1. Its pronounced White not Witt
2. I'm 26 years old
3. Sophie (Ms. Whyt) is 23 years old
4. I'm a dirty old man
5. I have quickly run out of things to say
6. There are 7 kids in my family. The last 4 being 2 sets of twins 1 year apart.
7. I'm 5' 11", 145 pounds.
8. At this point in time I'd like to blame Claris for my writer's block
9. I had a cornea transplant
10. I think Jon Stewart is the funniest man on TV
11. I'm not half as funny as I appear to be
12. I Have a BSc. In Mechanical Engineering
13. It took me 8 years to do a 4 year degree
14. My cat wants me dead
15. Fortunately he's too stupid to succeed
16. Unlike many people my age I have no nostalgia for the 80's.
17. I was a virgin until I was 22
18. Sophie is only my second girlfriend ever
19. The mother of my first girlfriend caught us together while we was nekkid.
20. I have actually caught myself reading textbooks for fun after I had graduated
21. I don't drink
22. I don't smoke
23. I don't do drugs (except for the morphine incident).
24. I'm kinda like Shaft so you could say I'm Shafting
25. I plan on padding out this list with random song lyrics and useless statements like this one.
26. Like all my best school assignments this one is being done at the very last minute
27. I first started lurking at the WB Bronze during the summer after season 2.
28. My first post (under a different name) was one of those "why do you guys ignore newbies?" posts that I now detest
29. I continue to blame Claris for my writers block
30. I fear Claris but probably not as much as I should
31. I'm going to turn this in 31% completed because I'm a slacker
I informed Mr. Whyt that I needed one more, 'cause it was the funniest moment I've ever had in AIM when he told me about
this a while ago - it's the short short version, but what he forgets to tell you is that while he was on the floor, his girlfriend was
snickering at him. I've never met Ms. Whyt, but I like her.
32. Because you asked so nicely:
The Morphine Story: or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Bomb fear Drugs
About 6 months into our relationship Ms. Whyt and I took a road trip to Calgary to visit my sister and some of Ms. Whyt's friends. We stayed
with Ms. Whyt's friend Crazy Jen. So one night I had a horrible horrible headache, the worst pain I had ever felt. So Crazy Jen asks if I want
anything for it "Asprin, Tylenol, Morphine?". I chose the morphine. Ms. Whyt gave me this crazy "what are you doing look?", I thought it would
be okay because Ms. Whyt had informed that Crazy Jen had been in a bad car crash and I assumed that the Morphine was prescribed to her and that
everything was on the up and up. Later I learned that no, Crazy Jen is a hypochondriac drug addict, who woulda thunk it? I mean surely a
nickname like Crazy Jen would've been enough to tip me off. So I took the Morphine and quickly fell asleep. Three to four hours later I woke
up feeling great, no headache, felt like I had had the best sleep ever. Ms. Whyt and I fooled around a bit and then I got up with the intention
of going to the bathroom, my body had other plans and I promptly fell down.
After several attempts to stand my legs finally started working and I stumbled to the bathroom, one hand on the wall for support. After
carefully doing my business I headed back to bed, once more with my hand on the wall to keep me propped up. This worked well until I got to
the entrance to the kitchen, there was no longer a wall to hold me up and I fell sideways into the kitchen. I then slowly crawled back to
bed and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up feeling fine and Ms. Whyt and I went to brunch with Crazy Jen and her mother. In the car
ride to the restaurant I started to get nauseous and upon I arriving I ran to the bathroom and barfed my guts out. I then sat miserably at
the table while everyone ate.
And that's the Morphine story. Remember kids drugs are bad mmmkay?
33. I just got back from spending 2 days helping set up Ms. Whyt's sister N's apartment in Red Deer. The morning of the second day,
while N was off to her first day at new college Ms. Whyt and I had sex all over her apartment. Her bedroom, her couch, her new table, her new
chairs, her kitchen, her bathroom, her storage closet, there was sex everywhere. And then when we picked N up for lunch she asked us what we
did all morning, Ms Whyt deadpanned "Nothing much, just screwed around".