Robyn TSH : *lol* Yes. All you have to do is stand there and try not to take attention away from the bride.
Mr. Whyt : i can do that
Robyn TSH : *lol* Is Sita going to have to run from the chapel sobbing at the sight of her biatch getting hitched
Robyn TSH : ?
Mr. Whyt : no i rhink her and Lady Wolfsbane are going to have to fight Claris before the ceremony can proceed
Robyn TSH : As a bridesmaid, am I required to do battle on behalf of the bride? Is that why we're here, as a mini-army?
Mr. Whyt : noo, its must be one on one
Mr. Whyt : or one on 2 as the case may be
Robyn TSH : This should be interesting, to say the least.
Mr. Whyt : yup
Robyn TSH : A catfight to really get everyone in a celebratory mood.
Mr. Whyt : specially since i just offered to strip to distrac the crowd form noticing that Claris cant walk in heels
Mr. Whyt : Claris jsut said you can fight with her
Robyn TSH : HAH! I'm sure that would work.
Mr. Whyt : lol
Robyn TSH : Claris would kick my ass. *g* I'm a non-aggressive little bunny.
Mr. Whyt : I meant fight with her as in by her side
Robyn TSH : Oh, thank goodness. *g* This would be interesting... Bridal Party vs. Bronzettes Scorned.
Mr. Whyt : lol
Mr. Whyt : I put $5 on you and Claris
Robyn TSH : :-) That's it?
Robyn TSH : Jeez, Claris could mop the floor with anyone else! I'm just there to make sure no stains get on her dress! *g*
Mr. Whyt : well ok $10 but thats cause i need to save for the lawyers
Robyn TSH : *g* You can get stina .
Mr. Whyt : Claris has claimed Blade to represent her
Robyn TSH : Clash of titans. *g* This will be so damn cool.
Mr. Whyt : yup
Robyn TSH : Have to scamper -- will be back in half an hour
Mr. Whyt : k, by
Mr. Whyt : or bye

Robyn TSH : *g* Hi again, Mr. Whyt .
Mr. Whyt : hi
Mr. Whyt : was about to go get some eats
Robyn TSH : Did I miss any more wacky wedding plans?
Mr. Whyt : nope Claris left soon after you did
Robyn TSH : Ah, then 'bye'. *g*
Robyn TSH : What time zone are you in?
Mr. Whyt : I'll be back in about an hour
Robyn TSH : *lol* Alas. We abandoned you, leaving only the goat to keep you company.
Mr. Whyt : montain standard time, its 9:30 here
Mr. Whyt : lol the goat was good company
Robyn TSH : *g* Will I be hearing about this in the divorce proceedings?
Mr. Whyt : probaly
Mr. Whyt : see you in a n hour, i'll giv ethe story then

OzLady & Robyn TSH did have an AIM going then as well, but the parts re : the wedding were all reiterated in the above AIMs. Therefore, this AIM was cut because, well, by now, Im sure some of you are on the verge of going blind.

And later..
Robyn TSH: Mr. Whyt! :-)
Mr. Whyt: Robyn!!
Robyn TSH: Mr. Whyt!!!
Mr. Whyt: you!!
Robyn TSH: me!!!
Mr. Whyt: so what is up?
Robyn TSH: Writing two politics papers tonight. You?
Mr. Whyt: umm sitting on ym ass watching TV
Robyn TSH: *g* Want to switch places?
Mr. Whyt: you dont want me wrting your papers
Robyn TSH: Drat.
Robyn TSH: Good point.
Robyn TSH: But you'll help me out during my future requisite math classes, right? *g*
Mr. Whyt: yeah sure
Mr. Whyt: anytime
Mr. Whyt: as long as it doens tlead into another short marriage foloowed by bitter divroce
Robyn TSH: *lol* Aw, there go my big plans.
Robyn TSH: *g* You don't want two failed bronze marriages under your belt?
Mr. Whyt: well i dpnt mind them failing just not up for nother big divorce
Mr. Whyt: how about we just live in sin for awhile and then drift apart
Robyn TSH: *lol* I can go for that.
Mr. Whyt: coolness
Mr. Whyt: I'll start moving my stuff in as soon as me and Claris go bad
Robyn TSH: *g* The living in sin would only last until Sita and lady wolfsbane found out, then I'd have to go into hiding.
Robyn TSH: HAH! *g* I'm sure she'll get a kick out of that.
Mr. Whyt: she'll use it agains tme in the divorce
Robyn TSH: Along with everything else. *g* What's one more thing? I could pin a little red 'A' to my shirt. :-)
Mr. Whyt: LOL
Robyn TSH: *g* It'll add drama. After the divorce, you guys could hit Jerry Springer.
Mr. Whyt: with you and Sita and Lady Wolfsbane
Mr. Whyt: guys who cant stay with one internet hotty
Robyn TSH: Catfights. Good lord. *lol*
Robyn TSH: BWAH! You know, I'm going to have to send this idea to Claris. :-) She'll get a huge kick out of it.
Mr. Whyt: i'd buy that for a dollar
Robyn TSH: *lol* Yes, that's what Blade and Crew should do to raise money next year. "Bronzer Catfights Caught On Tape!"
Mr. Whyt: LOL
Mr. Whyt: that'll make some good money for charity
Robyn TSH: 'After the guys of the bronze got their wishes granted, they then gave the money to the foundation so that *all* internet guys could get their wishes granted.' *g*
Mr. Whyt: LMAO
Mr. Whyt: you know us internet guys, we're a bunch of geeks
Mr. Whyt: and pale friendless vrigins
Robyn TSH: *lol* And the internet girls are so utterly different?
Mr. Whyt: yup
Robyn TSH: *lol* Thanks for that vote of confidence.
Mr. Whyt: you're welcome
Robyn TSH: :-) No wonder everyone wants you as their biatch.
Mr. Whyt: oh i'm a popular biatch I am
Robyn TSH: *lol* Yep. Second only to the cuddle-slut himself.
Mr. Whyt: well I'll have to assasinate him to move up in the list
Mr. Whyt: or just work harder
Robyn TSH: *LOL* Competitive biatchness. The new competitive sport.
Mr. Whyt: and its interactive with the spectators
Robyn TSH: I vote for the assassination. Makes for more interesting theater. :-)
Robyn TSH: *g* Yep. Leading to "Biatch Island."
Mr. Whyt: the assaination I'll hold until it looks like I'm losing
Robyn TSH: *g* Yea.
Robyn TSH: This would make for such a cool final vote. :-)
Mr. Whyt: lol
Mr. Whyt: vote for me or Bastion gets it
Robyn TSH: Heh!
Robyn TSH: It would be funny to see how many people voted against you just to see Bastion's horrid end. :-)
Mr. Whyt: LMAO he'd win and lose
Robyn TSH: *g* The true winners would be the audience.
Mr. Whyt: and me
Mr. Whyt: cause as first runner up I'd ahve to step ina dn take over his duties
Robyn TSH: *lol* How good of you to take up his place as the cuddle-slut.
Mr. Whyt: its my duty
Mr. Whyt: we've expanded the wedding?
Robyn TSH: *LOL* So next PBP, there will be pictures of you in the middle of a horde of bronzer girls?
Mr. Whyt: yup
Mr. Whyt: there already are some from this PBP
Robyn TSH: No, tell her about the new thing for the divorce court. *g*
Robyn TSH: *g* True. You were such a cute Canadian biatch that everyone wanted a picture with you.
Mr. Whyt: aww
Mr. Whyt: I should've charged cash money
Robyn TSH: *lol* I'm not sure if that makes you an entreaupanuer (mispelled horribly) or a whore. It's a fine line.
Mr. Whyt: I've fine with whore
Robyn TSH: *cackle*
Mr. Whyt: as lonhg ad i'm, making money you can call me anything
Robyn TSH: *lol* Oh my. That could be your new slogan.
Mr. Whyt: Hmmmm
Robyn TSH: *lol* Uh oh.
Mr. Whyt: Mr. Whyt: Man for rent, give em teh money and you can call me your Biatch
Robyn TSH: *LOL* Nice. A siggy to be proud of.
Mr. Whyt: yup
Mr. Whyt: its not only a siggy its an advertisement
Robyn TSH: Ooh, aren't you the multi-tasking fiend.
Mr. Whyt: hey with my biatch schedule I ahve to be
Robyn TSH: Busy little biatch? *g*
Mr. Whyt: thats me
Robyn TSH: :-)
Mr. Whyt: O:-)
Robyn TSH: ;-)
Mr. Whyt: :-[
Robyn TSH: :'
Mr. Whyt: :-*
Robyn TSH: :-!
Mr. Whyt: :-X
Robyn TSH: :-$
Mr. Whyt: =-O
Robyn TSH: :-\
Mr. Whyt: :-D
Robyn TSH: :-P
Side note from (the) Claris: That last part was kinda pointless, but I cant believe they kept it going that long.
Mr. Whyt: ok run put of face
Mr. Whyt: s
Robyn TSH: Drat. *g* Now we actually have to converse.
Mr. Whyt: damm
Robyn TSH: *LOL*
Robyn TSH: So much for my conversational charms. :-)
Mr. Whyt: and mine
Robyn TSH: *g* Hey, *I* didn't curse at the prospect of actually speaking to you.
Mr. Whyt: oh yeah so as usaul its the guys fault
Robyn TSH: *g* You ever doubted this?
Mr. Whyt: not really
Robyn TSH: *g* Proof that you are a clever and delightful male.
Mr. Whyt: yay me
Robyn TSH: 's why all the bronzer ladies want a pieces of your ass comments.
Mr. Whyt: and thats how i'm going to make my millions
Robyn TSH: *lol* Go you. High-priced call-biatch.
Mr. Whyt: but only after the divorce
Mr. Whyt: dont want the Claris to get my money
Robyn TSH: And after the end of our shack-up, right? *g*
Robyn TSH: Heh! *g* You're already going to be paying out the nose in alimony.
Mr. Whyt: damm
Robyn TSH: Better get 'stina to represent you. On the other hand, then you'll be paying out the nose in legal fees. *g*
Mr. Whyt: I'd better just fake my death
Robyn TSH: *cackle* Also a good option.
Robyn TSH: Then, of course, when we exhume the coffin... "Oh my god... it's empty..."
Mr. Whyt: oooh exhumations are cool
Mr. Whyt: I have my fake name all picked out
Robyn TSH: *lol*
Robyn TSH: Will it be an acronym for Canadian Biatch? *g* 'Cause that would be good drama.
Mr. Whyt: nope
Mr. Whyt: its Steven Miller
Robyn TSH: *g* Drat.
Mr. Whyt: lol
Robyn TSH: Tsk, tsk. Bad drama, Mr. Whyt. :-)
Mr. Whyt: ?
Robyn TSH: It's not an acronym! *g* You'd never get by in a spy thriller.
Mr. Whyt: sorry
Robyn TSH: Well, since I'll still hold fond memories from our brief shack-up, I guess I'll have to forgive you after you surface after your faked death... *g*
Mr. Whyt: oh i'm not surfacing, I'll leave my life insurance to my secret love Julio (me in wig with tan) and run off to Mexico
Robyn TSH: HAH!
Robyn TSH: *g* Better go a bit further south if you hope to outrun Claris, Sita, and Lady Wolfsbane. Beware of Lady Bronzers scorned. :-)
Mr. Whyt: I'll move to one of those islands in the south pacific
Mr. Whyt: k i have to go get eats see you later
Robyn TSH: *g* Better, better.... though I hear that Antartica is beautiful this time of year.
Robyn TSH: :-) Bye.

until we decided, forget charity, lets make some money for us.

Claris: : I hear we've expanded the wedding?
Mr. Whyt: : we have?
Claris: : I don't know - Robyn said to ask you.
Mr. Whyt: : we have expanded the wedding?
Mr. Whyt: : oops wrong window
Claris: : *laughter!*
Mr. Whyt: : oh its not the wedding we're expanding its the divorce
Claris: : Oh, okay. - we don't have children now, do we? Because I'm not really willing to do stretch marks @ 21
Mr. Whyt: : I'm going to help robyn with her math homework, we'll start living together in sin at about the time you and I sp;it up
Mr. Whyt: : and then her and I will slowly drift apart
Claris: : Oh, okay. So now the Hare is gettin' some too.....
Mr. Whyt: : yup
Mr. Whyt: : eveyone gets a piece of me
Claris: : Might as weel share the biatch. You're already cheating on me anyway
Mr. Whyt: : rent me out
Claris: : .NOW THAT's AN IDEA!
Claris: : Ass (comments) for rent!
Mr. Whyt: : LMA(comments)O
Mr. Whyt: : hey you're deadguy's shoutee?
Mr. Whyt: : YAY YOU!!!
Claris: : I am?
Claris: : YAY ME!
Claris: : I haven't been there all day! Dammit!
Mr. Whyt: : thats what antipodena just said on the board
Claris: : Oh. I'll look.
Claris: : Check that shit out! Yay me!
Mr. Whyt: : yay you
Mr. Whyt: : lol I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my name in Fenric's list
Claris: : Dude, this merits a siggy post!
Mr. Whyt: : dude it does
Claris: : siggy posted.

but hey, while were at it lets hit the TV too

Robyn TSH: : Dude!
Claris: : WAASUP?
Claris: : Checking my mail. Is there scorn?
Robyn TSH: : *g* Ask Mr. Whyt about the newest additions to the wedding saga.
Robyn TSH: : No scorn yet. *sigh*
Claris: : Why? What did you guys do?
Robyn TSH: : *innocent whistling*
Claris: : *grin* He just tried to ask you a question in my window. Goober.
Claris: : And if I'm mud-wrestling in a thong in my reception, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Robyn TSH: : *LOL*
Robyn TSH: : no, no. *g* And, yes, you could completely kick my ass in that situation.
Claris: : Okay, then what am I in for?
Robyn TSH: : la la la la..
Claris: : Homewrecker.
Robyn TSH: : Yep. :-)
Robyn TSH: : Well, I predicted doom, didn't I? *G*
Claris: : He's already cheating on me....how is this different? and we never did actually *get* a toast of doom - I was gonna tack it at the bottom of the page..
Claris: : I'm gonna jjust rent him out. Make a tidy profit on the deal
Robyn TSH: : Because this we could really bring to Jerry Springer. :-)
I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it...
Robyn TSH: : BWAH!
"My Wife Is My Pimp!"

Claris: : YOu know, we could. THat's the sad part.
Claris: Yah. I'm formatting the wedding additions now. The part where we rent his ass out is goin' in there.
Robyn TSH: *LOL* Yes, "Rent-a-Biatch"

And thus endeth the tale.

May, 2001

  • Bastion, who found out afterwards what we'd planned for him, threatened revenge and consequences for putting him in a dress. There was some mention of genetically altered killer ferrets or something, but so far? Nothing's shown up.
  • Dao Jones declared us all very, very sick people upon seeing what a scroll through a bridal site, a screen capture of a picture on Bastion's website, and some time with Photoshop could create.
  • OzLady is married to her husband, just as she was before all this began, and is presently in Massachusetts where she appreciates the calm that Claris moving 3,000 miles away has brought to her life.
  • Robyn The Snowshoe Hare passed all of her finals, & is presently working to get her degree at an unnamed educational institution in Pittsburgh. Since her drift from Mr. Whyt The Cheater, she has found Swing Dance Adam, who has turned out to be a far better biatch than Mr. Whyt ever was. Her friendship with Claris survived this incident intact, although, there was a period where she was and occasionally still is Robyn TheSkankyHare.
  • Mr. Whyt is still trying to recover financially from the settlement incurred from the divorce, since as the one who cheated, he was found at fault. He's presently living in the Wilds of Canada, finishing his Engineering degree & entertaining Ms. Whyt, whom Claris & Robyn are possibly going to get to meet in Feb. of 2003. (Much to Mr. Whyt's trepidation)
  • Claris graduated from college, and has since moved to California, and lives in Los Angeles - where while there may be many pretty boys, half of them are either taken or too busy checking out other pretty boys 'cause they're gay. *shrug*
  • ~ Madness of the Past....