1. I had a sort of fish risotto thingy for dinner last night. It was nice.

2. An ex-work mate of mine's dad was in the RAF and used to do bombing raids over Germany. His daughter brought home her German boyfriend to dinner one time. The boyfriend asked the dad if he'd ever been to Germany. "Quite a view times, son. But only at night."

3. I support Heart of Midlothian Football Club.

4. I played violin for three years.

5. I played piano for five.

6. I was at primary school when I did these things.

7. I've played guitar for the last nineteen years.

8. I should be better than I am.

9. I've been to Switzerland.

10. I've been to France.

11. I've been to Monaco.

12. I've been to Italy.

13. I've been to Canada.

14. I've been to America.

15. Oh, and I've been to England.

16. My sister lives in Madrid.

17. I should visit, but I hate flying.

18. She's coming home for a visit next week. Yay!

19. She'll be here for my birthday. Yay!

20. I was given a six month contract to prove a position was viable. Due to a series of fuck ups it took two and a half months to actually start working. Now I have three and a half months to prove the job. Arse.

21. These were someone else's fuck ups.

22. Kristy Wright who played Chloe in crap Aussie soap Home and Away was my sooper seekrit actress girlfriend for ages.

23. She's going to be a handmaiden in the next Star Wars film.

24. I should be shot for knowing this.

25. I was on a course once. It was called Advance Graphics For The Web. Half way through the course the course title was changed to Graphics For The Web.

26. I didn't get a refund.

27. One time my mate's house was broken into. CDs and other small items were stolen. The thieves also went through his collection of porn mags and only stole the best ones.

28. My best claim to fame is that one of my mates was the witness at Kurt and Courtney's wedding.

29. And Shirley Manson drinks at my local, when she's in town.

30. Best rant heard a footie game: "Townsely your shite! You couldnae cross two randy dugs.

31. Second best: "C'mon tae fuck ref, book him. What's the matter? Can you no' spell bastard?

32. Tru Calling's a bit duff actually.

33. Maybe it'll tank and we'll get Faith on a Motorbike.

34. Mmmmmmmmmh, Faith on a Motorbike.

35. Best thing my mate said while watching Bionic Everafter: "Steve Austin. I've got one good eye, one good arm, and two good legs. Go on, punch me in the stomach.

36. I drink Vodka.

37. I drink Jack Daniels

38. I drink Stella.

39. I prefer red wine to white.

40. I've got a cat.

41. She's called Dave.

42. She's a bit crap, but is quiet and spends most of her time outside.

43. It's an arrangement we both can live with.

44. I've written two and half fics.

45. I feel so geeky about that.

46. Me and my mates won the Filmhouse film quiz the other week there. This is a truly momentous occasion. Especially considering we can name twenty Steven Seagal films straight off the top of our heads.

47. We could only name five Joachim Phoenix though.

48. Although I'm impressed that I spelt it right first go.

49. I'm not even half way through and IŒm already resorting to fillers.

50. Like this.

51. And this.

52. But I won't do another one.

53. Honest.

54. Johnny Depp should get an Oscar for PotC.

55. How good looking would Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom's kids be?

56. Talking of which, how dull will Freddy Prinz Gellar and Sarah Michelle Jnr's kids be?

57. American Wedding was disappointing.

58. If Nick Nolte's scenes in Hulk had been dumped into American Wedding they would've fitted better than they did in Ang Lee's film.

59. Still can't believe no magazine has used "You wouldn't like me when I'm Ang Lee."

60. Bill Hicks.

61. Eddie Izzard.

62. Totally different, but completely brilliant.

63. I run about twelve miles a week. This is a good excuse for eating pizza and drinking beer.

64. I found a mobile phone the other day. I called the guy and returned it. The fucker never even gave me a beer or anything. Feel like calling him again and telling him to stick his phone up his arse and fuck off while he's doing it.

65. An insult which was lifted from Withnail and I

66. A film from which virtually every line can be used again and again.

67. "Don't threaten me with a dead fish."

68. "Here hare here ... Oh, here hare here!"

69. When I was a wee boy I was dreeping from a wall and put my hands out to steady myself. Right on to a broken bottle. Stitches ahoy!

70. I've only ever met in person four people that I met on the internet.

71. I can recommend not getting stung twice by a wasp when you're travelling at 80mph down the motorway. No matter how fun I make it sound.

72. One time my sister was given some serious gyp to a doorman who wouldn't let her in a club. She was half way through her usual high falutin bitchgrieg when the doorman said he wasn't going to take that from a "Forty year old dressed as a teenager." My sister was 35 at the time. Anyway, she had the presence of mind to congratulate him on his put down before leaving as gracefully as she could.

73. One of my mates had a song he wrote covered by Metallica. He made about 80 or 90 thousand quid from that. Jammy bastard.

74. My shoes could walk to the beer garden at the bottom of my road on their own now.

75. I'd like to visit Australia. Applied for a year long job at some library in Melbourne one time, didn't get it though.

76. I've only bagged five Munros in my life. I should really try to get more.

77. It's the Edinburgh derby on Sunday. Hearts against Hibs. I'm full of pre-match tension.

78. David Beckham isn't as good as the English media think he is. However he probably was worth 25m because Real Madrid will easily get that back in marketing. Their sales are up by 30% in the Far East already.

79. I think New Zealand will probably win the rugby world cup this year. If they don't then England probably will, and there's nothing more obnoxious on the planet than a victorious English rugby team. Well okay, George W is more obnoxious.

80. Who's this Coulter woman? Is it Coulter? Is she really this mad?

81. I like Paul Klee.

82. It's clouding over a bit.

83. I'm away to the loo, then for a cup of coffee.

84. I loathe reality TV. Too many good shows have fallen by the wayside because of the cheap shite that gets pumped out.

85. Hmm, spellchecker says that shite is wrong. Obviously not a Scottish spellchecker. It wasn't too keen on dreeping either. Or Metallica, but that's pretty obvious really.

86. Saw Supernova last night. What a pile of crap! What were they thinking? I remember when James Spader was good. At least Robin Tunney got naked.

87. This one time, at band camp ...

88. Tonight I'm going to go home, have a shower, have more fish rosotto thingy watch Hard Boiled then go to bed.

89. I can't fall asleep unless I read first. I'm pathological about this.

90. I'm rereading Stephen Donaldson's Gap Series at the moment. It occurs to me there are real parallels between Spike and Angus and Connor and Davies.

91. There was a space of time between Nos. 83 and 84, in case you were wondering.

92. I should be working, but two and half months of thumb twiddling are proving difficult to get over.

93. 92 and ground to a halt. I'm 8% dull, that's my problem. Now I'm only 7% dull.

94. I've got a cold. I feel like crap. I want to go home.

95. Oh, apparently I bollocksed up the taping of Hard Boiled so I didn't watch that. I also ended up going to the Speigel Tent and got mortal with the drink.

96. I downloaded a DVD quality copy of PotC and the fecking cue bin files are corrupt. Arse.

97. Lucky I had this list at work because my hdd at home died and I lost everything. 35Gs worth, just gone.

98. That doesn't include PotC, I've got that again. Still doesn't work, though.

99. It's my birthday today. I hope I get money. New hard drives are expensive. Especially 80Gs ones. No idea why I got an 80G hd. Well I do. It was the only one they had in the shop and I couldn't do without my computer for even one day. How sad is that?

100. "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Duh, duh, duh, duh, d,d,d,d,d,d, frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, woooooooooooosh!