1. People who put dogs in the back of pick-ups without cages really piss me off.  Almost as much as parents who use their children's strollers as crowd plows.

2. Despite now being 33, I've always wanted to retake my SATs since I was still probably drunk and/or hung over the first time I took the test, and during the second time, I had a really bad flu that required me to take the test holding tissues to my nose the entire time while I had 101 fever.

3. I scored 1250 on both tests.

4. I used to carry a switchblade through most of my high school years.

5. I once had Molotov cocktails thrown at me and a large bunch of my friends.  That night I learned I could clear a four foot plus hedge and fence without a running start.

6. Why would anyone buy a KIA motor vehicle?  Haven't these people ever heard of the term "Killed in Action"?

7. I was the Treasurer for SADD (Students Against Drunk Driving) in HS.  I credit the SADD bumper sticker on my car for keeping me out of going to jail for a DWI several times. 

8. I started smoking cigarettes in part to see if I could shock my parents into quitting.  Twelve years later I was finally able to quit.  My parents still each smoke more than two packs a day.

9. I smoked pot before I did cigarettes and believe that marijuana is significantly less harmful than either tobacco or alcohol and no where near as addictive.

10. I've never done anything "harder" than pot or alcohol, at least not intentionally. I do have some suspicions about several incidents where I what I was smoking wasn't pure.

11. I haven't smoked pot since I was 18.  I was able to quit smoking pot easily just before I started college. 

12. A friend used to keep his vodka in rubbing alcohol to hide it from his mother and one night he poured it through bread to filter out cotton fibers that had gotten inside.  I was so wasted I thought he had managed to change the rubbing alcohol into something potable this way.

13. Fortunately I never actually tried doing this.

14. I was an Honors student taking AP Chemistry at the time.

15. I no longer drink much.  Usually only a beer or two here and there.

16. My father is a weekend alcoholic who has never admitted it to himself.

17. My mother will still go out and buy him a case once in awhile.

18. I have no real fear of dying but I am terrified of becoming my father.

19. I do have this one strange notion that when you die you may actually continue to hear and feel things on some level for some time after death.

20. It's one of the reasons I want to be cremated quickly as opposed to moldering away in a grave.  I still have concerns because of this about having signed the organ donor portion on the back of my license but I figure it's the right thing to do.

21. I think people who refer to suicide as the coward's way out don't have clue as to what they're talking about.  I think those people who jumped from the World Trade Center to escape the fire were no more cowards than the firemen doing their jobs that day.  And for people who commit suicide, it's not much different than facing day after day of raging flames.  I don't condone suicide, but I've stood at that window's ledge before and there is no cowardice involved, just overwhelming desperation.

22. Despite only being a so-so swimmer I once saved a friend from drowning at the beach.  When we arrived that day, I had told my friends that the undertow was pretty nasty and they better be careful since I wasn't going to get killed trying to save anyone.

23. He panicked after I got to him and almost drowned the both of us but it is one my prouder moments.  I have no idea what happened to him; hopefully he didn't become a serial killer.

24. Ten years ago, a friend managed to get his girlfriend's mother to pay for my way to Grand Cayman where we all spent most of the entire time SCUBA diving.

25. This same friend cheated on his girlfriend twice while we were down there and then continued this other relationship for several months after he got back home.  I spent a lot of time covering for him.

26. I've only ever SCUBA dived during that one vacation in Cayman. 

27. I once went to see this same friend (from 24 & 25) in a hospital after he had been in a bad car accident.  Two of his girlfriends (neither one from above) also came to visit at the same time.  I had to give one of them a ride home.  It wasn't a pleasant experience.

28. It reminded me of when I had to drive home two girlfriends I was seeing at the same time. They were friends and knew that I was involved with both of them.  It became particularly unpleasant after I made the mistake of asking them who I should drop off first.

29. The one I dropped off last is still my girlfriend 14 years later. 

30. I really hate the term "girlfriend" and "significant other." They really need to come up with something new here.

31. For some reason I have never completely figured out, I have no intention of ever getting married though I have no problem with the concept of spending the rest of my life with her.  She's sorta okay with this.

32. Nor do I want kids. 

33. I feel really guilty about this sometimes because I wish I knew for sure if that's what she truly wanted.

34. But if it wasn't, I would be more likely to let her go and find that happiness with someone else, than agree to have children.

35. And I'm horrified that someone would be willing to sacrifice something like that for me.

36. I think it's possible for two people very much in love to make each other's lives miserable. 

37. And that this concept isn't explored nearly enough in literature or movies.

38. My mother is German and my father can speak German but they never taught my sister or me anything other than a few words.  I resent them for that.

39. I also resent my parents for forcing me to go to college right after high school by threatening to take away both my car and kicking me out if I didn't go.

40. And I resent them for never saving a dime for their retirements.

41. But I'm keenly aware that I'm also quite responsible for myself and blaming them really only goes so far and that that distance doesn't rate a scale on a map of the local mall.

42. I can spend hours playing the Spider solitaire card game on my computer.  I view it as a form of meditation without the strange moaning.

43. I think I have an incredible amount of patience with most things.  Still, when I get really really pissed off I sometimes get violent and I've experienced blackouts of those periods of time.  It's another reason why I don't drink.  And why I prefer to be really really patient.

44. I am a control freak. 

45. I am extremely overcritical of anything I do.  This list might take months.

46. When I was in HS and my early years of college, I had a 30" waist and used to think I was fat.  Before I went out on disability, I had a 34" waist.  Now I have a 40" waist.

47. I am admittedly prejudiced when it comes to people who are overweight.  Freudian much?

48. I think this makes me understand Clarence Thomas a little better.

49. I seem to have a talent for judging people on early impressions.

50. I think killing someone might be too easy for me to do, yet possibly impossible for me to live with.

51. I am a sucker for people, especially women, or animals in distress and would make a perfect dupe.

52. I was briefly in a BDSM relationship in HS.

53. I was seven when I first started having sexual fantasies.  Which also often had a BDSM element to them.

54. I have never even considered telling my girlfriend about it nor suggest we experiment with it in any way.

55. There's this joke I like:  My wife and I are into S&M.  She sleeps and I masturbate. 

56. Once, my girlfriend and I went to a couple's home for the first time.  They had a Rottweiller which seemed pretty friendly at first until it growled once and suddenly lunged right at my girlfriend's face.  I instinctively reacted by blocking her face with my fist which the dog took hold of in its mouth.  For a long moment, the dog and I stood staring at each other, both of us looking pretty confused at the sudden turn of events, waiting for the dog to decide what to do with my hand.  It let go and I didn't have a single mark on my hand.  The dog was locked away with lots of apologies by our friends and we were then told that this dog sometimes didn't like many females other than the wife.  It was the last day we went to their place even though I was a friend of his since first grade.

57. I can only deal with stupid people for so long. Sadly, I think I'm one of them.

58. I've always wanted pet birds but don't think birds should be anything but wild.  They should fly.  It's like keeping a cheetah in dog pen.

59. I once had a dream about my uncle's head sort of blowing like a pressure cooker, but instead of steam there was blood.  He was hospitalized the next day for high blood pressure and later that month died from a stroke.

60. I don't know if I believe in gods, ghosts, ESP, aliens, the Loch Ness monster, or the Green Party, but I think they're both distressing and comforting to consider.

61. If I were made absolute dictator of anything, I have no doubt that I'd prove to be the poster boy for that whole "power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely" line.  Absolutely.

62. Pamela Anderson does nothing for me really. But I'd still probably do her.  If I were single.  And my penis was chrome-plated.

63. I have one of the worst memories of anyone I know.  Made worse by depression and medications I'm on.

64. I supposedly once had an IQ over 150.  Now I struggle to grasp certain concepts, especially dry text manuals which I used to find pretty simple. 

65. I've never been able to remember lyrics for shit.  Which really really sucks when I get a song in my head because I usually can't recall more than a line or two in the chorus and so it just gets repeated over and over.

66. I've always wanted to be able to quote poetry or literature.  It'll never happen.

67. We decided to name our latest cat Jasper Grendl because I wanted to call him Grendl and she wanted to name him Jasper.  I now tend to refer to him as Jas, and she mostly calls him Grendl-bear.

68. I believe this country may be headed for extremely violent times in the next ten to fifteen years that will make the 60's look like one big Peter, Paul & Mary concert.

69. I wouldn't be surprised to see an actual coup take place but sometimes think one of the greatest deterrents to such a thing are the whacko militias spread across the country.  I don't find this particularly comforting and although I'm pro-gun control, I'm feeling a need to be armed.

70. I also wonder when and if there will ever be a revolution against those 1% who have 90% of the wealth.  Because if and when there is one, I'm there.

71. I think more than anything, the one sensation I hate is having a long, individual hair drawn across my lip. Alright, maybe not anything, but it ranks up there pretty high.

72. I hate the fact that I still get acne and am losing my hair.  Couldn't I have gotten a few years in between?

73. I used to be able to wear my hair in a ponytail but now buzz it myself.  I don't want to be one of those balding guys with a ponytail. 

74. Were I somehow to gain an insanely large amount of wealth I think I'd succumb and get cosmetic surgery.  First, a hair transplant, then ironically enough laser hair removal, a nose job, something about those dark circles under my eyes, scar removal, and liposuction.

75. In my early teens, my friends and I would go to the beach and body surf where, for kicks, we'd frequently attempt to knock over the people standing in the shallow surf -- especially fat women.

76. Once while doing this, I almost drowned after a woman I knocked over fell on top of me and she couldn't get back up.

77. My father used to make us sit at the table until we finished our plates.  Several times I was stuck at the kitchen table until bedtime because I refused to eat beets.  They literally made me throw up.  That stupid practice stopped once he made me eat them when we had company and I promptly threw up at the table.  I probably could have made it to the bathroom if I had tried.

78. To this day, when I go to a certain diner where they have beets out on a relish dish, I have to have them removed from the table.

79. I think early mornings are the most beautiful part of the day but I rarely wake up early enough to enjoy them.

80. I have this thing for women singers. I love listening to them.  From Billie Holiday to Jewel, Enya to Tori Amos, Sheryl Crow to the Cowboy Junkies, Norah Jones to Melissa Etheridge, Sarah McLachlan to Loreena McKennitt.  It's very weird.

81. It's not that I don't like male vocalists equally but I listen to more women singers than most people seem to.  Certainly more than you'd ever catch on the radio.  To me, listening to women is much like looking at women.  Very sexy.

82. I don't think I can manage much respect for someone from a current Western society who refuses to believe in some form of evolution or believes that dinosaurs never actually walked the earth.  And I almost feel bad about that, but not so much that I actually feel bad.

83. In 10th grade, I had this major crush on this girl named Desiree but always thought she was completely out of my league.  In my yearbook that year she wrote that she thought I was cute and that she wished we could hang out that summer and she put in her phone number.  Despite a desperate longing to, I never called.

84. There's this song that came out a couple of years ago, I think called "She's So High Above Me" which reminds me of her every time I hear it on the radio.  Prior to hearing that song, I hadn't thought of her since high school.

85. I never finished college.  I'm exactly two 3-credit courses shy of completing my degree.  There's a good chance I never will.

86. As my social phobia became more pronounced, I changed from a Management/Marketing major to a Writing Lit major solely to avoid an oral presentation requirement.  My grades were slightly better in business classes and I thought the business degree would be better in the job market, but⤆

87. Still, I enjoyed the English Lit courses more.

88. Several of my professors told me I had a great gift for writing.  I find the process of writing akin to pulling out my own veins. 

89. I think I burned out of school around 6th grade and never really made a full recovery.

90. The summer I turned 17, I almost enlisted into the Army.  I wanted to become a helicopter pilot.  But at the last minute my mother refused to permit me to join up.  (She had to sign me in since I was still a minor.)  By the time I was 18, I'd lost interest.

91. I have this recurring dream where I'm trying to chase after 'someone bad' but I can't move, my whole body feels as if it's wrapped tightly in wet cloth.  And when I try to yell, I have no voice.

92. I once had a wart that I got rid of by using a Dremel rotary tool on it.  A couple years later, I got another which my doctor was trying to remove by applying acid to it.  I thought it was taking too long, so I took a razor blade, slit the wart into sections and then pulled them out with a pair of pliers.  It was strangely satisfying and left no visible scar.

93. I have ambidextrous tendencies.  I used to primarily bat lefty and play street hockey lefty but I can't throw or write lefty for shit. 

94. One of my most embarrassing moments:  One afternoon I went to a friend's grandparents' house and was cooking at their BBQ and having a good time with his family.  My friend and I later cut out to pick up his girlfriend and a couple other people and then when back to his house where no one was due home for a little while.  His mother and two younger siblings walked in on two friends drinking in the living room, me rolling joints in the kitchen, and my friend and his girlfriend going at it in his bedroom.  

95. I often feel that an endangered animal is worth its prorated equal in numbers of people.  For example, if there are only 2000 tigers left in the world and there are 6 billion people, then each tiger should be worth 3 million people.

96. Something that still makes me laugh:  Once a coworker asked me to tape an episode of something (Star Trek, maybe) so I did.  He, his girlfriend and his whole very religious family made popcorn and sat down to watch the show only to play the tape I gave them and find a recording of HBO's "Real Sex" series apparently in the middle of a pretty raunchy scene.  I swear, completely unintentional on my part.

97. Before I got sick, I loved to travel more than anything else.  Especially road trips.  And although a bit shy, I really like people and people watching.  It's been a bitter pill these past few years.

98. Watching sports bores me.  Although when I was a kid I loved Yankees baseball during the era of Guidry, Nettles, Jackson, and Randolph.  I cried when I learned Thurman Munson died.

99. I love the smell of freshly mowed grass. It's like I can recall every beautiful sunny day that I've ever had in the space of one breath.

100. Jasper Grendl, our cat I mentioned earlier, often lets us know he wants to come back inside by leaping onto the window screens, hanging there, and meowing at us until he sees one of us go for the door.  A couple of weeks ago I took him to the vet, where they cut his claws pretty short.  Since then he just sort of bounces off the window screens.  He seems quite put out of late.